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twobluelady
@twobluelady

Posts: 6
Joined: Aug 23, 2017

No motivation

Posted by @twobluelady, Aug 23, 2017

Currently not on any medication though I have been in the past on Celexa. Thought most of my problem was a painful divorce and went off medication. Since then I have lost my job, living with family, gained almost 100 pounds. I just can’t seem to find the motivation to change anything and feeling helpless. I know I need to find a doctor and get back on medication, but what can I do in the meantime? I feel I’m going down a black hole.

REPLY

Sometimes you really have to push yourself. Take a walk. I’m not the best at following this advice though. It’s hard. Do good things for yourself. A massage perhaps. Best of luck to you.

Probably the first thing I would need is to get a job. That would force me to get out. All i want to do now is sleep and eat. It’s a vicious cycle. Exercising has helped when I do it. Thank you for responding and the encouragement.

Liked by Parus

@twobluelady Welcome to Mayo Connect,

I’m so glad that you posted about your lack of motivation and your need to make some changes. You know, admitting you have a problem is the first step in getting better. Divorce is a difficult thing to recover from. Many of us have walked that road and understand how it feels.

Several months ago, we had a discussion called “Happiness: A One Week Journey,” here is the link to that discussion, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/happiness-a-one-week-journey/

Perhaps you will find some encouragement by looking at Dr. Amit Sood’s program. In the meantime, stay connected with us. Find things to do that you enjoy, like walking, talking, listening to music, etc.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Teresa

@hopeful33250

@twobluelady Welcome to Mayo Connect,

I’m so glad that you posted about your lack of motivation and your need to make some changes. You know, admitting you have a problem is the first step in getting better. Divorce is a difficult thing to recover from. Many of us have walked that road and understand how it feels.

Several months ago, we had a discussion called “Happiness: A One Week Journey,” here is the link to that discussion, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/happiness-a-one-week-journey/

Perhaps you will find some encouragement by looking at Dr. Amit Sood’s program. In the meantime, stay connected with us. Find things to do that you enjoy, like walking, talking, listening to music, etc.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Teresa

Jump to this post

Thanks, I have signed up for the program.

Hi there friend …. I know exactly what you’re talking about because I’ve been there. Within the passed 12 years I left my husband, got a divorce 3 years later, bought my own condo (FREEDOM), moved to another state closer to my girls (that was hard because I’m not young – 72), had to have all my teeth surgically removed because all the roots had demineralized and am now set to get false teeth, 3 years before I moved down here I had a right knee replacement – something didn’t “take” and my doctor had to go in and do what they call a “revision.” Within 1 month after that, my kids were moving me down here to VA. Now I am living in a low-income apartment, after living in a duplex (where no one spoke to anyone else), and I’m finding these folks to be really down to earth, friendly people. I’ve only been here 3 weeks and already 2 little black girls have sort of attached themselves to me, and I think it’s ONLY because their Mom works all the time to care for the family and they get little attention. I love kids, and used to be Asst. Pastor in a Children’s Ministry at a large Evangelical Church in MD, so I really enjoy talking to them. We sit on the curb and just chat ….
Re. motivation (I’m sorry I got off track there) when we go through a series of heavy duty situations in our lives ….. like a divorce which is MAJOR TRAUMA, even when we knew we had to get out, it is bound to deplete us of everything …. energy, motivation, even getting out of bed some days. You might want to think about getting some therapy from a solid Psychologist, and also being prescribed a medication that will help you during this time. You are not in a fun place, my friend … I’ve been there and painful doesn’t even cover it. I felt totally thrown away. Be kind to yourself, if you don’t feel like doing something – don’t, order a pizza one night for dinner (delivery) – just treat yourself as you would someone else. And do consider a Psychologist for some therapy and a Psychiatrist for medication. It was a long haul for me, but I made it ….. I’m here, I’m happy in my little apartment with my nice, real folks neighbors, and once again I like who I am, not who my X said I was.
Take care,
abby

