Alzheimers and sexual behavior: Any suggestions?

Do men become hyper-sexual in the beginning stages of demenia?

@mikaylar, a person with dementia may experience changes in how they respond to sex, be inappropriate or aggressive, mistake a person for someone else, or behave sexually in public. It is a behavior noted in women as well as men.

I found this helpful article from the Alzheimer's Society UK.
- Dementia and challenging sexual behaviour https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/daily-living/challenging-sexual-behaviour-dementia

Challenging sexual behavior can be expressed in different ways. Are you caring for someone who is displaying new or challenging sexual behaviors?

I came to this topic looking for help, too. Sorry to say I don't have any to offer. I am asked to have sex of some nature daily, and sometimes more than that. He doesn't remember the asking or the doing -- I sometimes comply but it is actually no fun, if not annoying. I hate that it hurts him. Sometimes I think I just need to keep his mind busy and I do think that helps but how to cope with this ongoing theme is what I need help with. Maybe there is no answer. He takes no meds for dementia/Alz--previous ones have failed or had side effects. I often wonder if denying him will result in some sort of anger but it hasn't so far.

I am so glad my husband doesn't do this. A few years ago, before dementia symptoms appeared, he would take 'the little blue pill' to aid him, and I dreaded accommodating him. He would have trouble reaching 'the conclusion' and would spend several painful minutes (for me) trying. Finally, after my having to see a gyn for spotting, I denied him sex. He doesn't ask any more.
Maybe you could ask your hubby's doctor for something to suppress your husband's urges? I recall reading in some article about this problem that you might have to lock your bedroom door at night.
I hope you can find some relief from this problem.

I have no solution other than a paper calendar and stick-on gold stars. After an encounter, have him add the star, so you can point out to him how busy he has been all month. I do think that it is part of the unraveling of his tether; a desperate grasp at keeping connected to a spouse. I remember seeing people chasing each other around, giggling, like in a school yard but with adult gestures. This was at an ALZ facility I was visiting for my mother in law decades ago. The social filter has faded or is gone completely. Since reasoning is also on the way out the door, I'm not sure if the golden glimmer on your calendar will convince your husband that he indeed has had many romps, but you can try.

Does anybody in this group can help me my husband has a big problem with Dementia and indecent exposure outside when he sees the female please help.
Sincerely, Ana

@anagusich, this must be so disconcerting for you. Please remember this is the disease, not your husband, that is causing this sexually inappropriate behavior. It happens with some patients.

I found some helpful advice from this article online:
- Dementia and Inappropriate Behavior: How to Respond https://www.agingcare.com/articles/things-people-with-dementia-say-155103.htm

Here's an excerpt that is relevant to your experience.
"If your husband attempts to grope a caregiver or even a stranger, calmly say, “That’s inappropriate,” or something to indicate that his behavior is unacceptable. It won’t help to scold, however. Promptly remove him from the situation if possible. Apologize to the person affected and discreetly explain to them that your loved one has dementia and their actions are a result of the disease. If this happens to a professional caregiver, take comfort in the fact that they are trained to handle challenging Alzheimer's situations like these.

If sexually disinhibited behavior escalates and begins interfering with your loved one’s ability to socialize and/or go out in public, it can drastically affect their quality of life. Speak to their doctor and/or elder care providers about nonpharmacological and pharmacological strategies for managing this behavior. For example, assigning male caregivers to an older man who tries to grope female staff could prevent this sexually inappropriate behavior and protect the dignity of all involved.

Specialty clothing that is difficult or impossible for a senior to remove without assistance can help thwart instances of exhibitionism. Depending on the nature and severity of the issue, prescription drugs like antidepressants may be recommended to help reduce a patient’s libido, although this option does come with risks and side effects."

You might also appreciate connecting with members in this related discussion:
- Alzheimers and sexual behavior: Any suggestions? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/alzheimers-and-sexual-behavior/

@anagusich, is your husband displaying this behavior in public? Is he at home with you or in a care home?

My husband lives at home.
Short term memory is completely gone, but he’s still remembers. Can talk to people converse my biggest problem is he likes to sit in the garage that faces front street and when he see female walking by he’ll expose himself.
He is good in public no problem just like to ask him where arethey from then start conversation with them.
He is on Seroquel that makes him sleepy and looking sad. Otherwise he’s a happy person.
How much hoping to find something that would lower his libido.
Thank you so much for answering some of my questions. May God bless you.
Sincerely, Ana