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I am 71. I'm not very spiritual or religious. I learned a lot in AlAnon that help me deal with life in this last phase. Yes, 12-step programs can be cult-y for a lot of people, and they were made up by alcoholics, so they are kinda weird and imperfect. But two things I took away from my time in the program:
1. Learn to stop future tripping about your problems and focus on what you can do today.
2. Try to be of service to somebody before you go to bed tonight. I have a lot of fatigue, but never so much that I can't send somebody a text, cuddle my cats, or say something nice to my husband and son. It goes a little way toward giving life purpose.
Also: I am a former English prof and have a great reading list of books about protagonists over age 50 if anybody wants it! I recently enjoyed David Lodge's "Deaf Sentence."
Replies to "I am 71. I'm not very spiritual or religious. I learned a lot in AlAnon that..."
@nohrt4me
Hello! Serving others is one of the greatest things, it is the story of Jesus, the suffering servant. Sounds like you like to read, perhaps the story of his life, the Bible, would be of interest to you. Read the New Testament first, best wishes as you age, John who is also 71.
A followup to your Number 1 point which is about future-tripping:
When I find myself doing it, I make myself smile and quit by saying to myself, Mark Twain’s words: “ I have survived many catastrophes in my life. Most of which never happened “
@nI ohrt4me
The 12 steps are wonderful
I completely agree that we must live in the present moment - not fret about the past an not worry about the future. "Today is the tomorrow that worried you yesterday, and all is well." I think Dale Carnegie wrote this, but I'm not certain who wrote it. I love it. And my mother always used to say, "Que sera sera." What will be will be. We are limited in what we can do to control what is going on in the world around us. The only thing we can control is our own thoughts, actions, and deeds.
I also agree that we are here to serve those less fortunate than ourselves; that is, if we truly open the eyes of our souls, we sill see that there is at least one opportunity a day to make a person's life a little better. Caring for others is never the wrong choice. These are not my words - I have quoted these words from a book I read by Carolyn Myss (I think that's her name).
Al Anon and AA are certainly imperfect organizations, but I truly admire and respect that their mission is to help people who struggle with alcohol addiction or those who have family members who are addicted. To me, this is to be applauded and it is quite remarkable when a family member's life is turned around (or saved) through the help of AA . At the same time, if I need help, I am more comfortable in a one to one setting with a psychologist (rather than a group AA setting).
I would be so grateful to receive your reading list...reading is my passion and favorite thing to do in life. I am dying for new material to read.
Thank you,
Madelyn
Temecula, California
Hello! I would love to get your reading list about protagonists over age 50 when you have a moment. Thanks, much!
@nohrt4me I’d like your reading list, too, please! I read constantly, and books with older protagonists are few and far between, in my experience.
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@nohrt4me Am voracious reader, retired journalist. Would love to receive your reading list. Thanks and best wishes.