Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness

Posted by Parus @parus, Jul 17, 2017

Anyone else in the same boat?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Chronic Pain Support Group.

@parus

@cbrackle I am 66 and have Lyme, Fibromyalgia, chronic and severe treatment resistant depression, PTSD, and a survivor of years of childhood abuse as well as the survivor of the suicide of a parent. I found this site rather by accident in researching Fibro. Not having a self-pity fest rather letting others know we have been through seeming insurmountable odds and we are still trying to help one another. I have adult children close by. Rarely see them and thankful I am not a burden on them...2 grandchildren that are a joy and hope for the future.

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Welcome @cbrackle. You will find compassionate listeners here who will share their learning with you. I will respond more layer.
GailB

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The chronic, extreme pain is wearing me down..Can't change it, can't fix it. Such a noisy world we live in!

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The pain is so severe today. Can only do the best I can to ride it out. Doctor in the morning. Dubious as to any answers. Very discouraged and so alone in all of this struggle. Sorry for others adrift on the chronic pain boat. Has to be some kind of answer-surely there must be. Crying surely does not help.

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@parus

The pain is so severe today. Can only do the best I can to ride it out. Doctor in the morning. Dubious as to any answers. Very discouraged and so alone in all of this struggle. Sorry for others adrift on the chronic pain boat. Has to be some kind of answer-surely there must be. Crying surely does not help.

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@parus - pain is unfair and indiscriminate, and for some, it never seems to stop. Relief comes to some extent from time to time. It's kind of nice to hear from someone once in awhile who finds resolution to their pain. I know that having a spinal cord stimulator implant gave me a lot of relief, but it's still not a 100% answer. When I get discouraged, I can remember how I felt before the implant. I can also read posts here and realize how fortunate I am to be as healthy as I am. In a perfect world, there would be a cure for every disease, a pill for every pain, immediate access to competent care, instant diagnoses (correct ones), and no stress. The only place I can think of that comes close to that ideal is heaven, and living there is always preceded by death. But at least there is that to look forward to. It's the only thing that gives me hope when I feel hopeless.

I often wonder what gives hope and a reason to keep going to others with chronic pain. Maybe some who read this will share what helps them.

Jim

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@IndianaScott

Hello @parus Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and I found your post interesting.

I do have chronic pain (knees, carpel tunnel, and lower back), I do fight loneliness as I just lost my wife to brain cancer, but refuse to call myself 'old' yet! 🙂

I believe chronic conditions can be the cause of many feelings of loneliness as well as isolating, which can also cause feelings of loneliness.

I fight my loneliness through reading as it also can take my mind off my pain. It also gives me topics I can then learn more about, e-chat with people about, etc.

I also spend some time writing, but that is more of a solitary pursuit for me, but I can really lose myself in it.

I also try and spend some time each day attempting to reconnect with someone from my earlier days. I've had mixed results with this, but when it works, it's been gratifying for both parties.

What have you tried?

Peace & Strength

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Meditation and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy have helped me. I too feel lonely,disengaged and frustrated due to chronic pain. I have been trying to get back to work and it is difficult at 65 with 3 years missing due to achalesia and chronic pain. I am going to see if I can do part time work. Had to reschedule my interview Monday. Too sick and only 4 hours sleep
It is viscous cucle
My ideal would be something from home but can't find anything.Try something to keep you mpving- walk or yoga....
Trying to hold out hope I can make.it back to pronect management in construction and development.

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@IndianaScott

Hello @parus Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and I found your post interesting.

I do have chronic pain (knees, carpel tunnel, and lower back), I do fight loneliness as I just lost my wife to brain cancer, but refuse to call myself 'old' yet! 🙂

I believe chronic conditions can be the cause of many feelings of loneliness as well as isolating, which can also cause feelings of loneliness.

I fight my loneliness through reading as it also can take my mind off my pain. It also gives me topics I can then learn more about, e-chat with people about, etc.

I also spend some time writing, but that is more of a solitary pursuit for me, but I can really lose myself in it.

I also try and spend some time each day attempting to reconnect with someone from my earlier days. I've had mixed results with this, but when it works, it's been gratifying for both parties.

What have you tried?

Peace & Strength

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I am repeating a response I did further down
It was really meant as a response to your situation. I try to do things with friends unfortunately most of them are not close.and work. My wife also works full.time and Meditation and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy have helped me. I too feel lonely,disengaged and frustrated due to chronic pain. I have been trying to get back to work and it is difficult at 65 with 3 years missing due to achalesia and chronic pain. I am going to see if I can do part time work. Had to reschedule my interview Monday. Too sick and only 4 hours sleep
It is viscous cucle
My ideal would be something from home but can't find anything.Try something to keep you moving- walk or yoga....
Trying to hold out hope I can make it back to project management in construction and development.

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@paracat

I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to ... it's just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it's rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a 'glass is half full,' optimistic person. I don't know where she went, but she's gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you're not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.

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Wonderful words of wisdom

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To whomever-there is nothing more debilitating that being nothing more than a burden on society. I see myself as a useless piece of crap. Had an appointment w/ PCP this morning-a total disaster and it was not even my fault. Computers/keyboards failing. All of the noise sent me into PTSD. Final outcome-BP through the roof and being prescribed a BP med. Thank you technology for what you have done to my psyche. If I were a horse I would have been shot long ago. Yes, I am in a horrid place!!! Have to take another inappropriate med or be w/o a PCP. No need trying to explain or I will be locked up in a loony bin and forced to take poison.
So sorry. I am so discouraged and feeling so all alone. Oh please God, I can take no more of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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@parus I’m praying for you right now.

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Parus, I feel so badly for you and wish I could help in some way, other than sending prayer and healing and loving "vibes." Just being in such pain can cause high BP. I hope the side effects of the new med are minimal. I've been fighting my doctors about the same thing - tried taking the BP med, but it made me lightheaded and dizzy so I stopped. I will try another that a friend takes which doesn't have the side effects. I don't understand why the doctors can't find something to lessen your pain. No one should have to live with that. Do you see a pain management doctor? Mine has helped my pain, although I can no longer do any of the things I used to. Being unproductive is depressing, but I try to remember all of the things I was able to do until 8 years ago. I hope you stop feeling like a burden to society, and useless. I'm sure you have accomplished a lot in your life. This is just a period in your life. I wish I could find the words. You are talented and your artwork is beautiful. My pain doctor has prescribed the dreaded opiods, but I know when I take one, the pain will lessen. I take them as prescribed, no more. I hope you see a pain doctor as well since it sounds as though you need relief from your pain. I don't know your situation, but hope that you feel better mentally and physically soon. Sending you hope "vibes" as well. Hugs.

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