Pain management and life expectancy stage 4 mestasized to bones

Has your husband had Pluvicto? Sometimes that will work when chemo won’t. If you’re willing to leave the country and have him treated, you could get actinium, which can work for some people.

Have they tried chemo with carboplatin? That is a treatment for more advanced cases, and he should at least be given that treatment to see if it will help.

My father died of prostate cancer at 88. When I was a teenager, he had his teeth ground down and crowned without Novacaine, his Pain tolerance was that high. He would come home for dinner after seeing the dentist and we never knew how difficult it was.

The last few weeks before he died, he was on so much morphine, he really couldn’t really communicate.

It can be very difficult.

I am so sorry to hear that, my heart goes out to you : (((. I am also a wife of PC patient and our fight started last year so I am not very versed with last stages but just want to send you my love and understanding and I wish I know more or could be of more help.

Could you tell us where are you treated at present time ? Maybe different group of doctors would have some more creative ideas and have some new ways to slow down your husband's cancer : ((( .

I also want to say that in recent years pain management for cancer patients advanced a lot and there are different ways to approach it depending of where cancer causes the most pain. I did some Googling and it seams that localized radiation is used to reduce tumor burden in bones and nerve blocks if tumors are pressing on some nerves. The rest of the pain is managed with opioids. It would be the best if you could find good center for palliative care
that would work with your oncologist and coordinate future care.

I am so sorry dear @debbie02 😔, I can only imagine the shock and anguish that you are both enduring today and I wish I can say or do something to help. I am sending you both hugs and will hold you in my thoughts and prayers 💗.

I am so sorry about this new development.

You mentioned that your husband's treatments over the past 4 years have included hormone, Orgovyx, Pluvicto, radiation, and chemotherapy.

Was the hormone treatment an ARSI like Zytiga (Abiraterone), Xtandi (Enzalutamide), Erleada (Apalutamide), or Nubeqa (Darolutamide)? If so, has his oncologist suggested trying a different one? Sometimes one of the "lutamides" will help when Abiraterone and the other lutamides don't.

I'm hoping for the best for both of you. ❤️ I'm 61, and have also had bone-metastatic prostate cancer for over 4 years, but I've been lucky so far that radiation + Orgovyx + Erleada (Apalutamide) have been able to hold it in check.

@surftohealth88 thank you so much for the kind words. Through the entire 4 years of treatment he did great and even continued to work. 2 weeks ago he was hurting in his pelvic area and hip, had a pet scan and today being told it’s in your entire body was such a shock! He still thinks he will be going back to work on Monday. I don’t know if he is in denial or just that stubborn. I have to admit he had me convinced he was going to beat cancer until the last few weeks and realized the worst is about to happen. I am a wreck! I don’t know what to do how to plan and most of all how to be supportive for him.

@northoftheborderthank you for your response. My husband was stage 4 when diagnosed but he has done so well with his treatments and he has had them all. That is why it was such a shock when Dr said they had done all they could do. Best of luck in your treatment and prayers for you

@debbie02
My husband deals with his cancer the same way and since you asked how to support him I can only share what I do - I let him be in denial and do all research by myself and am trying with all my might not to show all of my sadness that is some days truly overwhelming. I cry when he is not around and smile when he is around.

I make sure that he takes all of his medications and supplements and that he makes timely appointments and ask from doctors for things that he needs. I am not only protecting him from dealing with cancer - I am protecting myself since seeing him "normal and happy" is the ONLY thing that is keeping me sane. So let him go to work, let him do whatever he wishes, he will stop when he feels that he can not do it any more - he will know.

It is very hard to plan this way for anything long run, inclooding financial matters but you know what - I do not care. We can not control what will happen and when will it happen in general, so the only thing that I can do is to make sure that he lives his life fully and the way that he likes it (which for PC patients can last from just years to even decades with no particular rime nor reason ).

I hope really that you have some family members or friends that can offer you some help and shoulder to cry. 💗 For me prayers also offer comfort and hope even though I am not tremendously religious person but I am very spiritual person and prayers help me with keeping my sanity intact.

Sending you hugssss and wishing you peace and strength to endure those most trying times ✨🌺.

Thank you for sharing. What you say really makes sense. I tried smiling today around him and we planned our cookout for tomorrow. He even commented that I was in a good mood. You’re right he will know when it’s time to quit work. I am just going to try and enjoy every minute I have with him. Of course I will still worry and cry but in private. Thank God I do have family and friends to support me. I wish the best for you and your husband.

I can share about my stubborn husband too.
He got diagnosed with stage 4 PC a year and a half ago, all over his bones and lungs etc too, but NOT in pain!
He's always worked out and lifted weights, so I actually think that's helped him and maybe masked pain, sometimes he feels "deep" muscle pain but I wonder if it's the spots where the cancer "tumors" are....
He's done monthly Firmagon injections, daily zytiga pills and prednisone and then chemo docetaxel last summer.
He really wanted Pluvicto from the start but Dr (and insurance) wouldn't approve until he had done all 3 things (ADTs and chemo)- now the chemo part is not required.
My husband (and I) are not the types to take much for pain either and it's kinda the reason why it was stage 4 from the beginning, his symptoms were just peeing frequently and ED but we had a lot of stress in our lives before that so dismissed it.
I get sad and mad at God now, why is this happening to us?? My husband was 55 and I was 47 and we have 4 children, 3 at home... How will I manage without him? At diagnosis they said 30% change of making it 5 years and that ADT etc would probably work 18 months or so until PSA starts going up again and he'd be castration resistant- then it would be time for Pluvicto, but even that only works well under half the cases?
It sucks and it sucks more that we get so depressed over it and can't enjoy life! -we try...

@debbie02 I am so sorry. I was also stage 4 when first diagnosed in 2021, so I understand the double shock of hearing two things right out of the blue:

1. You have prostate cancer.
2. It has already spread, so most of the decisions other prostate-cancer patients agonise over are already moot.

I will be thinking of both of you.

@beaquilter so sorry about your husband. I wish I had some good news for you. I completely understand your sadness and frustration. The not knowing is what hurts me the most. My husband says I am a control person. I feel like if I knew what I was dealing with I could handle it better. One thing I can tell you is if your husband can keep a positive attitude it does make a difference. We have had 4 good years since he was diagnosed. Thoughts and prayers for you.