@amberpep

Hi there friend …. I know exactly what you’re talking about because I’ve been there. Within the passed 12 years I left my husband, got a divorce 3 years later, bought my own condo (FREEDOM), moved to another state closer to my girls (that was hard because I’m not young – 72), had to have all my teeth surgically removed because all the roots had demineralized and am now set to get false teeth, 3 years before I moved down here I had a right knee replacement – something didn’t “take” and my doctor had to go in and do what they call a “revision.” Within 1 month after that, my kids were moving me down here to VA. Now I am living in a low-income apartment, after living in a duplex (where no one spoke to anyone else), and I’m finding these folks to be really down to earth, friendly people. I’ve only been here 3 weeks and already 2 little black girls have sort of attached themselves to me, and I think it’s ONLY because their Mom works all the time to care for the family and they get little attention. I love kids, and used to be Asst. Pastor in a Children’s Ministry at a large Evangelical Church in MD, so I really enjoy talking to them. We sit on the curb and just chat ….
Re. motivation (I’m sorry I got off track there) when we go through a series of heavy duty situations in our lives ….. like a divorce which is MAJOR TRAUMA, even when we knew we had to get out, it is bound to deplete us of everything …. energy, motivation, even getting out of bed some days. You might want to think about getting some therapy from a solid Psychologist, and also being prescribed a medication that will help you during this time. You are not in a fun place, my friend … I’ve been there and painful doesn’t even cover it. I felt totally thrown away. Be kind to yourself, if you don’t feel like doing something – don’t, order a pizza one night for dinner (delivery) – just treat yourself as you would someone else. And do consider a Psychologist for some therapy and a Psychiatrist for medication. It was a long haul for me, but I made it ….. I’m here, I’m happy in my little apartment with my nice, real folks neighbors, and once again I like who I am, not who my X said I was.
Take care,
abby

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WOW! Good for you. I’m your age and this past year and a half have been horrible. I too am having major dental work done —-with complications and some days I just want to pull them all out!

@amberpep

Hi there friend …. I know exactly what you’re talking about because I’ve been there. Within the passed 12 years I left my husband, got a divorce 3 years later, bought my own condo (FREEDOM), moved to another state closer to my girls (that was hard because I’m not young – 72), had to have all my teeth surgically removed because all the roots had demineralized and am now set to get false teeth, 3 years before I moved down here I had a right knee replacement – something didn’t “take” and my doctor had to go in and do what they call a “revision.” Within 1 month after that, my kids were moving me down here to VA. Now I am living in a low-income apartment, after living in a duplex (where no one spoke to anyone else), and I’m finding these folks to be really down to earth, friendly people. I’ve only been here 3 weeks and already 2 little black girls have sort of attached themselves to me, and I think it’s ONLY because their Mom works all the time to care for the family and they get little attention. I love kids, and used to be Asst. Pastor in a Children’s Ministry at a large Evangelical Church in MD, so I really enjoy talking to them. We sit on the curb and just chat ….
Re. motivation (I’m sorry I got off track there) when we go through a series of heavy duty situations in our lives ….. like a divorce which is MAJOR TRAUMA, even when we knew we had to get out, it is bound to deplete us of everything …. energy, motivation, even getting out of bed some days. You might want to think about getting some therapy from a solid Psychologist, and also being prescribed a medication that will help you during this time. You are not in a fun place, my friend … I’ve been there and painful doesn’t even cover it. I felt totally thrown away. Be kind to yourself, if you don’t feel like doing something – don’t, order a pizza one night for dinner (delivery) – just treat yourself as you would someone else. And do consider a Psychologist for some therapy and a Psychiatrist for medication. It was a long haul for me, but I made it ….. I’m here, I’m happy in my little apartment with my nice, real folks neighbors, and once again I like who I am, not who my X said I was.
Take care,
abby

Jump to this post

So glad that you seem to have come out of some major life issues and that life is better now. I am definitely going to get a doctor and start on medication again. Counseling too would be of benefit. Why is it that something as simple as calling for an appointment can be so hard to do? I am so scared of the way I feel. I’m not taking suicidal or anything of that sort, but really hate that I am so weak that I can’t just get even the simplest things done. I guess what i’m afraid of is that it won’t get better. I know it will if I take action, but that thought is still in the back of my mind.

