1. < Caregivers: Dementia

Is your loved one with dementia sleeping a lot (too much)?

Posted by bayviewgal @bayviewgal, Mar 13 8:29pm

Is anyone else's loved have a hard time falling asleep AND sleeping too much? My 63 yo husband has been living with dementia caused by alz for 3 years and just recently he is sleeping between 10-14 hours a night. At his last neurologist's appt 2 weeks ago she suggested taking his Aricept during the day instead of bedtime cuz she says it can act as a stimulant and keep him awake. He's been taking melatonin for a while now but it doesn't seem to be working much for him anymore with regards to helping him fall asleep but once he finally does fall asleep he sleeps SO much. His dr. said to keep him on it to help him fall asleep but he is so wound up that it takes up to 4 hours to kick in.
Does anyone has a similar experience with this? And if so, what have you done to help combat this? Because of all this, i'm not sleeping cuz i need to know what he's up while he's awake (at 3 or 4am)

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cking325 | @cking325 | Jul 21 10:03am
In reply to @karmar "I work until 11 to complete my own work. It is my home in which he..." + (show)
@karmar

I work until 11 to complete my own work. It is my home in which he lives. Only I am responsible for up keep in all that deals with home ownership. I take four breathing treatments a day, all 4 of which he is asleep. If I slept when he does, I wouldn't have enough time to get the work done. I volunteered my home and my services to take care of him because I have a high respect for him and his service to this country, which I take seriously as well. None of his family have any use for him, which I find horrible to treat your father that way. I'd give anything to have my dad back. He died in 1988, way to early at age 65. I am also a big believer in you take care of your own. He is not my father, but he is a father, deserving of love and care.

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You are a saint that’s all I can say I take my care for my mother I law the same way
Bless you 🙌🏼🙏🏼

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celia16 | @celia16 | Jul 21 2:41pm
In reply to @cking325 "Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself..." + (show)
@cking325

Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself as I did get depends and also my biggest concern now is she’s sleeping all the time does not want to get up my thing is she needs to take her meds and she won’t get up she’s sometimes coherent and says ok but does not get up won’t eat my husband has had to get her up to take her meds but in 3days she’s hardly eaten or drank anything we do have a docs appointment tomorrow Monday early 🙏🏼

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We are encountering something similar with my dad. I did learn when I was caring for my cousin, who had dementia, that as it progresses, the person will likely sleep more and more. She was eventually in a Memory Care unit and they were able to get her to take her meds, but I’m not sure how. I think she only took most meds once a day. Daddy has a lot twice a day, and some right before bed. It’s a struggle. I hope you get some suggestions from her doctor.

Does she take any meds that make her sleepy?

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Jul 21 11:57pm
In reply to @cking325 "Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself..." + (show)
@cking325

Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself as I did get depends and also my biggest concern now is she’s sleeping all the time does not want to get up my thing is she needs to take her meds and she won’t get up she’s sometimes coherent and says ok but does not get up won’t eat my husband has had to get her up to take her meds but in 3days she’s hardly eaten or drank anything we do have a docs appointment tomorrow Monday early 🙏🏼

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@cking325 Since you have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and I saw your question rather late, I’ll only mention a few things. Will your husband also be going to the doctor’s app’t? Is your husband OK with you giving approval to new medicines or stopping old ones? If you have time, write down as much information as you can so the MD will understand what’s going on. And write the doctor’s responses, too. Will save a lot of confusion in the long run.
As for medications, ask the doctor which are of primary importance and which you can skip. This will make medicine time a little easier. Also, ask for tips on giving the pills to someone who doesn’t want to take them. When I worked as a nurse, we frequently put pills in a spoonful of applesauce. Ice cream and pudding work well, too!
If the doctor is friendly, what do you think they will say about your MIL’s overall care? I don’t know you, but I can tell that you’re trying very hard to give your MIL some good days and dignity as she approaches end of life.

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cking325 | @cking325 | Jul 22 8:33am
In reply to @cking325 "Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself..." + (show)
@cking325

Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself as I did get depends and also my biggest concern now is she’s sleeping all the time does not want to get up my thing is she needs to take her meds and she won’t get up she’s sometimes coherent and says ok but does not get up won’t eat my husband has had to get her up to take her meds but in 3days she’s hardly eaten or drank anything we do have a docs appointment tomorrow Monday early 🙏🏼

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Thank you so much best advise and yes my husband is her caretaker I do share with him our daily routine etc last nite he took her to urgent care as she was not eating and started spitting up mucus so he took her to urgent care and she’s still there he’s on his way back to urgent care at Kaiser again so not sure what is going to happen
One thing I noticed is she’s starting to not eat it drink and she just sits and looks out the window or sleeps
She’s sleeping more and more
I’m actually thinking the meds for her ITU could have made her sick on an empty stomach but the Doc did say she was dehydrated so I will keep you all up to date I pray they put her in a center for aftercare I can’t do this it’s do much getting her to drink and eat it makes me feel like I’m to blame for her getting dehydrated I tell her all day drink your tea drink your water I put a little lemon or a slice of orange in water for better taste it just is not working out for me
Talk soon all thanks again for all your support I’m thankful for this info🌹

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1995victoria | @1995victoria | Jul 22 10:13am
In reply to @cking325 "Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself..." + (show)
@cking325

Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself as I did get depends and also my biggest concern now is she’s sleeping all the time does not want to get up my thing is she needs to take her meds and she won’t get up she’s sometimes coherent and says ok but does not get up won’t eat my husband has had to get her up to take her meds but in 3days she’s hardly eaten or drank anything we do have a docs appointment tomorrow Monday early 🙏🏼

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At the end of his life, my brother was sleeping maybe 22 hours a day, didn't want to eat. I remember my grandfather also stopped eating in the end, my mother would ask me to feed him, as he wouldn't refuse his granddaughter. Also my mother stopped eating in the end, and did sleep a lot. These werr my experiences, but may not be yours. I know it's frustrating, but you can only do so much, then you have to back off and just love her the way she is.

