Narcissistic partner, struggling to cope as I am leaving.

@daun44 - OH My Goodness!
Thank YOU very much for your most helpful posts - Really.

I intend to read & reread them, even print them out. You've captured so much of this experience in words...it is daunting, soul-defying and sometimes as cold as metal to live with this framing every day and every moment and thought or decision.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

It's been an especially tough day, and your postingS really helped pull me through.

AND, on top of it, I feel a little less lacking for not having found a way to overcome it all.

Most sincerely Thank you.

The most volatile (and dangerous) time, when leaving an abuser (any abuser) is just that. The part where you are leaving. The time when you actually do. That's the purpose of "safe houses." It is for this reason that you prepare ahead of time, IF at all possible. That means your identify documents. Your healthcare cards, your birth certificate, proof of citizenship. And all those things for anyone you may be taking with you (such as your children). In my case, some of the preparing I did right in front of his face. I mean, folding necessary laundry (and stashing a few things in my purse, instead). Obviously, money can and does make a lot of difference on the run, or in a safe house. You can make your own safe house, or you can contact a D/V agency to help you. Though with an agency involved, they will definitely want to see your documents and any on any child with you. However, normally they also can give you or direct you to free forms and helps to file for things like Orders for Protection, custody of children, custody of the family home, all that stuff. When I did it, I had the documents for me and my toddler in a bag. When the time came, and the weather permitted, I got my purse and that bag, the child's bag in case she needed a snack and I told him we were going for a walk outside. And I never looked back. I walked to a public pay phone, where I'd seen a sticker up with the phone number for that local Domestic Violence call line. It's the space in which you are in-between leaving and re-establishing a new home, or taking the home for yourself and any dependents, that is the most dangerous. God be with you.