Need help! Depression and anxiety

Posted by pirateking @pirateking, Jul 22, 2016

I don't know where else to go without going to a hospital. I've always had issues with depression and anxiety. It is tough to deal with, but I have a grasp of what it is at least. I've been taking 10MG of Lexapro and 1-1.5 MG of Klonopin to treat it. My psych doctor died in January and I started with a new doctor that upped my Lexapro to 20MG and put me on Buspar for anxiety.

She then decided to take me off the Klonpin. She had me go from 1-1.5 to only .5 a day a month ago and then cut me off. My anxity was already starting to increase that month, and a few days after I stopped the klonopin I faced massive panic attacks among a ton of other issues. It took some begging for help until she eventually put me on .5MG of Atavan but I don't think it is working.

My current symptoms are this horrible brain fog that is impairing my basic functions. I forget things easily, I can't concentrate. It feels like I've literally got dumber. I am clumsier. I keep almost walking into poles and today I almost got run over by a bus. I'm beyond irritable. I almost attacked a man on an elevator because of his breathing, and I've never had such violent thoughts before. I've had brief sucidical thoughts that I had to talk myself out of because I rationally know I don't want to do that.

When I stretch my neck it hurts. It feels like my neck or back is violently ripping in two. I'm having out of body experinces. I am sitting at work and suddenly I am not sure if I am dreaming or not

I also have headaches, I'm pacing constantly. I am having muscle spasims, twitching, my hands tremble.

This is terrifying. I've never felt like this in my entire life and I don't know what is going on. Is it the Buspar? The Atavan? The lack of Klonopin and should I go to the hosptial? My doctor isn't around on the weekends. Any help will be appericated.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@IndianaScott

Hi all! I have been following this discussion with interest. My wife was on a cocktail of medications during her entire 14 year journey with her brain cancer, which was accompanied by chronic pain, sky-high anxiety, and a multitude of other symptoms. Drugs came and went in that regimen, Dosages went up and down. Combinations were attempted, used, and often discarded. With each person and their metabolism being unique it's not always perfect, especially at first. Plus I learned it can take quite awhile for some drugs to achieve a therapeutic level in the blood stream. One of our sacrosanct rules was that we would never alter a dose of her medication without first talking with her doctors and nurses. Perhaps some of this was due to the complexity of her multiple drugs, perhaps some of it was due to her anxiety, but most definitely the vast majority was because we knew the doctors, as a team, were far more knowledgeable on her drugs, their interactions, etc. than we could ever hope to be. If we thought a dosage could be, or needed to be, adjusted we always asked first. Plus if we felt one of her docs was out of the loop or over their head, we queried all her other doctors and nurses for their opinions. We never, ever acted alone or as our own doctors. Plus we can study what we can about our drugs, but still, at least in my case, I know I am not an RN, NP, MD, or PharmD and I don't have access to the same volume of information they do.

Someone mentioned pain pumps and I have to say I do not believe there is one chance in a hundred million billion anyone will ever give out pain pumps for basic home use. I saw them in action in many hospital settings over the years and they needed constant monitoring, incessant maintenance, adjustments, and at times were prone to failures of a variety or types.

As to the new regulations regarding opioids, the abuse numbers of just prescription opioids is astounding, affecting every corner of America, and not always the areas where you might think. It is truly an epidemic in our country and has led far too many onto a life of desperation and loss. No matter who we view as at fault, it is out of control so there are many avenues being pursued to attempt to get a handle on this. And it is not just deaths, but the gigantic increases in ER visits for Rx overdoses, family traumas, costs to our society in general, etc.