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redlou | @redlou | Jul 22 10:53am

Thank God for caring people like you! Our local Council On Aging offers help with housekeeping, lawn care, and handyman stuff. Do you have a local Council On Aging you could contact?

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celia16 | @celia16 | Jul 22 12:02pm
In reply to @cking325 "Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself..." + (show)
@cking325

Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself as I did get depends and also my biggest concern now is she’s sleeping all the time does not want to get up my thing is she needs to take her meds and she won’t get up she’s sometimes coherent and says ok but does not get up won’t eat my husband has had to get her up to take her meds but in 3days she’s hardly eaten or drank anything we do have a docs appointment tomorrow Monday early 🙏🏼

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I agree about the eating. I might inquire about the options if she is unable to eat. My cousin had instructed me years earlier, that she did not want artificial hydration or nutrition. So, she went on Hospice and they were a great help.

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bayviewgal | @bayviewgal | Jul 22 2:04pm
In reply to @cking325 "Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself..." + (show)
@cking325

Good Morning allQuick question I’m going thru Dementia with mother-in-law and she has started soiling herself as I did get depends and also my biggest concern now is she’s sleeping all the time does not want to get up my thing is she needs to take her meds and she won’t get up she’s sometimes coherent and says ok but does not get up won’t eat my husband has had to get her up to take her meds but in 3days she’s hardly eaten or drank anything we do have a docs appointment tomorrow Monday early 🙏🏼

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My husband has had a couple phases of when he sleeps alot (10-14 hours) but he still eats well and drinks plenty of fluids, thank god. His neurologist said for me not to be too concerned at this point because when he's sleeping he doesn't have to "think" or remember anything and things are "all good in his mind". His med schedule is a little wonky when this happens and I've told her about that as well and she told me to just keep doing the great job that I'm doing and as long as he's getting his meds he'll be fine ( so-to-speak). AND he looks SO peaceful when he's sleeping and i treasure those little joys that he "gives" me... like nothing has changed since when we first met... if that makes sense. If sleep is what it takes for him not to struggle, or be confused or frustrated, or agitated, I will embrace that. I know our situation is a little different because he IS still eating but this horrible journey is the same and i pray for all involved in caring with someone with dementia AND most of all for the person living with dementia.
Love, prayers and hugs to all

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2 replies
crankyyankee | @crankyyankee | Jul 23 5:26am
In reply to @bayviewgal "My husband has had a couple phases of when he sleeps alot (10-14 hours) but he..." + (show)
@bayviewgal

My husband has had a couple phases of when he sleeps alot (10-14 hours) but he still eats well and drinks plenty of fluids, thank god. His neurologist said for me not to be too concerned at this point because when he's sleeping he doesn't have to "think" or remember anything and things are "all good in his mind". His med schedule is a little wonky when this happens and I've told her about that as well and she told me to just keep doing the great job that I'm doing and as long as he's getting his meds he'll be fine ( so-to-speak). AND he looks SO peaceful when he's sleeping and i treasure those little joys that he "gives" me... like nothing has changed since when we first met... if that makes sense. If sleep is what it takes for him not to struggle, or be confused or frustrated, or agitated, I will embrace that. I know our situation is a little different because he IS still eating but this horrible journey is the same and i pray for all involved in caring with someone with dementia AND most of all for the person living with dementia.
Love, prayers and hugs to all

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Very similar here. My 92 yr old husband diagnosed in 2019 and is stable. When he first began to stay in bed longer, I became irritable because it threw off need schedule and meal schedule, but I soon realized that he wouldn't fall if he was in bed, he didn't have to remember what he just ate and he was making his own schedule. AND it was good for me since I could get some things done and have some "me" time. He enthusiastically eats two healthful meals a day and continues to be good natured. I just had to give up my expectation of "how he should be" and make the best of "how he is". He too has a doctor who is my cheerleader and that's very helpful to me.

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2 replies
celia16 | @celia16 | Jul 23 4:47pm
In reply to @crankyyankee "Very similar here. My 92 yr old husband diagnosed in 2019 and is stable. When he..." + (show)
@crankyyankee

Very similar here. My 92 yr old husband diagnosed in 2019 and is stable. When he first began to stay in bed longer, I became irritable because it threw off need schedule and meal schedule, but I soon realized that he wouldn't fall if he was in bed, he didn't have to remember what he just ate and he was making his own schedule. AND it was good for me since I could get some things done and have some "me" time. He enthusiastically eats two healthful meals a day and continues to be good natured. I just had to give up my expectation of "how he should be" and make the best of "how he is". He too has a doctor who is my cheerleader and that's very helpful to me.

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Does he still get up to use the bathroom?

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