What do you do when you just want to cry?

i am a caregiver for a husband with terminal RCC. He is amazing. Told that it would be 3 to 6 months from diagnosis without intervention he opted for intervention. On 2 Clinical Trial Drugs. which like any drug comes with consequences. 1st trial blew up his Thyroid. On hormones now. 2nd trial blew up his pancreas making him a type 1 Diabetic. The diabetes is worst than the cancer. Insulin 5 to 7 times a day. checking blood sugar levels every few hours. Regimented meals. Reacting to extreme high and extreme lows that can put him into a coma within hours. I'm 78 years old and he is 66. Yes ladies I robbed the cradle. We have been married now for 40 years. Crying is not an option. We are too busy trying to come up with ways to entertain ourselves that does not involve casinos or on line gambling. We take short walks. Write down what we see. Have 1 game of Rummy after lunch everyday. Crazy dance in the kitchen for 2 minutes and walk away laughing. The cancer will take him, but it won't take away our happiness. Smile in the moment.

What do I do when I just want to cry? The shower is always a good option. However, I find if I am heading for a full on melt down, I go into the bush and talk with the trees. They're good listeners. I'll hug the occasional tree, route around in my pockets for a Kleenex and let the wailing begin. Now here's something funny for you. I came across another lady on the trail doing the exact same thing. We hugged. Then laughed. Then went on our way feeling refreshed. I have never seen her again and that was 2 years ago. Thank you to whoever you are. I find it hard to cry when I'm smiling. So I plaster a grin on my chin and march out into the world. Hugs to you and what you are going through. We are all in this together.

I am reading all your wonderful response. Hopefully I will get out of this ongoing funk. I don't have a good support system.

That is one reason I want that darn diagnosis because it will open up help and resources to me.

Spent today looking for a new Doc.

My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in November, chemotherapy sessions began Christmas Eve. It seems like with each session, in addition to the other side effects (nausea, diarrhea, chest pain, neuropathy, etc.) increasing, the "chemo brain fog" increases as well. Sometimes he seems confused, sometimes I feel like he's gaslighting me. The stress from that is worse than helping him deal with the other side effects. He'll have the sixth of six treatments next week, then a CT to reevaluate, then Whipple surgery. I work on understanding his frustration and occasional despair, but some days it's really hard. We will get through this, come hell or high water, but sometimes the journey is just tough. Here's to hangin' in and hangin' on. Love to all caregivers!

What was the hardest thing you ever did? Was it a hike? Or maybe that High Scool Calculus test...aaargh. life is tough. But I can tell you two are going to get through this. And spit in the eye if anyone who says different. Hugs

@kartwk keep going gf. This is a journey like none other. Not a destination. You will meet some absolutely marvelous people along the way. Greet them as friends for your journey and theirs are similar. Share the small victories and smiles.

@stevens2005
Your response was so refreshing. You are a good example for us all. And, you are keeping a sense of humor which is absolutely necessary.
Thank you.

@stevens2005 Not sure if it has been suggested to you but have you considered using one of the simpler insulin pumps with a glucose sensor to control your husband’s diabetes? . If you are not too aggressive in lowering his A1c and are content for it to be around 7-8, you can avoid extreme highs and lows. …and will not need to check his BG every few hours—you will get readings every 5 minutes from his glucose sensor and can avoid multiple insulin injections per day because his pump will bolus insulin for him. Message me if you would like some suggestions. Or talk to an Endocrinologist or Diabetes Educator in your husband’s medical practice.

@alwayda that was so sweet of you to suggest the pump. My husband is on a sensor. He is an Immunotherapy induced type 1 which causes his diabetes to be brittle. We have a diabetic Dr. And Nurse working with this because it is relatively new. Scary but a good team. Thank you. Hugs to you.

@stevens2005 Ah! Got it! Good to hear that you have it all under control! Good luck to you both! 🐸❤️