Shocked by aging process

Posted by seniormiz @seniormiz, Jan 25 8:54am

My fingernails and toenails stopped growing and just keep breaking off. My hair is falling out. My memory is not as sharp and sometimes I feel a little woozy. I hate this. I want my body and my senses back.

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Profile picture for rollingf @rollingf

@shmerdloff

I agree with you about good and bad experiences. I would add that great experiences are the exception. I was at a private concert in a private house in the summer. We had a fantastic event happen during the concert. The player was in his second song and it had a long pause in it. A wild bird was outside an open window. During the pause the bird starting singing the melody back to him (and us), then the player starting playing the melody with the bird. The moment probably lasted a minute but it felt like 5 minutes. The entire concert was captured on both audio and video tapes. The player was Dean McGraw of Minneapolis and he is a wonderful Guitarist! Still playing.

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@rollingf
yes. that's one which transcends. I guess miracles are an exception to the rule.

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A few days before mom died, she one day told all of us family members in her room one by one that she loved us and gave us each a hug. She even hugged the main nurse. That was very special because she rarely talked about love and rarely gave hugs. Fortunately I, my husband and both my kids were there for the hugs.

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Profile picture for rollingf @rollingf

@shmerdloff

I agree with you about good and bad experiences. I would add that great experiences are the exception. I was at a private concert in a private house in the summer. We had a fantastic event happen during the concert. The player was in his second song and it had a long pause in it. A wild bird was outside an open window. During the pause the bird starting singing the melody back to him (and us), then the player starting playing the melody with the bird. The moment probably lasted a minute but it felt like 5 minutes. The entire concert was captured on both audio and video tapes. The player was Dean McGraw of Minneapolis and he is a wonderful Guitarist! Still playing.

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@rollingf wonderful memory…one summer night an orchestra in Central Park was accompanied by birds, perfectly in time and in tune …one of my fave memories.

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Profile picture for hicopd @hicopd

A few days before mom died, she one day told all of us family members in her room one by one that she loved us and gave us each a hug. She even hugged the main nurse. That was very special because she rarely talked about love and rarely gave hugs. Fortunately I, my husband and both my kids were there for the hugs.

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@hicopd a friend was near his own end and then said ‘’I don’t know how to do this (die)— where’s the instruction book ?’’ Shortly after, he quietly slipped away…

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I am 71. I'm not very spiritual or religious. I learned a lot in AlAnon that help me deal with life in this last phase. Yes, 12-step programs can be cult-y for a lot of people, and they were made up by alcoholics, so they are kinda weird and imperfect. But two things I took away from my time in the program:

1. Learn to stop future tripping about your problems and focus on what you can do today.

2. Try to be of service to somebody before you go to bed tonight. I have a lot of fatigue, but never so much that I can't send somebody a text, cuddle my cats, or say something nice to my husband and son. It goes a little way toward giving life purpose.

Also: I am a former English prof and have a great reading list of books about protagonists over age 50 if anybody wants it! I recently enjoyed David Lodge's "Deaf Sentence."

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Profile picture for nohrt4me (Jean) @nohrt4me

I am 71. I'm not very spiritual or religious. I learned a lot in AlAnon that help me deal with life in this last phase. Yes, 12-step programs can be cult-y for a lot of people, and they were made up by alcoholics, so they are kinda weird and imperfect. But two things I took away from my time in the program:

1. Learn to stop future tripping about your problems and focus on what you can do today.

2. Try to be of service to somebody before you go to bed tonight. I have a lot of fatigue, but never so much that I can't send somebody a text, cuddle my cats, or say something nice to my husband and son. It goes a little way toward giving life purpose.

Also: I am a former English prof and have a great reading list of books about protagonists over age 50 if anybody wants it! I recently enjoyed David Lodge's "Deaf Sentence."

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@nohrt4me Am voracious reader, retired journalist. Would love to receive your reading list. Thanks and best wishes.

