For those of us without family - Who will take care of you ?

I am 91 years old and living by myself. I am in good health - able to take care of myself and drive. I do have two children. One lives in Asia, and I am estranged from the other. My husband and I took care of our financials by making a trust. I have appointed a fiduciary trustee who will take care of disposing of the estate after I am gone. A long time ago I was reading an article about what elderly people should do as they age. One of the suggestions was to have an account where you could get your hands on your money immediately in case of an emergency. We had such an account. I had to use a lot of it when my husband died. Now I have started to fill it up again. It is just a regular savings account, earning a bit of interest, but I can get to it right away and do not have any penalties. My goal is $100,000.00. It will be used for caregivers to look after me in my own home. I have discussed this with my trustee and she knows my wishes. During all the years when I was working I worked for lawyers. The last 23 years I worked for an attorney who did trusts and probate, so I was familiar with what had to be done. I feel much better now. Everything is in place and I was able to do it while I was still in my right mind. Fortunately I am not showing any signs of dementia and my doctor doesn't think it will happen because as I said earlier, at 91 I am in good health for my age.

Regular church goers when sick are supported. Food gets brought to house. Jobs get done. People just want to help.
Join a group, any group, the bigger the better. And smile when talking or listening. Go for it.
James

You are cordially invited to spend the rest of your time in India.
India offers a number of places to choose from and a lot of friendly people. After settling down, I am sure you wouldn’t call yourself without a family.
I can help you in choosing a place (weather wise) etc.

I learned about doing a TOD on property.. Transfer on death.. my boyfriend has been taking care of me for 3 years..(not easy.. lots of health issues.. runs to ER etc) but I had an attorney draw it up and file it at the court house.. It allows you to avoid probate..I don't have a will, no children and my younger siter lives a long way from here.. she would have inherited the house.. but she has cleaned out my parents 6000 sq ft home and then moved them into assisted living and then cleaned out my Father's things when he passed in 2023 ( a month before his 99th birthday) and then my Mother who passed in July at 95 so she had to clean out all of that!!..so then her husband.. 75 went in for a back surgery and he had alot of pain on a Tuesday.. he was fine when she went to pick him up .and was trying to get his prescription ..and they would not sell it to her.. because he sat up and had a heart attack and died 7 hrs later. so she said..I don't want your house..do a TOD and give it to him for all he has done..it was so easy!! I'm 71.. someone will have to clean out all my stuff..lol!! And dust.. but I am just not feeling well enough to do that.. so glad I have piece of mind for both my sister and for him!!

@standinginfaith TOD can also apply to bank accounts… the larger ones can be divided up and designated for certain people as you wish…I did several, for several family members…probate is expensive and can be slow as well…some people chose different kinds of trusts….as to the stuff in your home, my lawyer says if it isn’t specified to pass on to someone, there are estate sale companies that can help with that…presently, I am trying to clear out things while I’m still here, get them homes with people who need and can use them. Slow, gradual process.

@nycmusic Thank you!! Great news!! (I already have the beneficiaries designated..as I have almost "gone on" several times).. all started with one antibiotic that blew a hemorrhage in my stomach Dec 19 2019..and.. wow!! Been healed of alot of things... but I'm growing weary of the battle.. so I am just going to let people take what they want .. the only thing specified is my dear husband's flag.. David.. cancer causality of the VA June 16 2011..100% DAV Vietnam Vet (volunteer.. Army Infantry Lai Khe 68-69.. yes .. I miss him)..I'm 71 and as he told me "ready to go"..

Sending sympathy on the loss of your brave husband….Yes, letting people take what they want…we did that before a move…and i hope to do it again,setting certain things aside, so family and closest friends can choose what they want… already, one friend took some things and they ended up being auctioned off to benefit a congregation’s social services program.

@standinginfaith
After the memorial service for a friend, her daughters invited all who lingered after the light lunch after the service to come to the mother's home and chose whatever we'd like to have to remember her. The family had already removed everything they wanted. I have a lovely "mola" made by the San Blas indigenous people of Panamá. I worked in Costa Rica for two years and have several molas that I acquired when I was there. The one I got from her was a throw-pillow cover, but it was not stuffed with a pillow and looked like a small piece of fabric. It has a proud place on my living room sofa. And I remember her with fondness.

@joanland Oh that is so nice!! (I'm not having a service..just cremated and spread out in front of a small log cabin my husband and his best friend (both in their 50's, friends since high school) built for me in our woods outside..my husband gone 14 years now and our friend, who took such good care of me until he became so ill..he couldn't.. gone 10 years now).. they will all just take what they want.. my husband's family (and all their respective ex's still call me "Aunt.. I love them so!! ..can divvy it all up.. fortunately they are all good people..(which wasn't the case when my husband before this one dropped dead with a heart attack.. in the yard.. I have seen how badly peple cane behave.. just awful!!

@standinginfaith
May all go well for you. . .
Joan