Cost of memory care for an Alzheimer's patient

Yes, get legal advice on finances. A spouse is normally allowed to keep income from patient husband if she needs it for support. As well as keeping the marital home.

Re finances- if the person is a veteran, look on the VA website, Google, or look up the Veterans Affairs office for your county (often in the same office bldg as the Area Agency on Aging). There are VA facilities in all states, they have much less stringent financial requirements than your state’s Medicaid (the people are nicer too). They may not be nearby, but gathering info is a good first step.
If the person is a Mason (dues paid up and on the list). Their continuing care facilities are wonderful AND they don’t throw you or your (eventual widow) out when the money is gone.
I worked in a county home, many days at 11:30 am, the shuttle bus from the local private pay high end nursing home would arrive, with folks whose life savings had reached the Medicaid level, then out the door to us (a new billing day began at noon). We prided ourselves on very good care and no chandeliers

@katrina123 I’ve been told not to bring them back home.

Best advice is to speak with an attorney familiar with Elder Law, who is a specialist that knows the ins and outs of state law in addition to federal. Lots of good advice on this forum, but imo, go to an expert rather than depending on anecdotal experiences.

@memoriestomoments It's kind of funny/embarrassing, but I'll share anyway because it's been a while and I can laugh about it now, but I just started googling in absolute frustration with more than a few expletives thrown in there! I think google's AI overview gave me a list of countries where dementia care was superior to that in the US, and Thailand was on that list. I then I just searched Thailand (among several other countries) and found a whole host of facilities that looked amazing. Then I started emailing them. They were responsive, kind, proactive, transparent (up front with pricing), and some offered free global pickup service. The exact opposite of what I was used to. They offered to put me in touch with some other American families with loved ones there and I had a few heartfelt conversations and after that I completely sold. The stories were excellent, even the heart breaking difficult stories were confidence building.

They do indeed speak English, and the staff are both plentiful and trained in specialty dementia care, called person centered dementia care by Dr. Tom Kitwood.

I hope this helps. Good Luck!

P.S. My mom is from Pennsylvania originally.

@lisagrey So does this mean you are sending your Mom to Thailand? Tell me more.