I'm Disappearing

@judimahoney I’m sorry. It’s so hard that they become so self absorbed. We are left to care for a loved one that often excludes us from their lives. It just increases the pain we go through. Bless you. I can feel, through all of your posts, that you try so hard to maintain any normalcy you can grab.
Linda

@kmliste Thank you for sharing - that is gorgeous. It reminds me of a gardenia. Is it a tropical flower? I’ve never seen one of those before. ✨

Thank you for sharing. It’s absolutely beautiful and so interesting how it is nocturnal. Do you have flower gardens? 🌺

@gratia Is this a sunflower?

Yes, I do have some flower gardens but there is a caveat. We live in a very hot climate and we also have deer. I also like to plant for bees and birds. The deer will eat anything when they are hungry. Last couple of years I decided rather than spend a small fortune on plants that deer will likely end up eating I planted wildflowers. Got quite a show this year. Now the deer tend to leave the wildflowers alone but bring me their babies to hide in the wildflowers while they go feed. Right now, they don’t look like much but as you said so well, “it is nature.” In the spring we may have people stop by while walking asking about the front beds. I love to share with them hoping that some will try it, too. Another neighbor has two apiaries and brought me some honey. She thinks her bees are feeding on my wildflowers. She has some very dark honey that she thinks is due to some of the red corn poppies. Been interesting!
Keep sharing your pictures with me!

@kmliste it sounds like you have an incredible garden! You must live somewhere different than this climate. (I’m in the northeast) I love seeing deer. We have them here as well. It’s really special when they come around with the babies.

I’m not sure what the flower that I sent you is, but it was planted by a friend of my mom who sadly passed away. She had created a pollinator garden, and that was one of the flowers. I need to find out what it is. It makes me happy to see it still blooming- a reminder of her closeness with nature.

@gratia
I wouldn’t say incredible but it brings me joy. 🙂 I love to be outside.Right now kind of stuck in the house due to the heat except in the mornings when I can take a short walk. I enjoy all the critters too that are in the yard.

See if you can spot this one.

@shmerdloff
This is very true. I feel like I'm the same and only he has changed. I feel like the only time things are manageable are when I respond differently, positively or let things go. But it's very hard to let everything go. Sometimes it's a matter of principle. I know that he is ill, but he's just in my face all the time blaming me for things that are absolutely not true etc etc. My compassion is used up, I just want to be alone. It's not possible though. I think I've already said on this post that I can't afford to live alone and I would not abandon him anyway. I feel caught, trapped, and the only way out is to take small trips every now and then, visit friends, visit relatives, stay overnight at my son's house etc etc. It's the only solution right now. I dream all the time of being in my own place doing things my way without his crazy land approach to living. And then every now and then we have a really good day. It's so confusing.