You will get better, with the right competent doctors. I’ll tell you a funny story in response to “something as simple as calling for an appointment can be so hard to do?” When my Psychologist, who I had been with only about a month, said that he felt I needed some medication to help me out of that dark hole. YE GADS! That means a Psychiatrist! I didn’t want to do that …… why? Because I “knew” they were all whackos! Boy, I was a scared kid (at 60 then) when I walked into his office ….. and he was not a whacko at all. It’s funny the things we think sometimes that hold up our healing.
Take care ….. keep writing … we’re all here for you, and believe me, many, many, of us totally understand.
abby

@amberpep

You will get better, with the right competent doctors. I’ll tell you a funny story in response to “something as simple as calling for an appointment can be so hard to do?” When my Psychologist, who I had been with only about a month, said that he felt I needed some medication to help me out of that dark hole. YE GADS! That means a Psychiatrist! I didn’t want to do that …… why? Because I “knew” they were all whackos! Boy, I was a scared kid (at 60 then) when I walked into his office ….. and he was not a whacko at all. It’s funny the things we think sometimes that hold up our healing.
Take care ….. keep writing … we’re all here for you, and believe me, many, many, of us totally understand.
abby

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shoregal ….. I sure know what you mean. Many times I just wanted to forget the dentures and walk around looking like a shrunken head! If I weren’t so vain, I probably would have done that! Of course, my kids never would be seen with me, but ………
abby

Liked by Parus

I’ve come to realize a big part of my problem is staying home and not going out. When I do get out, run errands, etc, I feel better. However, hard to go out when you have to watch your money and self-esteem issues so bad. Feel like everyone is looking at the “fat” lady. In my group of friends, I am by far the biggest. In reality i know everyone is not looking at me, but emotionally it’s hard. Plus there ARE some people who definitely discriminate against you. It has happened to me before. Even in my looking for work, I’m paranoid about it.

@twobluelady

I’ve come to realize a big part of my problem is staying home and not going out. When I do get out, run errands, etc, I feel better. However, hard to go out when you have to watch your money and self-esteem issues so bad. Feel like everyone is looking at the “fat” lady. In my group of friends, I am by far the biggest. In reality i know everyone is not looking at me, but emotionally it’s hard. Plus there ARE some people who definitely discriminate against you. It has happened to me before. Even in my looking for work, I’m paranoid about it.

Jump to this post

@twobluelady I understand completely. I tend to do that at times, sometimes I have to make myself go out. I am large myself. But even when I was thin or at a healthy weight, I still felt self conscious and that I wasn’t good enough and that people were staring at me and thinking negative thoughts, but now I realize that it is me who is having the negative thoughts. I still have some trouble with that at times. I’ve been working on that and better about it now, still have to remind myself at times, and always doing my affirmations.

@amberpep

You will get better, with the right competent doctors. I’ll tell you a funny story in response to “something as simple as calling for an appointment can be so hard to do?” When my Psychologist, who I had been with only about a month, said that he felt I needed some medication to help me out of that dark hole. YE GADS! That means a Psychiatrist! I didn’t want to do that …… why? Because I “knew” they were all whackos! Boy, I was a scared kid (at 60 then) when I walked into his office ….. and he was not a whacko at all. It’s funny the things we think sometimes that hold up our healing.
Take care ….. keep writing … we’re all here for you, and believe me, many, many, of us totally understand.
abby

Jump to this post

@amberpep My funny story is that my thoughts were always that they would see just how crazy I really was and lock me up for good. I no longer feel that way and going to my current psychologist has been very beneficial. I don’t see a psychiatrist any more, she retired, so my regular dr and psychologist work together on my antidepressants.

