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Alzheimers and sexual behavior: Any suggestions?

Posted by terrilynne @terrilynne, Jul 30, 2023

My hubby has Alzheimer's and has become hypersexual. He is on meds which have helped a bit. The problem is that he constantly wants to have sex and be sexual. This does not happen outside the home. He starts first thing in the morning wanting to "play around". He is constantly asking me for sex. We enjoy a healthy sex life but he doesn't remember and thinks I am denying him. He is now getting angry when I say no or later or tomorrow. I am sure others have experienced this with their loved ones. Any suggestions? I am getting desperate.

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blc1951 | @blc1951 | Feb 20 9:20am
In reply to @blc1951 "I have no suggestions for this. All I can say is you are not alone. I..." + (show)
Profile picture for blc1951 @blc1951

I have no suggestions for this. All I can say is you are not alone. I have the same exact situation, the only consolation is to know it is the disease, and we are not the bad person here.

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@blc1951 I also would like to know if the hypersexuality diminishes as the disease progresses. Has anybody lived through this long enough to know what happens?

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cyds | @cyds | Feb 21 12:05pm
In reply to @blc1951 "I have no suggestions for this. All I can say is you are not alone. I..." + (show)
Profile picture for blc1951 @blc1951

I have no suggestions for this. All I can say is you are not alone. I have the same exact situation, the only consolation is to know it is the disease, and we are not the bad person here.

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@blc1951

I’ve gotten to a point that I can give myself grace, even if DH can’t. The thing these days is to try not to tune out when he starts droning on, comparing how much he loves me to how much I love him, and I NEVER measure up. All I hear is the Charlie Brown track- wah-wah wah-wah-wah, wahhhhhh-wah-wah. We used to laugh about hearing this track when we were high, but this isn’t so funny.

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talkingbird | @talkingbird | Feb 22 4:44pm
In reply to @billiekip "I have no solution other than a paper calendar and stick-on gold stars. After an encounter,..." + (show)
Profile picture for billiekip @billiekip

I have no solution other than a paper calendar and stick-on gold stars. After an encounter, have him add the star, so you can point out to him how busy he has been all month. I do think that it is part of the unraveling of his tether; a desperate grasp at keeping connected to a spouse. I remember seeing people chasing each other around, giggling, like in a school yard but with adult gestures. This was at an ALZ facility I was visiting for my mother in law decades ago. The social filter has faded or is gone completely. Since reasoning is also on the way out the door, I'm not sure if the golden glimmer on your calendar will convince your husband that he indeed has had many romps, but you can try.

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@billiekip
I can't believe so much time has passed since my first comment. The frequency of wanting sex has gone way down but it still occurs in spurts. I have realized that , because he doesn't remember, he honestly feels a lot of time has passed. I like your idea of the star although he would have to trust that the stars are valid. I did start writing a note or drawing a star on a calendar to back me up and it worked to a large degree. He is always astonished. And then he forgets so there is no built-up resentment or even sadness.

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