For those of us without family - Who will take care of you ?

@standinginfaith
May all go well for you. . .
Joan

My husband and I had a trust. I was fortunate enough to work for a probate/trust attorney for 23 years before I retired. She did it for us. When my husband died, I became sole trustee. After me, it was supposed to be one of my sons. (I have two) Unfortunately my son and I have had a serious falling out. So I found a fiduciary trustee. We had a meeting and I liked her. My attorney drew up the appropriate paper work. We discussed the issue you raised about assisted living. We are both in agreement on this. I will have caregivers in my own home. I have mentioned in previous posts about visiting two facilities who offer independent and assisted living. I was not impressed and they are expensive. So in my case, the problem is solved. You need to find a good attorney and discuss your future plans with him/her and see that the proper documentation is drawn up. You also need to research caregivers.

I learned about doing a TOD on property.. Transfer on death.. my boyfriend has been taking care of me for 3 years..(not easy.. lots of health issues.. runs to ER etc) but I had an attorney draw it up and file it at the court house.. It allows you to avoid probate..I don't have a will, no children and my younger siter lives a long way from here.. she would have inherited the house.. but she has cleaned out my parents 6000 sq ft home and then moved them into assisted living and then cleaned out my Father's things when he passed in 2023 ( a month before his 99th birthday) and then my Mother who passed in July at 95 so she had to clean out all of that!!..so then her husband.. 75 went in for a back surgery and he had alot of pain on a Tuesday.. he was fine when she went to pick him up .and was trying to get his prescription ..and they would not sell it to her.. because he sat up and had a heart attack and died 7 hrs later. so she said..I don't want your house..do a TOD and give it to him for all he has done..it was so easy!! I'm 71.. someone will have to clean out all my stuff..lol!! And dust.. but I am just not feeling well enough to do that.. so glad I have piece of mind for both my sister and for him!!

@standinginfaith I need a boyfriend. I'm sure after doing all that work after your parents passed, your sister really does not want to deal with your stuff and is thrilled you will be leaving it to him. I am in the process of trying to get rid of things now so whomever gets the uneviable task of dealing with my estate will not have as big a task as I did with my parents'. They will probably just pay someone to have an estate sale.

@thisismarilynb I wanted caregivers to assist my father to live in his home. Unfortunately we couldn't find what we needed. Big shortage of workers and the agencies could not provide the same people on a routine schedule. I did hire a friend of the family, who was a gem, and together we covered most of his needs until he needed 24/7 supervision. Even in memory care, I continued to pay the friend for companion care for my father and one of us spent time with him daily, as those facilities just do not hire enough staff and pay them well enough to stick around and provide the kind of care he needed to thrive. Many promises made at signing that were not fullfilled. You want to advocate but you don't want them to resent him. So I learned you really can't count on anything and it will all continue to change with the aging population and diminishing resources.

@danae25
I hear you. My fiduciary trustee has contacts with several agencies. I also am acquainted with a person who lives on my street that does caregiving. I am hoping that will be enough. Even though I am not yet exhibiting any signs of dementia at age 91, I am aware that things can still happen. The big question, of course, is how long I will live. No one can predict that. Right now I am good. That can change in a second. All I can do is to continue to eat healthy, be careful so I don't fall, and continue to not smoke and drink. Everything else is out of my control. And now certain factions want to make nursing a non-profession. We need nurses desperately and it is not an easy profession. But to go through all that and be able to put R.N. after your name is definitely professional. On that I have to fall back to my old saying: You can't fix stupid.

@danae25 Oh bless your heart!! I couldn't imagine what y sister went thru 6000 sq foot home.. (my Daddy had 7000 slides.. and refused to let her get rid of them..oh it took her 4 months to get all that done.. then they moved to a 2 bedroom assisted living.. and when he passed.. she went the next day and got it all out.. so.. she took more time when my Momma passed this July ..and now her husband.. ) I have alot of stuff!! But poor Scotty is so shy..and he really doesn't know my husband's family...never met my sister..she live over a 100 miles away.been out here one time in 36 years..) so.. I have the best family my husband always said "if anything happens to me, they won't treat you like the last one.. and they are awesome.. my 77 year old sister-in-law ("Sis) will be in command..everything is very dusty..oh well.. they love me anyway... I think you will get a boyfriend!! I'm 71 and he's a little younger.. if he hadn't been here I'd have been passed on along time ago. God knows just what we need!!! I'll pray for you!!

@standinginfaith Your reply made me smile and I sure could use some prayers, thank you. My folks had 3300 slides and they are still sitting in boxes in the spare bedroom of my house. Years ago, I went through all of them around the holidays and picked 650 to have made into a DVD for my father. It was expensive and the technology was just emerging so the quality isn't very professional like it is today. I made copies for my siblings at the time and I think they lost them. I don't know what to do with the slides because I think I am the only one who cares about our family's history. I couldn't even find a lamp for the the old projector, which I also still have. I've got a lot of useless stuff that just keeps accumulating and I'm determined to unload it to feel lighter. I think it's nice you are giving your sister and sister-in-law the credit they deserve. Often one person in the family ends up carrying the load. My Aunt was married three times in her life, the last time at 85. She kept telling me to "keep hoping". That also makes me smile. I'm 70 and been flying solo all my life, so I have no expectations. Bless you.

is everyone some form of crazy or another… I wonder and I wonder and here I am now writing down these words asking myself are there others who pass this way too perhaps destined to TRIP UP ON (The Roof ) is anyone who read this subject to the SPELL/CONSEQUENCES of LFE IT SELF that it bares with its soul
what do you think?