My husband cannot quit sorting through and moving his personal things.

My wife is in year ??? 8 or 9 with MCI diagnosis and for the past couple of years she rearranges the kitchen cabinets, drawers and pantry and refrigerator, often if I'm gone for a few hours. I do all the shopping and meal preparation and I often cannot find what I need, and of course she has no memory of where she put things. There is no logic to how she rearranges, other than sometimes by shape, or color or size. And she creates "space" by putting things in the very back of the pantry compartmenst (where I cannot see them without moving things in front of). She rearrange all my toiletries and personal items below my bathroom sink (not a shared area---she has her own drawers and undersink space). She rearranges what she has already rearranaged sometimes and when confronted, has no memory or denies doing it.

@wctdoc1943 Thank you for sharing. I normally handle it pretty well, but it’s been a rough week and it’s only Tuesday😳

My husband spends hour on the couch sorting out envelopes. Does anyone ewkate?

Small mercies that it’s just his personal things, and only in the bedroom and ensuite in the house. (Plus other stuff in the outside storage area and barn).

I wonder if you could make his closet and drawers dedicated rummage areas full of his stuff which he can freely rummage through? Put his real belongings you need for him somewhere else in the house? That way you can access quickly what he needs and you can then rearrange his rummaging areas (in no particular order, just expanding the area back) so he can rummage again

Perhaps you can find a way of also doing that in the storage area and barn.

I suspect he doesn’t remember what’s there and just needs to rummage. There seem to be various reasons for this behaviour including paranoia as well as feeling productive and in control.

My father hasn’t got to this stage yet but we don’t try to reason with him but work with and around what he does.

It keeps him happy while limiting what we need to do! ❤️‍🩹

I think I could handle the envelope sorting a lot better than his going through everything in his closet and drawers. At least our bedroom wouldn’t look like someone’s moving out…😊

@isadora2021 I have thought of doing that…moving his clothes he wears regularly into another room so I would at least know where they are. He will not put anything in his personal drawers. If I put anything back in them he will take it out as soon as he discovers it. He wants to store everything in his covered truck bed, but I have the keys and won’t allow it. So everything just stays stacked and pushed into corners, and under the bed…🙄

That sounds very difficult to deal with. My husband doesn’t do that, but he does like to have some belongings out and within eyesight, particularly any medications that he is using. I am assuming that he feels more comfortable with that because he is concerned he will forget to take a medication, to wear an article of clothing or to follow-up on a to do.

Hi! This behavior is very normal and yes, it makes a lot more work for the caregiver. My sweet hubby did the exact same thing, to include packing clothes as if a deployment was imminent. Eventually, he began to go into my drawers, taking out clothes and sometimes trying them on or packing them. He then began going into my closet, and he was taking all of the clothes off of the hangers and sometimes would emerge with my clothes on! ( He has lost over 75lbs and is very thin.) I bought a small, inexpensive storage drawer, placed it on the floor of my closet and took my clothes out of the dresser and put them in it. I also bought a good quality combination door knob for the closet. These two things alone have saved my sanity many times.
A side bonus of the combination lock is that we have a place to securely place valuables. Currently we have four around the clock caregivers and two part time ones. They are all honest and amazing. However, before them, we had what we thought were dependable caregivers but I had a pair of expensive earrings that were never found, and they had huge sentimental value. ( My hubby gave them to me...they were emeralds - his birthstone. Since he did not buy expensive things I am surprised he survived the purchase!) Now, I don't have to worry about the other valuables as I place them in the closet and enjoy the combination lock.
As he began to move furniture, etc. , I simply moved items to a storage room or another bedroom with a lock. As for the rest of the house, I am years behind in re-organizing since I took care of him alone for about 6 years. One day, there will be time- but for now, I am choosing to share in his journey for as long as God allows and to heck with the cluttered areas.
Today, however, I wish for those times where he was creating chaos, walking, feeding/dressing himself and wish I had laughed about them a bit more as his health greatly changed quickly. Last Saturday, he was slow jogging around our back yard and Monday night, as the caregiver and I were cleaning him, something happened and he could no longer walk. She had to literally carry/drag him to the bed. It was soon discovered that he had a severe UTI. He has not walked since Monday night (9 days ago at this count), and I have been told he may never regain what he has lost. I realize this is another sign of decline and even though he is very different...this is the man I have always loved and the love is still as strong as ever. It is my desire to stay strong and determined, to provide the best care until the end and to encourage him as much as possible.
I would suggest, if it is possible, that you think about hiring someone, even if it is only a few hours a day to follow him around and redirect or pick up after him. It might take a few people before you find the right one, but as he declines, he will be familiar with this caregiver. If you can find the "almost perfect person" now, it will make the transition to more hours easier. I am hoping things settled down a bit for you - no one can ever tell how their life will change when there is a type of dementia diagnosis.....we simply do the best we can each day, hope for some rest at night, and try again the next day. Love and hugs to all....

labrown@labrown,
My wife is in year3 post diagnosis. We spend a lot of time looking for things she has hidden to keep them "safe" from the many "people" who live with us, even groceries so they won't steal them...or her purse, hats, etc. However, whe I cook dinner, she plans a plate for them. I became a little concerned when she has started listening to their advice over mine on occasion, so I must emphasize my authority over theirs. I am 24/7 sole caregiver, but I can see a future problem as I transition to in home helpers.
Stay vigilant.

@labrown
Do you want to bother installing locks on doors you don't want him to open?