Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

I took the following steps when I noticed things "weren't right" with my DH and it lead to his MCI diagnosis. Maybe this could be helpful to others:

*I started to keep of log of issues that I saw; all those little things that were odd, not right, not his usual self. I used my Notes app on my iPhone and included the date and a description of what happened. Once I saw from my own notes that there were some patterns and it wasn't just me thinking weirdly, we went to the neurologist, thank goodness. Those notes were also helpful to the neurologist and neuro-psychologist.

*Once we got the MCI diagnosis, I had a private conversation with our financial planner to explain the situation and asked that absolutely no transactions be conducted unless we both had approved it. He also suggested that I fill out a form that would allow me to do certain future account transfers more easily once DH wasn't capable.

*I had to accept the fact that I have to go to every doctor's appointment with him; the audiologist for his hearing aids, the cardiologist, the orthopedist, the primary care physician, etc. I take notes and (I'm a nerd) I keep a spreadsheet of all the different medical issues because I can't remember all of it myself. DH doesn't write anything down and doesn't remember important information so it is my job to understand everything now. He can still go to the dentist and optometrist himself though. My days are often filled with just his doctor appointments.

Appreciate everyone's contributions in this forum. It is so comforting to know we are not alone as we walk these very very difficult paths.

@jillemckeon
I’ve done same. One time at a doctor appt he showed his “mean” side with the doctor’s
Student. I waz i. Tears- actually crying hard. The dr walked in and asked what was going on. To cut to the chase the dr told him he should take meds ( i ageeed) . Otherwise he
May have to place him in a facility for my sake. That’s how we got him to take meds.

I took the following steps when I noticed things "weren't right" with my DH and it lead to his MCI diagnosis. Maybe this could be helpful to others:

*I started to keep of log of issues that I saw; all those little things that were odd, not right, not his usual self. I used my Notes app on my iPhone and included the date and a description of what happened. Once I saw from my own notes that there were some patterns and it wasn't just me thinking weirdly, we went to the neurologist, thank goodness. Those notes were also helpful to the neurologist and neuro-psychologist.

*Once we got the MCI diagnosis, I had a private conversation with our financial planner to explain the situation and asked that absolutely no transactions be conducted unless we both had approved it. He also suggested that I fill out a form that would allow me to do certain future account transfers more easily once DH wasn't capable.

*I had to accept the fact that I have to go to every doctor's appointment with him; the audiologist for his hearing aids, the cardiologist, the orthopedist, the primary care physician, etc. I take notes and (I'm a nerd) I keep a spreadsheet of all the different medical issues because I can't remember all of it myself. DH doesn't write anything down and doesn't remember important information so it is my job to understand everything now. He can still go to the dentist and optometrist himself though. My days are often filled with just his doctor appointments.

Appreciate everyone's contributions in this forum. It is so comforting to know we are not alone as we walk these very very difficult paths.

@jillemckeon I sort of did the same thing, documenting odd behaviors, but it had not yet dawned on me that there was any sort of pattern, or that he was overall different I thought it was because he retired and I was around him too much. I would constantly ask google “if a person says this or that” or “if a person does this or that” and then when the answer came back, there would be extended info about it and I would click on the square with the arrow and either send it directly to the printer or to my own email to look into further. I have also used a couple of in phone journaling sites. This went back as far as early ‘21 and he was diagnosed in December’24!! So many things that scream dementia!! But I still didn’t add it up in a timely manner.
I go to appointments with him, like you, but luckily not as many.
We have our financial & legal ducks in a row. Financially he is still pretty sensible, but sometimes I wonder if I’m naive about his decisions because they don’t seem far fetched. (But sometimes they do…). 🤔
Aurgh!!!
Hang in there, we’re here and we hear you.

OMGosh! Sounds just like me. Married 53 years to a needy husband who now has MCI and is low key somedays and all over the place other days. I'm trying to find a therapist for myself to deal with the emotional stress but meanwhile, my daily devotionals and Abide meditations are really helping. Having huge meltdowns are not good for my own health. I've made the commitment AGAIN to try to be kind and not say hurtful words which I end up feeling guilty about later. It's hard because I'm half Italian and have a temper. It's not worth the stress at my age to yell at someone who can't understand how or why he upset me anyways. I'm back to prayer which is the only place I am able to find comfort and peace. This helps me stand back and be a little more objective. AI answers on the internet are helpful too when asking about dealing with a husband with MCI. I'm here if you need someone to share your feelings with. I get it and it ain't fun.

Yes I can very much relate to your feelings.

I am just starting on this journey with my husband.
We have no close family to support us, only 1-2 friends who understand.
I am already running out of patience, we have an argument and both of us upset when trying to accomplish anything on the computer.
I am great full for online groups for support.
The future frightens me.