Whether we might view it as right or wrong, actions are being taken at points in the stream where chokeholds and reviews can be applied. Yes, they are a PITA at times. I know it was a real hassle when it changed so I could only get my wife's opioid Rx's when she was down to one day's dose, but I understood why. That was actually one of the nicest benefits of home hospice that her Rx's were delivered to us. Also Fentanyl is do dang powerful it is highly sought after for a lot of wrong reasons. Even when my wife was in home hospice I had to carefully account for each patch, pill, and dose and how I disposed of the used patches, oral syringes, etc. was dictated and very specific. There have been cases in our county of people sorting through hospital trash to find used Fentanyl patches to be licked! I was also instructed to be sure to remove every single piece of identifying information before I discarded any pill bottle, pharmacy bag, or bag tag into the garbage stream.

It is a different world out there now and Dr. Welby left the building a long time ago. Yes, much of this affects those of us dealing with chronic pain, but it unfortunately is our new reality.

Just my two cents plain.

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Hi Indiana Scott, May I first say that I am sorry for the situation you had to endure with your wife. I am glad you were there for her throughout her years of need.
I understand a lot of what you have said in your "two cents worth", especially when seen from your perspective.

However, I just wanted you to understand a couple of things from someone that is experiencing what some pain doctors, as well as The Neuroscience Center call "The Most Painful Thing In The World". I suffer from Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), for which there is no cure. Though not deadly itself, I can assure you that there have been times that I have wanted to die, the pain was so bad. I know that I am not the only one either.
I was the one that had mentioned the pain pump earlier. I know the pain pump that you have seen is the setup. at the hospitals that is on a pole & constantly beeping and sounding off and really noisy. I am sorry to tell you that there is more than "one chance in a hundred million billion", because pain pumps are already available for home use. They are different than the ones that you see in the hospital. They are small units a little smaller than an iPad mini. A cartridge of the medicine goes into the unit and it is all contained in a small pouch. The allowable dosage is already preset within the unit and it secure by both codes and a lock to the pouch itself if needed.
I made use of one for my husband as we chose to have him at home in the final stage of colon cancer. This may or may not be seen as "basic" depending who you are and how you look at it. I do not believe that everyone should be given a pump. I do believe that there are cases beyond EOL care for cancer patients only. I am on the maximum dosages for ALL of the medications that I am on. This includes all medications beyond just narcotics & opiates. I just finished going through the list again with my doctor. There is no where to go from here to manage my pain as it continues to spread in my body. The only option, if it was available, would be a pump which would actually allow me to lower the dosages on my medications, since they are much more effective when given directly into the bloodstream.
I agree that something has to be done to address the current situation that has become what appears to be an epidemic.
However, I am talking beyond the hassle of having to wait to get your wife's opioid Rx's when she was down to one day's dose.
I have to do that as well, as many others. But I am talking about doctors and/or insurance companies denying you medication at all !!
That is why the NOUGG came up with the Guideline and made it clear that the Guideline was/is NOT intended to be used as a Policy or Standard of Practice. They knew that there is and will always be cases that do not "fit" into the Guidelines. There is a need to for some discretion. You cannot punish those who are in need and use the drugs properly by denying them their drugs because of those who don't! I have already been on the verge of suicide because of the pain that I endure from this condition. I also believe that there are many more like me who actually were denied and were forced to go to the street to buy whatever drugs they could get to help ease their pain or maybe to take their life in order to get away from the pain and not have to endure using the streets as their pharmacy!

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Hi to all of you .... I just caught up with this thread and this disease sounds awful. To have no end in sight would be very discouraging, I would think.
I do plead ignorance, though. Could one of you please tell me .... in "people" terms (not doc.'s terms) just exactly what it is, how it manifests itself, how you got it, is it hereditary, etc.? I feel so sorry for you folks with this, but I would like to know more, right from your own minds and hearts.
Bless you,
Abby

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@amberpep

Hi to all of you .... I just caught up with this thread and this disease sounds awful. To have no end in sight would be very discouraging, I would think.
I do plead ignorance, though. Could one of you please tell me .... in "people" terms (not doc.'s terms) just exactly what it is, how it manifests itself, how you got it, is it hereditary, etc.? I feel so sorry for you folks with this, but I would like to know more, right from your own minds and hearts.
Bless you,
Abby

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amberpep as in it are speaking about depression and anxiety?

