What do you do when you just want to cry?

@stevens2005

You are so right: "This is a journey like no other." We just have to embrace all our emotions like guests who come to our house.

The Guest House
Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

George's Wife

Oh how wonderful. Thank you for sharing.

@julaneg, welcome. What's your caregiving situation? How are you doing today?

@colleenyoung I am very discouraged. My spouse has been diagnosed with Dementia and he is really so mean at times. Today was better. They gave him Keppra for his seizures and finally realized that his aggresive behavior was partly due to this med. It all makes sense now. The mean, hateful and aggresivenesseems to have almost deminished. He has a Exelon patch and he is resonable, nicer and has actually been like he used to be prior to his many problems with his health. Not sure he will make another year..but I am not God. Thanks for letting me share.🫂

@christinemb, being the caregiver is really hard. It must be so hard to have patientce with the effect brain fog has on his behavior. I'm sure you remind yourself that it's the treatment and the side effects are the necessary evil. In your logical thinking, you know his behavior isn't directed at you. But it hurts and frustrates none-the-less.

You might find this related discussion helpful:
- What is brain fog like? How can I better understand as a caregiver? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/what-is-brain-fog-like-how-can-i-better-understand-as-a-caregiver/
- How are cancer caregivers staying strong and healthy?https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-are-caregivers-staying-strong-and-healthy/

How did the 6th treatment go? How are YOU doing?

@colleenyoung Thanks so much for the links to chemo brain fog discussions. I did already see those, but it was helpful to review. My post was a venting post: even though I understand as best I can, it's still difficult some days to be "understanding". And it's a bit frustrating to keep reading that the chemo side effects are different for everybody, so we can't "plan ahead". We are taking this journey together, learning more about each other, and working on keeping our attitudes positive. Thank you for taking the time and effort to respond to my "vent". It is very much appreciated. 🙂 The 6th round was rough on him, but he's better now a week later. More labs are scheduled and we wait to be scheduled for the CT and possible (probable) Whipple surgery. At least the sun is shining today!

Isn't venting great. Especially with a group like this of experienced care givers who deal with brain fog loved ones 24/7. Does it hurt? Of course. We wouldn't be human if it didn't. I can only speak on what I am dealing with. My husband's brain fog seems to come and go. When he is up and functioning on all 4 cylinders, I speak calmly to him about what his reaction to some things recent have been towards me or others. His personality changes and he becomes grumpy and swearing at everything including me. I tell him about it and what he said and how I perceived his comments. I tell him what he forgot and what I forgot. We laugh at each other. He apologizes and then I get him to write down in his journal in his own words what we talked about. The next time his attitude strikes and he forgets something and blames me, I hand him his journal. I respect his privacy and never read it. That tattered paper journal has helped calm him so many times. Why? I haven't a clue, but I hear him laughing. Sometimes he shares...most times not. This may not work for your situation. Know I am nearly 8 years into cancer treatment for him and thank God my wonderful silly man is still with me.

I still cry about the loss of my husband and it is a catharsis.
If your body wants to cry, go for it.... makes you a sensitive human.
And the world needs more of them. K

The shower cry!
Yeah, that’s me too.

I try and take it one minute at a time when things are like that.