Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

@colleenyoung Yes my husband has early MCI. I can see the memory getting worse over time. He has only been diagnosed for a little over a year, but I suspect it was already starting earlier. It can get very frustrating. sometimes I lose my patience , other times I am ok. He still drives and does errands etc. but he will call from grocery store because he can't remember 1 of the 3 items he was supposed to get.
It can all make you feel out of control and lonely.
How are you doing?

@rutgersmom123 Yes, I get it - especially the "lonely" part. I should have paid more attention to those wedding vows 53 years ago!! In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer - O my gosh, what was I thinking????.... I too am seeking out support groups & counseling while taking care of EVERYTHING else. They say this cognitive decline stuff is like a slow goodbye, a death and so we go through those phases of loss while the person is still alive physically. I am barely at the "acceptance" phase now and thankful that the "denial" and "angry" phase are behind me. Bless all of us who are dealing with this very sad disease. 🙏

@oneputt I too have been married over 50 years. A lifetime for sure. I wish you the best over this holiday season. Take care of yourself too!

@rutgersmom123 Thank you for the reminder 💕🙏

Write everything down for him & send a list...just hope he remembers where the list is. As it progresses, this horrific disease..it gets worse. I had a key chain made with his name addresses & my cell #. It helped him alot. My advice at this point is " pick your battles ". Its better for your peace of mind & health.

I'm dealing every day and trying to stay as positive as I can. I'm haven't gone through anger or grieving over my husband's MCI, but I'm very anxious about the unknown, fear of what's to come and when. I'm also trying to decide "our next move" since we're in a rental house, up there in age, and trying to figure out do I position "us" someplace closer to where one of his son's live, although, their life is so busy, I don't think they would have time to factor us in. My own son (from another marriage) is in Texas; that's not a great alternative either, as he's just as busy as my stepson dealing with his job and the time commitment with athletic kids in the family. I ask God every day to give me the courage and clarity to know what to do and when.
Happy Easter to every caregiver and their loved one.

I empathize with all of you. I’m a combination of lonely, bored, exhausted and sad. I have to force my husband to go out other than to the grocery store or library. I miss my life and the person I used to be. But…we are getting ready to move out of our house into a large apartment. I think it will be easier for me once we do that. I will be able to focus on getting the help I need to take care of myself at the same time spend quality time with my husband.

@kjc48
My lawyer mentioned selecting where you want to live may be affected by how much their state covers for Medicare. Apparently coverage isn't the same state to state, so you may want to factor that into your decision. Also, availability of specialty medical professionals that can work with your husband (lack of medical providers is an issue in my small town, so we will need to move to a bigger city, one that has the providers he needs).
If you're looking at Continuing Care Retirement Communities, check which ones are accredited, that will also narrow your search.
Good luck and all the best. 🐣

@judimahoney Wow you are so helpful. There is so much to consider, I'm overwhelmed by it all. And I'm dealing with diverticulitis, and I just can't get myself straightened out. Thank you for your input, I go to the attorney next week. Appreciate your share this morning.

@kjc48 Our one daughter lives in San Diego and the other in St Petersburg so at the opposite sides of the earth as far as we are concerned. We all talked about moving to a place where we could all be together and also enjoy what the location offers which sounded great at the first, but then as I thought about it more I determined that may not be the best solution. If we all move to a location we can all be together, we become isolated from our friends, and if we stay where we are, we are far away from our girls. We had to determine what choice would be healthier for my wife. Neither choice is ideal, but we have decided staying around friends is more beneficial for her. Just thought I would share another perspective.