Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

When things start getting touch n go i usually do not respond..some days he screams loud outside saying I can't do it and I am not going to do it. He had no patience whatsoever and being bi-polar also is scarey but I try to join him in watering the garden and flowers. Last nite he forgot to water flowers I said they would die..he said we'll let them die or you do it. I am constantly picking up the slack its like being a manager all over again but instead of college kids and high schoolers its a 76 year old man. Everyday is different. I do not allow my hubby to drive at all. I mow the lawn and weed it bought things that I could handle like smaller lawn mower and smaller battery operated weed eater. Life goes on try real hard to stay happy...say self today is another day we can do this. I sure would love to crawl into his head just for 5 minutes.

The day to day, even hour to hour, changes still catch me off guard. Good ideas to purchase manageable yard equiptment. I am doing most tasks now. He naps. I work. Yes, some resentment.

Both these posts today really resonate! It does get hard - doing everything and still trying to take care of yourself. I also feel resentment at times - my husband could do a little bit more to help himself or to make life overall easier for both us but choses not to. He feels it's "easier" if I just do it! I do realize at times he truly cannot do much of anything due to his health issues - including think clearly. Which just makes it sad. It's all very hard some days. But each day we get up and do what we can to get through. We just can't allow ourselves to get swallowed up by it all. Hugs to all of us!!

I could really tell my husband's empathy had taken a hit when he'd see me getting so sweaty, hot and exhausted doing all the yard work myself. He just didn't care that I was so tired and doing everything alone. Before I knew he had an issue I was just mad all the time, wondering why he was being so lazy.
I feel you! Hugs.
Judi

Could you’d please speak some more about ADHD and cognitive decline?
I am dealing with this with my husband and am having troubles with all of it ie me crying, not sleeping well, drinking too much. Thanks

Yes, it is a strange disease because things seem almost normal sometimes but at other times such different moods and behavior.

Self care first!

I felt the same way. I'd work in the yard for a couple of hours and he'd come out, pick up a few sticks, then pack it in. Now I don't expect anything. He still picks up sticks but I've stopped doing anything because of the heat and a recently diagnosed ascending aortic aneurysm. I guess it's better to be sad than angry.

I was diagnosed with a "new" heart condition too. Stress? Letting go and acceptance takes time but should help.

My husband has had memory problems a good portion of our marriage. We have been married 50+ years. He has had at least 2 concussions from automobile accidents. About 10 years ago he was diagnosed with vascular dementia, following some TIA’s. He was begun on Aricept and Namenda. I couldn’t really see any improvement. He stopped taking the meds of his own accord. He has now begun using words that aren’t real words, having blank stare episodes, and forgetting lots of things. He saw another neurologist who said he has mild cognitive impairment and restarted the two meds. I might see some improvement but he still has these episodes of confusion. He never talks to me and sits in his recliner most of the day doing nothing. If I try to engage him in conversation, he acts like a toddler, pouts, and goes to bed. I get the silent treatment for several days. I still work 12 hour shifts at the hospital as a nurse. I work PRN, but sometimes those hours add up to 3 days a week. I’m trying to balance work and home alone without help. He gets very mean if I ask him to help out with the chores. My sister keeps telling me I should retire (I’m almost 70) but work is my only saving grace. I have no friends outside of work and church and I pretty much keep everything bottled up inside. I’d like to do some traveling but he’s no fun to be with on a trip, so I just go alone with a travel group. There has to be more to life than this.