No motivation — feel like I'm going down a black hole

Posted by twobluelady @twobluelady, Aug 23, 2017

Currently not on any medication though I have been in the past on Celexa. Thought most of my problem was a painful divorce and went off medication. Since then I have lost my job, living with family, gained almost 100 pounds. I just can't seem to find the motivation to change anything and feeling helpless. I know I need to find a doctor and get back on medication, but what can I do in the meantime? I feel I'm going down a black hole.

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@lisalucier

@twobluelady, @magspierce and @amberpep -- you all had talked before about isolating yourselves sometimes and not going out. I'm wondering if now that it's turned to spring and the days are getting nicer, if you've been getting out a bit?

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Why do we isolate, when we know what's the worst thing for us? Why does everything seem so hard? Yesterday was the first day of spring, but it's still pretty darn cold here. But I can feel it in me... Can't wait to start gardening and taking walks. I feel it coming.

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@lisalucier

@twobluelady, @magspierce and @amberpep -- you all had talked before about isolating yourselves sometimes and not going out. I'm wondering if now that it's turned to spring and the days are getting nicer, if you've been getting out a bit?

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I wish I had your enthusiasm and vigor but I'm in a state of depression. Seems like change of seasons take a toll on me.

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@lisalucier

@twobluelady, @magspierce and @amberpep -- you all had talked before about isolating yourselves sometimes and not going out. I'm wondering if now that it's turned to spring and the days are getting nicer, if you've been getting out a bit?

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I am 64 and have both MCI and Depression and although I feel okay everything just seems way harder. Some days I just can’t get out of my own way. I need to realize that I can’t keep the same pace up as I used too. I now need calm, focus, minus the multitasking. Easier said than done. I need to give myself a break and lower my expectations, not of what I do but of how many things I take on. In a way it is forcing me to slow down which in the long run is probably a healthier way fo me to live.

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@lisalucier

@twobluelady, @magspierce and @amberpep -- you all had talked before about isolating yourselves sometimes and not going out. I'm wondering if now that it's turned to spring and the days are getting nicer, if you've been getting out a bit?

Jump to this post

I've been there. At the point nothing could entice me to get out of bed. But finally the right medications and therapy had been working 4 several years. But I still have low-grade depression and severe anxiety. There was a time with the depression I didn't think I would ever feel better. I know it's a dark lonely place. But it can get better. And I hope it does for you. I always have to be working on it and be on guard with preventing every lap so to speak. Keep talking the best thing to do.

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@lisalucier

@twobluelady, @magspierce and @amberpep -- you all had talked before about isolating yourselves sometimes and not going out. I'm wondering if now that it's turned to spring and the days are getting nicer, if you've been getting out a bit?

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@mscosette

I could have written the same words. It is truly a dark, lonely place.

Jim

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@lisalucier

@twobluelady, @magspierce and @amberpep -- you all had talked before about isolating yourselves sometimes and not going out. I'm wondering if now that it's turned to spring and the days are getting nicer, if you've been getting out a bit?

Jump to this post

@mscosette I think we isolate because we are not accepting of ourselves. We want to see the stigma erased from mental health disease, but we can't quite seem to get over that hump ourselves. Yes, we tell ourselves that it as real as my diabetes, pancreatitis, RA, Fibro, etc..., but we can't get that drilled into our subconscious. I also know that for me there is a fear of large groups as I am not always comfortable with what my behavior may be or more precisely, what I may say. Does that resonate with anyone?

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I have been there. It's such a vicious circle. The depression makes you want to stay in bed which leads to weight gain and the weight gain want you to move even less. I still need to lose about 50 lb. I I think it would be great to have a group of people that motivated each other. It could simply be posting something you force yourself to do that day.like a walk around the block, meditating anything that is a step in the right direction. I just joined this connect thing so I'm not really sure how it works. Just push yourself a little bit... baby steps.

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@gentleness

Sometimes you really have to push yourself. Take a walk. I'm not the best at following this advice though. It's hard. Do good things for yourself. A massage perhaps. Best of luck to you.

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Hi, it sounds like we are kind kind of in the same place. Both trying to motivate ourselves to take care of ourselves. Would anyone in this group be interested in just encouraging trying to do something positive for yourself each day? I think it would be helpful simply 2 report something like, I didn't want 2... But I made myself... Walk around the block today. After the walk I felt...does this make any sense? I am going to force myself to do something today and check in later. I hope some others will join me.

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@twobluelady

I've come to realize a big part of my problem is staying home and not going out. When I do get out, run errands, etc, I feel better. However, hard to go out when you have to watch your money and self-esteem issues so bad. Feel like everyone is looking at the "fat" lady. In my group of friends, I am by far the biggest. In reality i know everyone is not looking at me, but emotionally it's hard. Plus there ARE some people who definitely discriminate against you. It has happened to me before. Even in my looking for work, I'm paranoid about it.

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I cringe at the idea of just making a phone call. A stupid phone call like to the cable company. I am an isolator too.
I know it's the worst thing I can do. But yet I do it. But just getting on this connect group is a baby step.

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@lisalucier

@twobluelady, @magspierce and @amberpep -- you all had talked before about isolating yourselves sometimes and not going out. I'm wondering if now that it's turned to spring and the days are getting nicer, if you've been getting out a bit?

Jump to this post

I definitely agree it's a complicated situation. Has nothing to do with being lazy or anything like that. I have an extremely hard time making small talk. Hate it. And I avoid large social get-togethers like the plague.
I'm not concerned about what my behavior would look like. But there was a time that I would have as I had such a hard time controlling my emotions and anxiety.
Now I kind of know what it would look like same meeting a new person, small talk and I don't like the way it looks or feels. But I'm so tired of being lonely as well.

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