Doesn’t anyone else feel …… ?

@judimahoney It's called Goodbye Stress made by Olly. 🙂

@sunnygardens
You say we all seem so calm and reasonable and I bet you know that is NOT the case because we are in the same boat as you are. By the time we take to blogging here, some of the wind has been knocked out of our sails, so we may just seem calm. We are all ducks paddling furiously under the water, and looking serene on the surface; ha!
My husband also says 'I know' all the time, and sometimes when I'm in a mood I reply, 'If you know then how come.. ' While I'm saying this I know it's childish and cruel, but I find it bursting from my lips anyway. Guess it's my way of letting off steam or trying to cope.
I asked my husband for help with the dog yesterday while I was busy with some exhausting physical work here at home, and he didn't help, so I of course end up doing everything myself and try not to feel resentful but do anyway.
Since my husband is physically high-functioning he's capable of doing so much around here, but he just doesn't.
When I finally get my long-awaited appointment with a new therapist, I fear the dam will burst and I'll spend my entire session crying.
Fed up and irritable is now my middle name. You are not alone!
Bye for now. 🫂 🌺

Your husband is a contrarian and my mother is a negative person: she has a glass half empty outlook. Very depressing to be around. Feels very disheartening to anyone who thinks or feels positively. The constant repetition of your husband's contrarian and my mom's negative outlooks can be very depressive to us, the caregivers.
My siblings tell me to ignore my mom's negative comments and to let it go in one ear and out the other but it doesn't work that way.
I hope you are able to step away from your caregiver role at least once or twice a week because your husband's contrarian outlook does affect your well-being and mood. I have been trying to protect my own outlook by leaving the house for a couple of hours or even taking a short walk around the block. Is there anyone who can relieve you so you can take in the fresh air and get away for just a little while?
Another thing I'm trying is to go in and out of her room often and for different reasons so our interactions are short, giving her less time to complain. I go in and take her blood pressure and then leave the room and tell her I'll be back soon. Next time I go in I ask, would you like a bowl of fruit? Then I leave the room and come back 15-20 minutes later with her snack and then say, I'm going to walk the dog and I'll be right back. All these shorter entries into her room prevent long conversations but keep me connected with her and lessens her negative comments although I still get them but at least I don't have to hear her comments at nauseum. Good luck and God bless you!

You're definitely not alone. They say Lewy Body dementia can be a rollercoaster, well, so can being a caregiver. It does help when I'm able to find humor. But I get crazy cranky and irritable, then feel heavy with grief. The other week I was so moody while out of town, I found a store with the intent of finding a supplement to help. Ended up finding something for calming and stress relief. The stuff actually worked and I just ordered more.

My wife has developed an annoying habit of constantly repeating dates of appointments this happens several times a day. She also does the same with news reports from her mobile phone. I have recently had to pay out thousands of pounds (I live in the UK) for debts she ran up but had not paid. I have now frozen all her credit and debit cards. It’s very annoying but she can not help it because of this illness so I put up with it. We have been married 60 years the last few have been somewhat trying but she is my wife. Sivad

Sunny gardens, it's easy to get frustrated, fed up and annoyed daily over what they are doing and or not doing and are saying. So even with our reasonable posts, we feel what you feel. However, with that said, at the end of the day, start of a new one, it is what it is. So, with love, understanding and compassion at the forefront of this dreaded disease, we rise to the occasion, each and every day. We can't control what's happening, but I do think we can take the rein on how we feel. Intentionally push the anger and annoyance aside to a much better place mentally obviously more for us than them. I think we have to remember that they didn't ask for this to happen. I think over time the irritation gets outweighed by the sheer desire to just make a difference in their life. Even when they can be contrary and/or difficult. Best, Karla

You are not alone. Irritable, angry, sad, grateful. I usually have a jumble of emotions.

@sivad you’re a good person. I’m sure sorry for the financial disaster. My mom did the same to my stepdad. I’d warned him the year before to cancel her credit cards and access to the joint chequing account but he didn’t want to “rock the boat”. He regretted it when she maxed out their gold card.
Now, thankfully, he controls the farm income and she complains about having to pay for things from her old age pension.
You did the right thing.
In my case, my friend and housemate is not my husband or romantic partner so I have no control over anything. But so far, financially, he’s stable with the joint bills. Although he’s not so stable with his own money, but I can’t prevent that.
Best of luck and blessings to you!
🌻 Sunny

@sunnygardens Thank you for your reply I do not often place comments on this site but I do read many of them. The similarities in people’s experiences are remarkable and makes me realise I am not the only one with a problem. Take care and be safe.
Sivad