Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

I understand what you are going through. It was a 2-3 year battle with the doctors and in January my husband was finally diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment. Last December I started doing his medications because he wasn’t taking them correctly. I realize since then every day has a new adventure some days are better than others. I take wins with the wins and with the bad days I look toward good days that were. If you wanna communicate and talk to me, let me know. Know you’re never alone though you may feel that way. I felt that way a lot in the beginning last year. I have a great support system family and friends. I got a new job that is so supportive and without question I can get a day off. You need to build yourself around a community and you have it here. Again if you want to communicate with me let me know.

I am with you all and I needed this group this morning. My husband said his life had gone to hell in a hand basket and our conversation went downhill from there. His impairment fluctuates and right now it is great. But he has gone back to saying that everything would be fine if he could just drive. And get a job. And then I could retire.
He never understands the full situation. I spent the rest of my morning free time doing stuff for him.
I did not work out, I am crying, I feel like I am in a black hole. And now I have to start my work day while he is enjoying watching an old movie.
Since he cannot do anything else because he cannot drive.
He could do something/ but he will not take any of my suggestions and then blames me for not listening to his needs.
Thank you all for allowing me to vent with you.

I am praying constantly.
I needed this reminder for self-care.

Gosh, I read this and my heart goes out to you. Because, yes I am in the same situation. Our grown children are gone and live in different states. Mine from a previous marriage cares but he's too busy with my "athletic" grandchildren and they live in Texas. Our other son, my husband's from a previous marriage, is way too busy in his job and just sending his own son off to College, where he shows up on Campus, having his own issues of "withdrawal" when we're not ready to let our kids go. I suspect my husband's son is in denial over his Dad's health issue with MCI. He may not even know what MCI is and the various stages. So I'm alone and desperately trying to figure it out. I'm reading how some people's MCI last a long time in the "mild" stage. That makes me hopeful. Then I'm reading the worst. Stage 6, that "long quiet" that a few have referenced in this group. So overwhelming, and so frightening, but I'm just trying to take one day at a time, so I don't ruminate over all the things that haven't but might take place over time.

@tryingtimes10
Oh my gosh. Your post was the first that I read. My husband was diagnosed with MCI in December’24. We have been married 52 years, also. I have been reading through other posts, and we are all going through basically the same thoughts, problems and hitting the same walls. I felt so alone for such a long time before I finally took the big step to convince my husband to see a neurologist. Our three grown children were not on board and made me feel even worse. I have been seeing a therapist for a few years and brought my concerns up to him and wondered to him, what if I am wrong? I doubted myself constantly. I wonder if all of you faced that, the fact that you ‘know’ your spouse, you can look backward in time and see that the ‘other’ IS different. We do deal with sadness, anger and grief. We do miss affection, tenderness, attention and the ‘knowing’ each other and being able to read reactions, privately, in fun or weird situations. Our best friend & confidante is no longer. We do have so much weight on our shoulders with no one to help us with some tough decisions about now and even worse some horrible decisions that come with time.
@kathyduggan said that she waits to announce things, I agree with that. So many times someone will bring up a certain thing and I shudder and think ‘oh! Why did you bring THAT up?’ We will never get past that!’
My husband is still pretty independent & takes very good care of himself on his own, but he is definitely not ok. I miss him so much and feel the gamut of the feelings you all feel. What a journey this is. I’m glad I’ve found a place to vent where I feel heard and felt.
Peace and love to all of you.

@tryingtimes10
Oh my gosh. Your post was the first that I read. My husband was diagnosed with MCI in December’24. We have been married 52 years, also. I have been reading through other posts, and we are all going through basically the same thoughts, problems and hitting the same walls. I felt so alone for such a long time before I finally took the big step to convince my husband to see a neurologist. Our three grown children were not on board and made me feel even worse. I have been seeing a therapist for a few years and brought my concerns up to him and wondered to him, what if I am wrong? I doubted myself constantly. I wonder if all of you faced that, the fact that you ‘know’ your spouse, you can look backward in time and see that the ‘other’ IS different. We do deal with sadness, anger and grief. We do miss affection, tenderness, attention and the ‘knowing’ each other and being able to read reactions, privately, in fun or weird situations. Our best friend & confidante is no longer. We do have so much weight on our shoulders with no one to help us with some tough decisions about now and even worse some horrible decisions that come with time.
@kathyduggan said that she waits to announce things, I agree with that. So many times someone will bring up a certain thing and I shudder and think ‘oh! Why did you bring THAT up?’ We will never get past that!’
My husband is still pretty independent & takes very good care of himself on his own, but he is definitely not ok. I miss him so much and feel the gamut of the feelings you all feel. What a journey this is. I’m glad I’ve found a place to vent where I feel heard and felt.
Peace and love to all of you.

@tryingtimes10
Oh my gosh. Your post was the first that I read. My husband was diagnosed with MCI in December’24. We have been married 52 years, also. I have been reading through other posts, and we are all going through basically the same thoughts, problems and hitting the same walls. I felt so alone for such a long time before I finally took the big step to convince my husband to see a neurologist. Our three grown children were not on board and made me feel even worse. I have been seeing a therapist for a few years and brought my concerns up to him and wondered to him, what if I am wrong? I doubted myself constantly. I wonder if all of you faced that, the fact that you ‘know’ your spouse, you can look backward in time and see that the ‘other’ IS different. We do deal with sadness, anger and grief. We do miss affection, tenderness, attention and the ‘knowing’ each other and being able to read reactions, privately, in fun or weird situations. Our best friend & confidante is no longer. We do have so much weight on our shoulders with no one to help us with some tough decisions about now and even worse some horrible decisions that come with time.
@kathyduggan said that she waits to announce things, I agree with that. So many times someone will bring up a certain thing and I shudder and think ‘oh! Why did you bring THAT up?’ We will never get past that!’
My husband is still pretty independent & takes very good care of himself on his own, but he is definitely not ok. I miss him so much and feel the gamut of the feelings you all feel. What a journey this is. I’m glad I’ve found a place to vent where I feel heard and felt.
Peace and love to all of you.

@lkbous
Hugs and just a thought, you live with your spouse and know your husband after being with him 24/7. Your children may not be around their dad enough to see what you see. When you've lived with someone that long, you really, truly know them intimitately, and you absolutely know when something is off.
I started Journaling every time my husband exhibited behaviors that were 'off', or outside his normal. Every year before his Neuro doc visit I summarize the notes to create bullet points of the most glaring issues (since doc doesn't see them long in the office, they depend on caregiver reports).
Good luck to you!