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Have you talked to your doctor, Could be any number of issues going on, thyroid comes to mind.

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Profile picture for nohrt4me (Jean) @nohrt4me

I am 71. I'm not very spiritual or religious. I learned a lot in AlAnon that help me deal with life in this last phase. Yes, 12-step programs can be cult-y for a lot of people, and they were made up by alcoholics, so they are kinda weird and imperfect. But two things I took away from my time in the program:

1. Learn to stop future tripping about your problems and focus on what you can do today.

2. Try to be of service to somebody before you go to bed tonight. I have a lot of fatigue, but never so much that I can't send somebody a text, cuddle my cats, or say something nice to my husband and son. It goes a little way toward giving life purpose.

Also: I am a former English prof and have a great reading list of books about protagonists over age 50 if anybody wants it! I recently enjoyed David Lodge's "Deaf Sentence."

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@nohrt4me
Hello! Serving others is one of the greatest things, it is the story of Jesus, the suffering servant. Sounds like you like to read, perhaps the story of his life, the Bible, would be of interest to you. Read the New Testament first, best wishes as you age, John who is also 71.

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Profile picture for jpm16 @jpm16

@nohrt4me
Hello! Serving others is one of the greatest things, it is the story of Jesus, the suffering servant. Sounds like you like to read, perhaps the story of his life, the Bible, would be of interest to you. Read the New Testament first, best wishes as you age, John who is also 71.

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@jpm16 The example of Jesus and the saints are still important to me as a lapsed Catholic. Many folks with chronic cancers are sustained by their faith, and I have the deepest respect for that. Best to you!

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What is your age? Do you remember anyone in your family growing older that "that Bitch Mother Nature" Hasn't Visited? Do You Know anyone over 75 who looks as they did 10-15 years ago?
When I was Very Young I remember looking at my 2 Grandmothers (whom I Dearly Loved) & feeling sorry for them. Both would Complain about losing their youthful & middle-age beauty, however I MUST ADD - to me they were both Beautiful Women ... gracious, thoughtful, loving, & both had delightful 'senses of Humor'. One grandmother in particular ... should have been 'a Stand-Up Comedian'.
Then I observed my Mother & Mother-In-Law, as they aged. They Both talked about getting Cosmetic Surgery, but when they finally got around to visiting cosmetic surgeons they were told "Too Late, if you were going to have 'work done' you should have started in your '40's, or '50's.
I took note ... shortly after turning 60's I looked in the mirror one morning & said, "OK Cutie, If You're going to 'Do It', it's time find yourself a Very Good Cosmetic Surgeon & find out if he can help you (or if it's too late)!"
2 Months later he performed my 1st Face-Lift! Afterwords People kept telling me I looked Terrific - Much younger! I was delighted! The surgeon advised me 'This'll only last +- 10 years before you'll want to come back." He Was So Right ... 13 years after the 1st procedure I was back, he did another surgery. at my Last post surgery appointment he said, "This is It. It's your Last one. When you'd like to have another, No Surgeon In His Right Mind'll take you as a patient, not at the age you'll be then." At that time I was 75.
Today I'm 88 ... several new acquaintances & a couple of Dr.'s have recently commented "You Don't Look Your Age - 88" ... looking in a mirror, I see an older face (older than I saw 10 years ago), but as long as people make those sorts of comments, I'm Happy! I Don't Regret for a Nono-second the temporary-discomfort that went with having Cosmetic Surgery, nor the expense, after all ... NO Health Insurance Policy covers elective surgeries.
The way I look at it, "You Can't put a Price-Tag on Happiness." OH & several months ago I was with my 20 yr. old Grand-daughter in an Airport (waiting for our flight), the young woman sitting next to us struck up a Conversation ... while we were talking she asked each of us our ages. I told her I was (am) 88, Both She & my Gran-D. were astonished! ... the lady kept saying "You're Kidding" & my Grand-D looked at me - Wide Eyed & kept saying "Really? Really?" (Enough Said?)

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