Caregiver for spouse with MCI (Mild cognitive impairment)

I am also having trouble wrapping my head around this diagnosis. My husband has MCI but I feel that he is using the diagnosis as an excuse to not remember things. He is saying things like "You may tell something but I will probably forget it". It feels like a losing battle!! Yet he can come home from golf and tell my every shot he had! I am so confused as to what to feel bad about. Any suggestions would be helpful!
Also, we were hoping to get him started on the infusions and they are being held up by insurance.
Thanks for allowing me to vent!

My husband also is diagnosed with MCI. And also golfs (age 72). I am so happy he leaves the house and that there is something he likes. He only golfs 9 holes. Not long enough!! My husband repeats questions and comments all day. And forgets instructions if I try to get him to help. Today I am getting him to help put a frame together. Finding things we can share surety limited. Eating, walking, watching streaming services. He was diagnosed through the MOCA test. And is 19 out of 30 so not far off Moderate cognitive impairment. Sorry I have nothing helpful to say re your husbands total recall of every shot played. I only wish mine played more and had more engagement with life outside the house.

My husband was a 24 on the MOCA test. He has never done well on verbal and written tests specially in the doctor's office. Mine plays 18 holes and luckily walks. It gets him to socialize and out of the house. He is starting infusions in Sept. We are hoping they will help.
Luckily he is still driving himself and has not gotten lost. I can relate to feeling like he is on top of me every time I turn around. I hope that you can get some time for yourself and have people you can talk to.
Never in a million years did I see our future so glum at our age(74 and 72).
Try to stay positive! Thanks for responding.

If you do not mind sharing, which infusion are you starting in September and how did you choose it? Our family is struggling with the decision to start one of the new drugs.

Kinsula and was suggested by his doctor.

My husband is 71 with MCI due to Alzheimer’s. We caught it early enough that he was eligible for Kisunla and has had 2 infusions so far. The post infusion MRI’s have shown no sign of ARIA, one of the potential side effects that would require stopping them. Although the Kisunla doesn’t improve his symptoms, it seems to help slow down the rate of progression, although over the past couple of months I’ve noticed some progressive changes. He was also started on Lamotrogine, Buspirone , and Quetapine PRN to help with mood, agitation and anxiety. Without those meds, I don’t think I’d be able to manage the angry, verbally abusive outbursts. He’s still able to work at a job he enjoys, though, and wants to continue as long as he can as it gives him a sense of purpose and familiar routine. I’m don’t think he would be able to continue to work much longer without the Kisunla. I’ve also hired a maid service since I’m disabled from an autoimmune arthritis since 2017 l, and trying to get him to vacuum and mop the floor as he’s done in the past is too much of a fight. I’ve also hired a yard service so there are no more front yard loud meltdowns about weed eating. These services are less expensive than assisted living and memory care, so I feel they are well worth the money as we have more peace in the house now.

@birdhouseclosed Hi Birdie, I too am dealing with a slow go MCI husband. What he does or says is random - in and out, up and down, inside out - you name it. Then there are perfectly normal times as long as everything is the same and no challenges regarding his phone, email, finances, home upkeep, family dynamic issues. I handle EVERYTHING and I can honestly say he has never been my Rock so being the sole decision maker, money manager, event planner has been up to me for the last half of our 53 year marriage anyways. I've been the wind under his wings and he is finally realizing that. I'm letting our 2 daughters know what's going on with their dad in as kind a way as I can. I'm searching for help with a once a month support group & a few counselors on my insurance that I haven't called yet. I can't afford 250 a session (price of most counseling now a days) so we'll see how the insurance will deal with it. I have accepted his situation. Some days he is up front and admits he's off and other days he acts like he's fine. I've set boundaries on just where he can go in his car and so far he's adhering to that. I've got my own room and bathroom, thank God, and he's fine with that. I am taking one day at a time and not projecting, like I use to, about how bad this can get. The best thing I can do right now for both of us is to take care of myself through daily prayer, meditation, exercise, anti-inflammatory diet and getting good sleep. I hope you will take good care of yourself too. Blessings & hugs - Lori

@oneputt Hi there, I'm new to this site and I guess new to this part of our journey in life which I never saw coming. I could relate totally to what you were saying. My husband told me years ago that he is dyslexic and I suppose it hadn't really come up which sounds silly to say now, but he was very good at hiding it. It came more into play when our younger son was diagnosed as autistic and the whole assessments happened because my gut was telling me there was a difference in how he was as a toddler to my older son and I pushed for him to be seen by speech and language therapists, occupational therapists and psychologists to get answers. The the real fighting for your child's education came into play. I took care of all of the finances in the house, pretty much all of the bills except for the TV and streaming services as my husband managed to do those and lock us into contracts before I knew it. I too have been the rock the family leans on, he has never been my rock.
He's had bad health for most of our 35 year marriage, cancer just after we started going out which we then discovered decades later that the radiation he had in the chest area had hardened his heart and other organs. 2 years ago, he had a cardiac arrest, then a TAVI procedure. About 4 months after the TAVI, he had an MRI which showed he had a mini stroke. he ok but fatigued a lot of the time. He had another MRI recently and was told he has cerebral vascular disease, unsure if it it a pre MCI condition or a different way of putting it. But over the last 9 months his cognitive behaviour has gone down a lot the last few months. it could be longer but he might have held off telling me about it. Some days he is fine and others he forgets things, will walk off in the middle or me talking for no reason, repeats things and brings out his anger at me. He's broken small appliances and things from frustration He doesn't tell me when it happens and claims not to know anything about them when I find the broken ones. If he is nasty verbally, he has come down later, said he is sorry. Then say he doesn't remember what he said and that he doesn't want to know. That, not wanting to know cuts me to the core. We got told at his cardiac appointment on Monday that there is too much calcium on his mitral value so no insert can be done and he is too high risk for invasive surgery.
I am mentally and physically exhausted in caring for both my husband and younger son. My husband is 59 and my younger son is 21

Hi everyone, I just joined this group also. My husband has been dianosed with mild dementia with alzheimer's. Everytime I make someone aware that my husband has dementia for important interaction reasons, they mostly tell me, sympathetically (God bless you). I thought, are they just being extra nice, or what?.. Today I looked up, the most difficult family illness to take care of, and it is dementia. Now I know why I get so much sympathy from friends and strangers.
To you all who are caregivers of a loved one with dementia, hang in there. Be involved with support groups and community workshops for dementia caregivers. You get a lot of information for help. I got all kinds of info as to who to call and what number if I need help on something. My support group helps me keep my sanity and know what can be expected.
Let's keep ourselves healthy.
God bless us all.

@twiggy24
Hang in there twiggy. Frustration on their part is normal. From my experience, it helped when I act supportive and always give assurance. It calmed down my husband. He is past that stage. He is at a different level now. It's still frustrating on my part but I always remind myself that it is not him, nor his fault. It's unfortunately part of his illness. Positivity and negativity resonates to their emotions, so I try to stay positive. I treat repetitive questions as if it's his first time asking me. No sense stressing. When he started repeating himself, I alerted is primary care doctor. We got a referral to Cleveland Clinic. After brain biopsy, he was diagnosed with mild dementia with alzheimer's. Support groups, therapies, workshops started after diagnosis, which helps a lot.
You might want to ask his doctor about his changed behavior. I hope your husband doesn't have dementia.