Narcissistic partner, struggling to cope as I am leaving.

Hi all. I did leave, I can't believe it, but I did! When I posted first, I planned to go in 2 weeks, it took 5 weeks. I am missing my partner, I am so sad, tired, and worried about my future, but deep down in my guts, I know I made the right choice. I don't think all I had was a trauma bond, there was a real connection, lots of good times, our love for our cats and losing them bonded us, and ease of traveling together. 10 years of life. But, the cheating, the drinking, the way he can switch, like Jekyll and Hyde. I learned, to know more about people, get in a car with them, and let them drive. Watch how they drive and treat other drivers on the road. He always feels entitled and thinks everyone drives badly, and should give him way, inpatient, and points out everyone's mistakes. He would not think that people are different, and that some people need more time to do their stuff on the road. If someone cut in front of him, it would enrage him. He always drives with lights on during day time. He told me this is for safety, but I think it is to intimidate people. Anyway, I do feel lost and really missing the home I left, I need strength to stay away from him and build my life again. If anyone going through the same or did in the past and wants to chat about it, do write a private message. I don't really talk to anyone about it, just my manager, so she knows why I am not myself at the moment. Thank you for reading my story.

Hi all. I did leave, I can't believe it, but I did! When I posted first, I planned to go in 2 weeks, it took 5 weeks. I am missing my partner, I am so sad, tired, and worried about my future, but deep down in my guts, I know I made the right choice. I don't think all I had was a trauma bond, there was a real connection, lots of good times, our love for our cats and losing them bonded us, and ease of traveling together. 10 years of life. But, the cheating, the drinking, the way he can switch, like Jekyll and Hyde. I learned, to know more about people, get in a car with them, and let them drive. Watch how they drive and treat other drivers on the road. He always feels entitled and thinks everyone drives badly, and should give him way, inpatient, and points out everyone's mistakes. He would not think that people are different, and that some people need more time to do their stuff on the road. If someone cut in front of him, it would enrage him. He always drives with lights on during day time. He told me this is for safety, but I think it is to intimidate people. Anyway, I do feel lost and really missing the home I left, I need strength to stay away from him and build my life again. If anyone going through the same or did in the past and wants to chat about it, do write a private message. I don't really talk to anyone about it, just my manager, so she knows why I am not myself at the moment. Thank you for reading my story.

Hi all. I did leave, I can't believe it, but I did! When I posted first, I planned to go in 2 weeks, it took 5 weeks. I am missing my partner, I am so sad, tired, and worried about my future, but deep down in my guts, I know I made the right choice. I don't think all I had was a trauma bond, there was a real connection, lots of good times, our love for our cats and losing them bonded us, and ease of traveling together. 10 years of life. But, the cheating, the drinking, the way he can switch, like Jekyll and Hyde. I learned, to know more about people, get in a car with them, and let them drive. Watch how they drive and treat other drivers on the road. He always feels entitled and thinks everyone drives badly, and should give him way, inpatient, and points out everyone's mistakes. He would not think that people are different, and that some people need more time to do their stuff on the road. If someone cut in front of him, it would enrage him. He always drives with lights on during day time. He told me this is for safety, but I think it is to intimidate people. Anyway, I do feel lost and really missing the home I left, I need strength to stay away from him and build my life again. If anyone going through the same or did in the past and wants to chat about it, do write a private message. I don't really talk to anyone about it, just my manager, so she knows why I am not myself at the moment. Thank you for reading my story.

@redtulip54 I've been wondering how the process was coming along. Have you ever talked with a therapist? Now might be a good time. One thought running through my mind is the grief process. Leaving a dysfunctional situation could certainly cause grief, in fact you mention the sadness you feel. Care for yourself.

Jim

Red tulip, it’s hard to let go
of the familiar, bad or good. But you will find each day gets easier if you focus on seeing YOURSELF as deserving a kinder and less stressful life. I always gravitated toward that sad partner who needed to be saved, rescued. Well, it’s not my job to rescue anyone and what I ended up with was a lot of heartbreak. You don’t deserve to wake up every day wondering who you are going to get: Jekyll or Hyde.
Move forward! Don’t be afraid and don’t look back. Go girl!

Yes I have. I had cosmetic violence treatment and therapy about 6 years ago The dark triad traits- narcissism sociopaths machieavellianism- typo exist on a spectrum. Keep yourself safe. Fact check everything. Beware who you listen too allow in your life and allow to influence you .You are very brave. Create your future.

Hello, I am at my lowest today, I am in real pain. It has been nearly two weeks since I left. I did not think I would hurt this much. If you have any words or good advice, please let me know.I read so many articles, listened to so many podcasts, and logically understand it all, but my stupid stupid heart is tearing. It is sunny and warm and I see happy couples and birds singing. But, I feel like I am in such a deep black hole. I don't know how to cope. Is it the trauma bond or is it my being just crushed to the core from falling so deep in love and trusting?I am not strong, I am a naive idiot and nothing I can do about it. The emotional and physical pain is immense.I can't afford to go to therapist at the moment as it cost me to move.

Hello, I am at my lowest today, I am in real pain. It has been nearly two weeks since I left. I did not think I would hurt this much. If you have any words or good advice, please let me know.I read so many articles, listened to so many podcasts, and logically understand it all, but my stupid stupid heart is tearing. It is sunny and warm and I see happy couples and birds singing. But, I feel like I am in such a deep black hole. I don't know how to cope. Is it the trauma bond or is it my being just crushed to the core from falling so deep in love and trusting?I am not strong, I am a naive idiot and nothing I can do about it. The emotional and physical pain is immense.I can't afford to go to therapist at the moment as it cost me to move.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad and I understand because you have taken a very big step forward and that’s not an easy thing to do. Sometimes it leaves you feeling like you’re between a rock and a hard place, damned if you do or don’t. We are creatures of habit and even when they are bad for us we still tend to go back to them only because they are familiars, making changes in life are always big steps but it helps to keep in mind what and why you wanted to do so. When you leave a bad situation it feels good at first because you accomplished something however it takes time for you to start moving forward and that is when you start looking back at what you left, naturally you start thinking that things weren’t all that bad because we tend to forget about the bad stuff, this is when you start doubting yourself and what you’re trying to accomplish. It would be wonderful if we could walk away from things easily and then start on something new but it doesn’t happen this way. If you’re confident that you’ve tried everything possible to make your relationship work and it still doesn’t work out then you owe it to yourself to keep going forward. I hope that you have some family and friends to talk with, therapy is helpful but it’s not always easy to find depending on where you live or financial circumstances. I would like to add that I have been where you are and even though it feels so hard to keep going, it will get easier with time, one day you will just know that you’re doing something right for yourself and everything else will come together,