Husband diagnosed MCI: He is in denial and personality is changing

New comment. My husband plays cards with 6 buddies once a week. Last night when he was dealing the cards, he totally forgot what he was doing and did something wrong, and one of the guys said, hey, what’s wrong with you, you’ve been playing cards for 25 years, did u forget the game? Reason I am telling you this is that he told me what happened last night and for the first time he realized he forgot something. I could tell he was scared. He said I guess there is something wrong with my brain. We are seeing the neuro at the end of this month. I thought it was something to mention. Did this ever happen to your spouse before?

My husband has diagnosed MCI, Mild Cognitive Impairment. He started “slipping” several years ago but 2 years ago he was having more issues with memory and anxiety. We decided to see a neuropsychologist and gerontologist. After his diagnosis we didn’t know how or what to tell people. Holding it in became too difficult so now most everybody knows just like we know all our friends with diabetes, cancer and heart disease. If someone asks what’s wrong with you, he tells them.” I have Mild Cognitive Impairment, that’s another way of saying my memory is slipping. “ We are still very social and he works out at the gym, takes classes and
Goes out to lunch with friends. He no longer drives so has to be picked up.
If this is just the beginning for you, hopefully you have many more quality years together and him with his buddies.

My husband has diagnosed MCI, Mild Cognitive Impairment. He started “slipping” several years ago but 2 years ago he was having more issues with memory and anxiety. We decided to see a neuropsychologist and gerontologist. After his diagnosis we didn’t know how or what to tell people. Holding it in became too difficult so now most everybody knows just like we know all our friends with diabetes, cancer and heart disease. If someone asks what’s wrong with you, he tells them.” I have Mild Cognitive Impairment, that’s another way of saying my memory is slipping. “ We are still very social and he works out at the gym, takes classes and
Goes out to lunch with friends. He no longer drives so has to be picked up.
If this is just the beginning for you, hopefully you have many more quality years together and him with his buddies.

Hi, I haven't seen major personality changes yet in my husband who was recently diagnosed with MCI, but definitely personality changes.
The diagnosis was a relief, because I just thought we were having problems in our marriage. Now I have to work on my reactions when I get frustrated.

Hello. I’m 57 and my partner is 64. In brief, I got breast cancer 6 years ago - mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy, the lot He was pretty hopeless during my treatment - didn’t know or want to care for me. For some reason, maybe Covid, we stayed the course. Fast forward 6 years and he was diagnosed with MCI by one consultant and told he’d simply ‘ lost his mojo’ by another and that his brain scans were reassuringly clear . All I know, is on a day to day level I mostly hate him and feel too guilty to leave. He makes nice days awful, refuses to go places and tells me “ I don’t like you” We’ve been together 23 years and I left my husband for him. Why oh why does no one on here just say, I’ve had enough, I’m done and leave their MCI partner? This is NOT the person we knew, would we stay with an alien? Aaargh xx

You are still young. With many years to live. Are there any other friends or family members who can help out?
Even if you get out of the house for several hours each day that might ease some of the burden of his presence. Sometimes I can’t stand my husband’s behavior toward me. I no that it is not his fault and I try to employ empathy. That helps. But his personality is changed and not only have to deal with his irritability and nastiness I also help him manage his life
The best thing I have done for myself is that now I spend most nights sleeping in my cozy study.

Hello. I’m 57 and my partner is 64. In brief, I got breast cancer 6 years ago - mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy, the lot He was pretty hopeless during my treatment - didn’t know or want to care for me. For some reason, maybe Covid, we stayed the course. Fast forward 6 years and he was diagnosed with MCI by one consultant and told he’d simply ‘ lost his mojo’ by another and that his brain scans were reassuringly clear . All I know, is on a day to day level I mostly hate him and feel too guilty to leave. He makes nice days awful, refuses to go places and tells me “ I don’t like you” We’ve been together 23 years and I left my husband for him. Why oh why does no one on here just say, I’ve had enough, I’m done and leave their MCI partner? This is NOT the person we knew, would we stay with an alien? Aaargh xx

Hello. Thank you for your kind message. I’ve tried to manage all this for too long and now I just want out. I have a 30 percent of my breast cancer returning- I can’t help that, just like he can’t help what’s happening to him. I resent the inference that the spouses of partners of someone with cognitive impairment- mild or otherwise- are somehow meant to soldier on and be supportive. If you met someone and they were a socialist and then. over the course of your relationship , became a fascist, would you stay with them? No. I reject the notion that the partner must suffer at the expense of the one with MCI. I have a supportive and loving friendship network- that’s where my heart is, not with this person I no longer recognise . I know longer care that this sounds brutal - yet another night alone while he goes to ‘his’ room