For those of us without family - Who will take care of you ?

Nothing in this world is set in stone. Even those who have family or friends who we could appoint to do things like this when we are gone . . . We may outlive. We just have to do the best we can, as we see it today. No one knows the future, other than God.

I have a husband and 2 kids. My H is 15 years older than I and I’m helping him as he is having age-related health challenges. It does occur to me he may not be around to reciprocate but I do have my kids who live very far away & siblings and some friends plus can hire help as needed.

Worrying is unhelpful. We all do our best for now and planning for our futures.

I’m 74F and single, no kids, have needed back surgery for over a year. Now my knees are deteriorating and I need my right one done “now”. But who will take care of my home or pets when I do have surgery. When I had a previous surgery I had family nearby. Now they have all passed away as have several close friends. I have had home healthcare providers in the past and I have to say the majority of them were absolute crap. No I’m not moving to a retirement home, no I’m not giving up my pets who are all the family I have left. I’ve made the decision I will not have surgery. I will continue as I have, just like hundreds of people in my community, living each day and dealing with pain until I die. I am a retired RN and I know how difficult it is to find good after surgery care. No one wants to pay more to get better trained people. Companies find employees who will work for the least amount of money. I wish more high schools would offer a path to nursing degrees and students could earn clinical time while providing after care. In the meantime, I wish the best for everyone in this same situation.

@dederickve

Yes, nothing is set in stone. That’s true. I learned a very important lesson with an RN who came to my home to help me organize my medication boxes. She said, “Be prepared, not scared”. I try to live by that quote. No one else is coming to save me. It’s my duty to advocate for myself in the primary sense.

@yrm Hello, I’m deeply understanding of your situation. I’m in the same boat. I don’t know if you read my post farther above. I have pets, I probably will need my second knee replaced soon too.

Having the first knee done, I was in rehab hospital for a full 7 days. It was a horrible experience. The night crew goes off somewhere and doesn’t pay attention to the call button. Finally I tried this. I had my cellphone with me; I had to wait and wait each time for assistance to go to the toilet. Then I started dialing out to call the hospital from the outside. I asked for the head nurse on duty. I explained my situation and she would send someone up. Even to add new ice to my knee cooling appliance! The irony of having to do this is ridiculous! Some staff do care, but not many.

We have to get better at playing this game. You already know the system deficits.

I suggest looking at the Pet care app Rover, to become acquainted with one option. Look for ones with a large number of high star reviews. I also suggest contacting your local senior citizen center to post a job listing for other seniors that visit the center. Not at seniors have mobility issues.
Be prepared, not scared. Be your own hero. I believe all of your complaints to be true. I am in the same boat.

Also try the Area Agency on Aging. They have a valuable amount of resources.

Good luck to you. I hope that my comments can help you or others.

@azdesertgirl Each of us has to hope that we can be strong enough to depend on ourselves.

@azdesertgirl

Great idea on pet help. I would add this. Start before you have to have someone to help with pets so you have time to find a good fit. Good luck to us all.

It's a tough one for lots of us. But as for an executor, in your situation I would pay a solicitor to do it.

@gravity3
Absolutely. Our pets deserve to be cared for much like we do.
Thank you for your comment.