1. < Caregivers: Dementia

Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

Posted by tryingtimes10 @tryingtimes10, Dec 31, 2024

My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2019. He is pretty independent, just forgetful of time, dates, location of places, anything electronic & events from our life together (we’ve been married 52 years). It’s all just getting to me. I find myself wanting to be alone so I’m not continuously reminded of these changes. Because my friends/family are out of state, working, or involved with their own families, I really have no one to talk to so I’m seeing a therapist twice a week to deal with the sadness, anger, grief I have over his condition. I just wonder if other women find themselves in this position & how they are dealing with it.

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bjs080208 | @bjs080208 | 2 days ago

Unfortunately I’m in the same situation as you. My husband was diagnosed earlier this year, but the memory issues have been gone on for a few years. I have support from my family and I go to a Va caregiver dementia support group 2x a month. I walk a lot and that helps me. There are local caregiver support groups via in person or online. I do both. Hope this helps.

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Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | 2 days ago
In reply to @ladybug31 "Yes. I have the same feelings. My husband is 60 and was diagnosed with mci at..." + (show)
@ladybug31

Yes. I have the same feelings. My husband is 60 and was diagnosed with mci at 59. It breaks my heart. We had plans for retirement but some of that is on hold.

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@ladybug31, that is such a hard blow that I know many members have experienced. Life interupted! MCI is not according to plan.

Are there some retirement plans that are still possible? Are you both retired already or are you still working?

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maryvc | @maryvc | 1 day ago

I am with you as are many on this forum. I am married 52 years also. My husband was diagnosed in 2023 but there were signs before that. Whether it’s still MCI - I’d like to think so but if I were not able to be his partner and guide 24/7, he might already need memory care or 24/7 caregivers. I will do this as long as I can with hired help, but at some point I won’t have the bandwidth anymore. Every day is a new ending and a new beginning.
I live in the moment with him.
We are on Day 21 of a road trip. I do all the arranging and driving but it’s been nice for both of us.

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2me | @2me | 1 day ago
In reply to @kathyduggan "Thank you for sharing your list. My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2023, and has..." + (show)
@kathyduggan

Thank you for sharing your list. My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2023, and has been taking Aricept since then. We see the neurologist every six months and he’s been fairly stable. However, I do notice subtle changes, and then again he seems just fine. It’s those times that lull me into feeling better about his diagnosis, but not for long. I fortunately have used many of the suggestions on this list and I would like to offer one more that works good for us. When there’s any appointments, or decisions that needs to be made financially or otherwise I will wait as long as possible before telling him about them, since he would obsess over everything about it and make it extremely difficult to continue with following through. So far it works pretty good. We’ve been married for 29 years and it is heart breaking to see your loved one lose their ability to function normally. I am trying to think ahead and am contacting places that have memory care to accommodate us before he needs their care. I feel this is the only logical way to proceed ahead and do it before it has to be done. Good luck and God Bless you all. Kathy

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This! I finally stumbled on it quite by accident “…wait as long as possible before telling him about them…”. My husband has always been very detail-oriented. Now that has morphed into obsession, as you mentioned. It is tough. I’ve found waiting till necessary to mention whatever it is does help. I find this site and all of you so very helpful. It is my safe space (though I am seeing a therapist). Therapists may have the education, the expertise and the theories, but you all are living this, along with us!

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ellenkrellfactor | @ellenkrellfactor | 23 hours ago

I have a garden so I go outside when I’m really angry or upset.
Being outside helps a lot.
Writing in a journal helps a little
When he sleeps (which he does a lot) I try to sit quietly for a little while ( can u meditate ?) I Try to remember All the ways and times he’s been there for me and think of us as caring partners. But really, it’s just very hard

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