My frustration is off the charts

@shmerdloff

Yes. "Higher, and higher and higher." Jackie Wilson

When we are able to give of ourselves, our time, our blood sweat and tears, "why, it's almost like bein' in love." Frederick Loewe and Alan Jay Lerner.

@bobcmcc
Elizabeth Kubler Ross:
denial, argument, anger, depression, acceptance (resigned)
Stages of dealing with illness, or a bad situation.

My wife was diagnosed summer of 22. She had been showing some signs of 'foggy brain' for a couple of years...
Now somewhere in stage 6 (of 7). I have found several books that were helpful.
"Loving Someone Who Has Dementia" is the latest - it is directed to us a caregivers and has been a big help.
"Still Alice" is informative, and emotional.
"Dancing with Dementia" was written by a person with Frontal Temporal Dementia - hard to believe, but brings the perspective from our loved one's viewpoint.
My heart goes out to all caregivers and their loved ones - I can not imagine how it feels to see your SELF fading away physically, spiritually and cognitively...

@mariefor, getting a break is really important for your own recovery. Is there no adult day care or respite care in your area?

All of this is so familiar , so please know that you are not alone. My advice is to keep using this group- it helps me so much.
Yesterday I was tempted to get in the car, scream, and drive away.
Today I am reminded of what my love should be like as a caregiving spouse and I am focusing on remembering the good times we had together when we were young.
God bless you today and give you strength.

Sorry you are dealing with this. I, too, have a similar situation; it is maddening.

No one wants to accept their decline in cognitive abilities. They are angry, and we would be too. And anger can be a cover emotion for other emotions: fear, sadness, frustration, feeling helpless and so forth. I found having a great therapist to work with helpful, maybe something to consider (?) and many are virtual now rather than having to go face to face (easier/faster). Just having a safe place to vent and offload some of the emotional trauma of this (caring for a spouse with cognitive decline) is helpful. Friends and family/adult kids, only want to hear so much of this.

I also found choosing not to point out to my other half their confusion or processing failures was best. What good is it to point it out? They cannot change it, and it will just get worse over time. I found trying to convince mine that he had MCI was a path to complete resistance. Whether it is denial or perhaps anosognosia -- unlike denial, which is a psychological defense mechanism, anosognosia is entirely neurological. The patient genuinely believes they are completely fine and capable, meaning they cannot process or recognize their illness. -- trying to convince them of their impairment does not work.

Getting help for yourself (perhaps therapy, planned outings, in-house help) and working on a plan for what is next (such as legal preparation to protect assets if he needs nursing home/memory care at some point) is what you can control. Trying to control them or this condition is not doable.

You are not alone. Many are on this journey, which none of us wanted to go on. Best wishes, stay strong.

Been hacked. No full e mail availabity😩

I am experiencing this in spades-especially in the last week. I wish I could get him out of the house more but he just reads and sleeps . He plays golf mostly once a week. I live for that day of the week. He thinks nothing is wrong with him. He thinks it is me. I hear him coming inside so I have to go. He is a bit paranoid.

@hikingcaver wrote, "I can not imagine how it feels to see your SELF fading away physically, spiritually and cognitively..."

I watched Deb do Sudoku for years, so I think she knew something was going on. And it didn't bother her that she didn't know the day of the week. My 'theory' is the experience is more like a very young child not understanding how life works. And like a 2-year old, can become very frustrated. When its hard to understand your thoughts it is exhausting so they sleep alot . I hope I'm right.

I agree, Donna finds great joy in many 'small' things now, like watching the chipmunks run back and forth. She does feel bad if I let her see my pain an any way...
Thank you