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@amberpep

Hi to all of you .... I just caught up with this thread and this disease sounds awful. To have no end in sight would be very discouraging, I would think.
I do plead ignorance, though. Could one of you please tell me .... in "people" terms (not doc.'s terms) just exactly what it is, how it manifests itself, how you got it, is it hereditary, etc.? I feel so sorry for you folks with this, but I would like to know more, right from your own minds and hearts.
Bless you,
Abby

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No, I mean the CRPS. (if those are the right letters)
Abby

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@kellieb58

Yes please keep in touch with your doctor ,I finally found A great counsler and a great physic doctor and also got myself a social worker also. I still have problems in the am with my bad panic attacks this last doctor took me off my 2nd pill i have been on for 14 years. I don"t get it they worked i was not a space cadet i wasn"t numb new everything i was doing.Now i"am asking my new doctor to see the difference in me if i take 2 mgs in the morning of my meds or at least let me take 1/ 1/2 in the morning. I keep in touch all the time about my meds. sometimes i drive them crazy because i"m s freaked out about my panic attacks. it"s like wow they last 6 hpurs 4 hours sometimes all day . and i need to go back to my 4 times a day I"am not going back to having these out of control attacks when this med was helping me control them.So please keep in touch with your doctor all the time please. Good things coming your way. We will get thru this together. kellie

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I have always been a compliant patient and like you said to be willing to give it some time to see if it works helps with your doctor/patient relationship. The doctor is usually willing to be more helpful if you appear to be more cooperative. My pain doctor has explained to me that when lowering a dose of medication it often takes sometime for your nerve endings to adjust. This was the case with my last decrease. As I am preparing for my decrease (and I am scared as the new clinic is not likely to restore it to my current level if the drop doesn't work.) I been having bad pain this week and am praying that things are going to work out ok.

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@IndianaScott

Hi all! I have been following this discussion with interest. My wife was on a cocktail of medications during her entire 14 year journey with her brain cancer, which was accompanied by chronic pain, sky-high anxiety, and a multitude of other symptoms. Drugs came and went in that regimen, Dosages went up and down. Combinations were attempted, used, and often discarded. With each person and their metabolism being unique it's not always perfect, especially at first. Plus I learned it can take quite awhile for some drugs to achieve a therapeutic level in the blood stream. One of our sacrosanct rules was that we would never alter a dose of her medication without first talking with her doctors and nurses. Perhaps some of this was due to the complexity of her multiple drugs, perhaps some of it was due to her anxiety, but most definitely the vast majority was because we knew the doctors, as a team, were far more knowledgeable on her drugs, their interactions, etc. than we could ever hope to be. If we thought a dosage could be, or needed to be, adjusted we always asked first. Plus if we felt one of her docs was out of the loop or over their head, we queried all her other doctors and nurses for their opinions. We never, ever acted alone or as our own doctors. Plus we can study what we can about our drugs, but still, at least in my case, I know I am not an RN, NP, MD, or PharmD and I don't have access to the same volume of information they do.

Someone mentioned pain pumps and I have to say I do not believe there is one chance in a hundred million billion anyone will ever give out pain pumps for basic home use. I saw them in action in many hospital settings over the years and they needed constant monitoring, incessant maintenance, adjustments, and at times were prone to failures of a variety or types.

As to the new regulations regarding opioids, the abuse numbers of just prescription opioids is astounding, affecting every corner of America, and not always the areas where you might think. It is truly an epidemic in our country and has led far too many onto a life of desperation and loss. No matter who we view as at fault, it is out of control so there are many avenues being pursued to attempt to get a handle on this. And it is not just deaths, but the gigantic increases in ER visits for Rx overdoses, family traumas, costs to our society in general, etc.

