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Parus
@parus

Posts: 169
Joined: Jul 14, 2017

Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness

Posted by @parus, Mon, Jul 17 2:11pm

Anyone else in the same boat?

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Catgic
@catgic

Posts: 28
Joined: Sep 23, 2011
Posted by @catgic, Mon, Jul 17 2:38pm

Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?

Old? I sign up to that…with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.


Parus
@parus

Posts: 169
Joined: Jul 14, 2017
Posted by @parus, Mon, Jul 17 3:06pm

I will not deny I am vintage…definitely not wine. Chronic pain is a demon and one will get no help other than the helps one provides for self. I am far lonelier in a crowd than alone…nice words from an old song and thank you kindly for your words. “Work your fingers to the Bone”, etc.

Mayhap a few more trips around the sun will be the antidote…”gang aft de glay”…Burns.


Teresa, Volunteer Mentor
@hopeful33250

Posts: 2417
Joined: Mar 28, 2016
Posted by @hopeful33250, Tue, Jul 18 7:40am

@parus I appreciate your sharing more about yourself! As you open yourself to others, you can find encouragement, support and help. Welcome! Teresa


Scott, Volunteer Mentor
@IndianaScott

Posts: 369
Joined: Oct 22, 2015
Posted by @IndianaScott, Mon, Jul 17 4:06pm

Hello @parus Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and I found your post interesting.

I do have chronic pain (knees, carpel tunnel, and lower back), I do fight loneliness as I just lost my wife to brain cancer, but refuse to call myself ‘old’ yet! 🙂

I believe chronic conditions can be the cause of many feelings of loneliness as well as isolating, which can also cause feelings of loneliness.

I fight my loneliness through reading as it also can take my mind off my pain. It also gives me topics I can then learn more about, e-chat with people about, etc.

I also spend some time writing, but that is more of a solitary pursuit for me, but I can really lose myself in it.

I also try and spend some time each day attempting to reconnect with someone from my earlier days. I’ve had mixed results with this, but when it works, it’s been gratifying for both parties.

What have you tried?

Peace & Strength


Parus
@parus

Posts: 169
Joined: Jul 14, 2017
Posted by @parus, Tue, Jul 18 10:11am

@IndianaScott Thank you for your kind words…I am a solitary person and like writing and playing with my paint brushes and pencils. I at one time read a lot and now find I am not so interested in reading-mayhap, I have read so much in my life that finding some thing new and/or interesting…meh. Not much of a people person as it drains me to be around others…

So, just how is it you mentor??? By no means a snide question.


Scott, Volunteer Mentor
@IndianaScott

Posts: 369
Joined: Oct 22, 2015
Posted by @IndianaScott, Tue, Jul 18 10:54am

Hi again @parus First I’ll say I enjoyed seeing your artwork! I appreciate you attaching it. I have no artistic ability, which leads me to enjoy seeing what others can accomplish in that area of life. Personally my favorites have been the works of Van Gough (sp?) and Monet. One of my favorite books as a result was ‘Letters to Theo’ from Vincent and his brother.

No need to even think your question was snide. I didn’t take it that way at all. The Mentors on Connect are some of the volunteers who are committed to helping Mayo with their efforts to reach out into the communities. I found Connect while I was incredibly isolated by the caregiving demands of my wife’s war with brain cancer. I was her caregiver for 14+ years and the last five literally 24/7/365 after I lost my dream job to a new boss who didn’t want an employee who ‘had something other than his job on his mind’. Connect allowed me to interact with folks during what was a time of very erratic availability on my part. Plus my wife received wonderful neuro-oncological care by a truly amazing doctor there.

My outreach to old friends is 90% electronic or on the phone. I have only connected face-to-face with two and both of them I felt a huge need to thank for sticking with me during the darkest days of my depression over my wife’s disease and ultimate loss of her.

I, too, have been a voracious reader for years. I came late to my love of reading. In 4th grade my teacher told me what I liked to tead (the Tom Swift series) wasn’t ‘real’ reading in front of the class. I didn’t pick up a book for enjoymet reading until I was a junior in college! I still remember it was’Mila 18′ by Leon Uris. I saw it at a junk sale for a dime and recalled my folks had spoken of one of his books so I plunked down my dime and was greatly rewarded. As a result I am on a few notification lists for when a favorite author has a new release coming. I also decided to take up a new hobby so that opened up new reading and learning opportunities as well. I also joined Instagram and I try and take one interesting photo a day. I just use my phone and most of my photos are right in my home/yard.

Sorry for the long winded response 🙂

Maybe we could exchange favorite authors or type of book? Who do you especially like?

Peace & Strength


danybegood1
@danybegood1

Posts: 107
Joined: Feb 22, 2017
Posted by @danybegood1, Thu, Aug 31 12:53pm

@parus, absolutely beautiful…


gracea
@gracea

Posts: 12
Joined: Jul 17, 2017
Posted by @gracea, Fri, Sep 15 9:26am

Great! I’m in the same situation but I keep busy with my dog or reading and many other things. Keep occupied the pain is there and won’t go away. I have lower back pain and RA.


Catgic
@catgic

Posts: 28
Joined: Sep 23, 2011
Posted by @catgic, Mon, Jul 17 4:54pm

@parus – As my old friend Columbo used to say…”er-r-r…just one more thing.”

I see that you came aboard Mayo Connect on Bastille Day 2017. Coincidence or not, maybe it is time for you to consider “Throwing Open Your Personal Prison Gates” un peu. Your Mayo Connect Profile is blank. What is up with that? You can, without loosing your anonymity, tell folks something about yourself in 25-words more or less…

Hope to see you on the flip side.


Parus
@parus

Posts: 169
Joined: Jul 14, 2017
Posted by @parus, Tue, Jul 18 10:13am

@catgic Three words…”I am me”.


Catgic
@catgic

Posts: 28
Joined: Sep 23, 2011
Posted by @catgic, Tue, Jul 18 11:35am

@parus – Roger that…Worry not, I shall leave you alone in the future.


Jim, Volunteer Mentor
@jimhd

Posts: 614
Joined: Aug 10, 2016
Posted by @jimhd, Fri, Sep 15 3:25pm

@parus My 3 – So am I.


paracat
@paracat

Posts: 9
Joined: Nov 26, 2016
Posted by @paracat, Fri, Jul 21 11:34am

I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to … it’s just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it’s rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a ‘glass is half full,’ optimistic person. I don’t know where she went, but she’s gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you’re not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.


Lisa Lucier, Connect Moderator
@lisalucier

Posts: 230
Joined: May 10, 2017
Posted by @lisalucier, Wed, Aug 16 10:46pm

HI, @paracat–just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing. How are the pain and feeling kind of down lately?


jo54
@jo54

Posts: 9
Joined: Aug 02, 2017
Posted by @jo54, 5 days ago

I am an 81 year old widow in pain 24/7. Thanks to my children I have a roof over my head. I didn’t plan it this way but it is what I have to work with. After a cervical and hip replacement and broken elbow I have a lot of metal. I can walk and drive. I can read and I can write. I have faith that there is a purpose and reason I’m alive. Every morning I thank God for a new day. I am blessed. Consider what you have and find joy in it. God bless.

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