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Parus
@parus

Posts: 1292
Joined: Jul 14, 2017

Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness

Posted by @parus, Jul 17, 2017

Anyone else in the same boat?

REPLY

Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?

Old? I sign up to that…with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.

I will not deny I am vintage…definitely not wine. Chronic pain is a demon and one will get no help other than the helps one provides for self. I am far lonelier in a crowd than alone…nice words from an old song and thank you kindly for your words. “Work your fingers to the Bone”, etc.

Mayhap a few more trips around the sun will be the antidote…”gang aft de glay”…Burns.

Hello @parus Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and I found your post interesting.

I do have chronic pain (knees, carpel tunnel, and lower back), I do fight loneliness as I just lost my wife to brain cancer, but refuse to call myself ‘old’ yet! 🙂

I believe chronic conditions can be the cause of many feelings of loneliness as well as isolating, which can also cause feelings of loneliness.

I fight my loneliness through reading as it also can take my mind off my pain. It also gives me topics I can then learn more about, e-chat with people about, etc.

I also spend some time writing, but that is more of a solitary pursuit for me, but I can really lose myself in it.

I also try and spend some time each day attempting to reconnect with someone from my earlier days. I’ve had mixed results with this, but when it works, it’s been gratifying for both parties.

What have you tried?

Peace & Strength

@parus – As my old friend Columbo used to say…”er-r-r…just one more thing.”

I see that you came aboard Mayo Connect on Bastille Day 2017. Coincidence or not, maybe it is time for you to consider “Throwing Open Your Personal Prison Gates” un peu. Your Mayo Connect Profile is blank. What is up with that? You can, without loosing your anonymity, tell folks something about yourself in 25-words more or less…

Hope to see you on the flip side.

@parus

I will not deny I am vintage…definitely not wine. Chronic pain is a demon and one will get no help other than the helps one provides for self. I am far lonelier in a crowd than alone…nice words from an old song and thank you kindly for your words. “Work your fingers to the Bone”, etc.

Mayhap a few more trips around the sun will be the antidote…”gang aft de glay”…Burns.

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@parus I appreciate your sharing more about yourself! As you open yourself to others, you can find encouragement, support and help. Welcome! Teresa

@IndianaScott

Hello @parus Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and I found your post interesting.

I do have chronic pain (knees, carpel tunnel, and lower back), I do fight loneliness as I just lost my wife to brain cancer, but refuse to call myself ‘old’ yet! 🙂

I believe chronic conditions can be the cause of many feelings of loneliness as well as isolating, which can also cause feelings of loneliness.

I fight my loneliness through reading as it also can take my mind off my pain. It also gives me topics I can then learn more about, e-chat with people about, etc.

I also spend some time writing, but that is more of a solitary pursuit for me, but I can really lose myself in it.

I also try and spend some time each day attempting to reconnect with someone from my earlier days. I’ve had mixed results with this, but when it works, it’s been gratifying for both parties.

What have you tried?

Peace & Strength

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@IndianaScott Thank you for your kind words…I am a solitary person and like writing and playing with my paint brushes and pencils. I at one time read a lot and now find I am not so interested in reading-mayhap, I have read so much in my life that finding some thing new and/or interesting…meh. Not much of a people person as it drains me to be around others…

So, just how is it you mentor??? By no means a snide question.

Wandering Thoughts

@catgic

@parus – As my old friend Columbo used to say…”er-r-r…just one more thing.”

I see that you came aboard Mayo Connect on Bastille Day 2017. Coincidence or not, maybe it is time for you to consider “Throwing Open Your Personal Prison Gates” un peu. Your Mayo Connect Profile is blank. What is up with that? You can, without loosing your anonymity, tell folks something about yourself in 25-words more or less…

Hope to see you on the flip side.

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@catgic Three words…”I am me”.

@IndianaScott

Hello @parus Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and I found your post interesting.

I do have chronic pain (knees, carpel tunnel, and lower back), I do fight loneliness as I just lost my wife to brain cancer, but refuse to call myself ‘old’ yet! 🙂

I believe chronic conditions can be the cause of many feelings of loneliness as well as isolating, which can also cause feelings of loneliness.