Liked by Parus

@amberpep

Hi there friend …. I know exactly what you’re talking about because I’ve been there. Within the passed 12 years I left my husband, got a divorce 3 years later, bought my own condo (FREEDOM), moved to another state closer to my girls (that was hard because I’m not young – 72), had to have all my teeth surgically removed because all the roots had demineralized and am now set to get false teeth, 3 years before I moved down here I had a right knee replacement – something didn’t “take” and my doctor had to go in and do what they call a “revision.” Within 1 month after that, my kids were moving me down here to VA. Now I am living in a low-income apartment, after living in a duplex (where no one spoke to anyone else), and I’m finding these folks to be really down to earth, friendly people. I’ve only been here 3 weeks and already 2 little black girls have sort of attached themselves to me, and I think it’s ONLY because their Mom works all the time to care for the family and they get little attention. I love kids, and used to be Asst. Pastor in a Children’s Ministry at a large Evangelical Church in MD, so I really enjoy talking to them. We sit on the curb and just chat ….
Re. motivation (I’m sorry I got off track there) when we go through a series of heavy duty situations in our lives ….. like a divorce which is MAJOR TRAUMA, even when we knew we had to get out, it is bound to deplete us of everything …. energy, motivation, even getting out of bed some days. You might want to think about getting some therapy from a solid Psychologist, and also being prescribed a medication that will help you during this time. You are not in a fun place, my friend … I’ve been there and painful doesn’t even cover it. I felt totally thrown away. Be kind to yourself, if you don’t feel like doing something – don’t, order a pizza one night for dinner (delivery) – just treat yourself as you would someone else. And do consider a Psychologist for some therapy and a Psychiatrist for medication. It was a long haul for me, but I made it ….. I’m here, I’m happy in my little apartment with my nice, real folks neighbors, and once again I like who I am, not who my X said I was.
Take care,
abby

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Amberpep i admire your courageous spirit. Iam your age and have suffered 3 major depressive episodes with anxiety and panic. I have to say, this time around has been the worse one so far. You offer hope to all us seniors out here. Did you need medication?

@hopeful33250

@twobluelady Welcome to Mayo Connect,

I’m so glad that you posted about your lack of motivation and your need to make some changes. You know, admitting you have a problem is the first step in getting better. Divorce is a difficult thing to recover from. Many of us have walked that road and understand how it feels.

Several months ago, we had a discussion called “Happiness: A One Week Journey,” here is the link to that discussion, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/happiness-a-one-week-journey/

Perhaps you will find some encouragement by looking at Dr. Amit Sood’s program. In the meantime, stay connected with us. Find things to do that you enjoy, like walking, talking, listening to music, etc.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Teresa

Jump to this post

Thanks for your nice post Teresa. I was just divorced at age 72 against my will. I miss my ex wife and my nice home terribly. Now I’m in this retirement community, but still living alone in my little studio apartment. My life long depression has gotten worse even on 300 mg daily of Effexor. My motivation is zilch. Glad I found this group.
Rick

@amberpep

Hi there friend …. I know exactly what you’re talking about because I’ve been there. Within the passed 12 years I left my husband, got a divorce 3 years later, bought my own condo (FREEDOM), moved to another state closer to my girls (that was hard because I’m not young – 72), had to have all my teeth surgically removed because all the roots had demineralized and am now set to get false teeth, 3 years before I moved down here I had a right knee replacement – something didn’t “take” and my doctor had to go in and do what they call a “revision.” Within 1 month after that, my kids were moving me down here to VA. Now I am living in a low-income apartment, after living in a duplex (where no one spoke to anyone else), and I’m finding these folks to be really down to earth, friendly people. I’ve only been here 3 weeks and already 2 little black girls have sort of attached themselves to me, and I think it’s ONLY because their Mom works all the time to care for the family and they get little attention. I love kids, and used to be Asst. Pastor in a Children’s Ministry at a large Evangelical Church in MD, so I really enjoy talking to them. We sit on the curb and just chat ….
Re. motivation (I’m sorry I got off track there) when we go through a series of heavy duty situations in our lives ….. like a divorce which is MAJOR TRAUMA, even when we knew we had to get out, it is bound to deplete us of everything …. energy, motivation, even getting out of bed some days. You might want to think about getting some therapy from a solid Psychologist, and also being prescribed a medication that will help you during this time. You are not in a fun place, my friend … I’ve been there and painful doesn’t even cover it. I felt totally thrown away. Be kind to yourself, if you don’t feel like doing something – don’t, order a pizza one night for dinner (delivery) – just treat yourself as you would someone else. And do consider a Psychologist for some therapy and a Psychiatrist for medication. It was a long haul for me, but I made it ….. I’m here, I’m happy in my little apartment with my nice, real folks neighbors, and once again I like who I am, not who my X said I was.
Take care,
abby

Jump to this post

Abby, thanks so much for your thoughtful reply.
Rick

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