I fight my loneliness through reading as it also can take my mind off my pain. It also gives me topics I can then learn more about, e-chat with people about, etc.

I also spend some time writing, but that is more of a solitary pursuit for me, but I can really lose myself in it.

I also try and spend some time each day attempting to reconnect with someone from my earlier days. I’ve had mixed results with this, but when it works, it’s been gratifying for both parties.

What have you tried?

Peace & Strength

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Hi again @parus First I’ll say I enjoyed seeing your artwork! I appreciate you attaching it. I have no artistic ability, which leads me to enjoy seeing what others can accomplish in that area of life. Personally my favorites have been the works of Van Gough (sp?) and Monet. One of my favorite books as a result was ‘Letters to Theo’ from Vincent and his brother.

No need to even think your question was snide. I didn’t take it that way at all. The Mentors on Connect are some of the volunteers who are committed to helping Mayo with their efforts to reach out into the communities. I found Connect while I was incredibly isolated by the caregiving demands of my wife’s war with brain cancer. I was her caregiver for 14+ years and the last five literally 24/7/365 after I lost my dream job to a new boss who didn’t want an employee who ‘had something other than his job on his mind’. Connect allowed me to interact with folks during what was a time of very erratic availability on my part. Plus my wife received wonderful neuro-oncological care by a truly amazing doctor there.

My outreach to old friends is 90% electronic or on the phone. I have only connected face-to-face with two and both of them I felt a huge need to thank for sticking with me during the darkest days of my depression over my wife’s disease and ultimate loss of her.

I, too, have been a voracious reader for years. I came late to my love of reading. In 4th grade my teacher told me what I liked to tead (the Tom Swift series) wasn’t ‘real’ reading in front of the class. I didn’t pick up a book for enjoymet reading until I was a junior in college! I still remember it was’Mila 18′ by Leon Uris. I saw it at a junk sale for a dime and recalled my folks had spoken of one of his books so I plunked down my dime and was greatly rewarded. As a result I am on a few notification lists for when a favorite author has a new release coming. I also decided to take up a new hobby so that opened up new reading and learning opportunities as well. I also joined Instagram and I try and take one interesting photo a day. I just use my phone and most of my photos are right in my home/yard.

Sorry for the long winded response 🙂

Maybe we could exchange favorite authors or type of book? Who do you especially like?

Peace & Strength

@catgic

@parus – As my old friend Columbo used to say…”er-r-r…just one more thing.”

I see that you came aboard Mayo Connect on Bastille Day 2017. Coincidence or not, maybe it is time for you to consider “Throwing Open Your Personal Prison Gates” un peu. Your Mayo Connect Profile is blank. What is up with that? You can, without loosing your anonymity, tell folks something about yourself in 25-words more or less…

Hope to see you on the flip side.

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@parus – Roger that…Worry not, I shall leave you alone in the future.

I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to … it’s just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it’s rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a ‘glass is half full,’ optimistic person. I don’t know where she went, but she’s gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you’re not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.

@paracat so we will sit in the same boat and float together…I find pleasure in the colorful faces in my secret garden during the warm months.

Day Lily with Friends

Throwing open those personal prison gates…may be positive for some. Far too many predators in the real world.

@paracat

I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to … it’s just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it’s rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a ‘glass is half full,’ optimistic person. I don’t know where she went, but she’s gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you’re not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.

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HI, @paracat–just wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing. How are the pain and feeling kind of down lately?

Yes, today seems to be especially a tough one. Feeling poorly, buy also sad. Hope your days have gottren brighter. Hope pain has left you.

@nanaof4

Yes, today seems to be especially a tough one. Feeling poorly, buy also sad. Hope your days have gottren brighter. Hope pain has left you.

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New here, so please bear with me as i learn the ropes. So many of us are probably in same boat or very close. I enjoy reading your post. My past time is reading and music. Time for me to slow in this age. Mind is good, just would like to have more energy. Nice to meet and see your post. Thank you. Gods blessing to each.

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