Whether we might view it as right or wrong, actions are being taken at points in the stream where chokeholds and reviews can be applied. Yes, they are a PITA at times. I know it was a real hassle when it changed so I could only get my wife's opioid Rx's when she was down to one day's dose, but I understood why. That was actually one of the nicest benefits of home hospice that her Rx's were delivered to us. Also Fentanyl is do dang powerful it is highly sought after for a lot of wrong reasons. Even when my wife was in home hospice I had to carefully account for each patch, pill, and dose and how I disposed of the used patches, oral syringes, etc. was dictated and very specific. There have been cases in our county of people sorting through hospital trash to find used Fentanyl patches to be licked! I was also instructed to be sure to remove every single piece of identifying information before I discarded any pill bottle, pharmacy bag, or bag tag into the garbage stream.

It is a different world out there now and Dr. Welby left the building a long time ago. Yes, much of this affects those of us dealing with chronic pain, but it unfortunately is our new reality.

Just my two cents plain.

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@overwhelmed, I can certainly understand your pain. i have previously mention that I have Thoracic Outlet syndrome. I had surgery to repair this hideous illness. I my case it is hereditary and surgery was the only soloution. Unfortunately as I have previously mentioned this surgery did not work and was left with the CRPS you referred to. I am one of those who do not fit with these guidlines. Not to complain but my pain was excruciating last night, I slept with 4 ice bags and could not wait for my 1 am alarm to go off for my oxymorphone dose. i am going to beg my doctor not to drop my medication level this month due to the new "guidelines". I cant type anymore because I hurt. Hope to communicate soon.

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@colleenyoung

@thinktherapy - So glad to hear that eating well has greatly improved your mental health. Our physical and mental well-being are so intrinsically intertwined. Similar benefits can be seen for exercise, as many members have stated on this discussion thread:

- Depression and anxiety: Exercise eases symptoms http://mayocl.in/2dcJB7p

But one can't forget that mental health is anything but simple. While diet and exercise can help reduce symptoms, some people benefit from additional therapy and treatments, as the discussions here on Connect demonstrate. Thank goodness we have a community of people willing to share and support one another because, honestly, reducing the stigma that often comes with mental health is really important.

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After combing through all of that information .... well, I'm doomed I guess. Several of those foods I either am highly allergic to or really dislike. I do the best I can, but admittedly, as a 71 year old woman, living alone, I find cooking to be a real chore. It's not fun cooking for 1 person after cooking for a family of 5 for almost 40 years. I know I need to do better, but especially with winter coming, I just have little oomph to do any of that. I do have a light box which I try to sit in front of me - about 18" away from my face - while I eat my breakfast, which I'm told helps with the SAD .... seasonal affective disorder. I honestly don't know if it helps or not as I also take several psychotropics. So, I just get through it and look forward to warm weather again; also drink a bottle of Boost daily.
Abby

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About 7 years ago, I "decided" to try to get off Zoloft. So, I did what I thought was a very slow lowering of the med. I guess it was still too fast because first I got a headache, waited a little longer, then I noticed I was feeling a bit "off kilter" in my walking. I waited again for a little over a week and again reduced it, and then I was really light headed. Well, I finally got off of them, but wow, not fun at all. A few years later my doctor added them once again because they did really work for me (don't ask why I tried to get off before .... sheer stupidity on my part), and they did not work as well. He then told me that when you go off of one of these, often they don't work as well when you try to go back on them.
I really won't change doctors .... I lived in MD for over 30 years, moved here to VA a year ago and I still go up there every other week for therapy and every month to see my Psychiatrist for a med. checkup. I've got a really good one and I'm not about to try to start over with someone new.
Abby

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@susanlorrie

Hang in there. I don't know what your pain level has been but I take a similar amount of a morphine equivalent. I think your comment about weaning off 90mg but then going back on because of the pain is an enlightenment for me. I do have to wean down per doctors instructions to adhere to guidelines, but I don't have to wean all of it. I really want to, but I don't want to get myself it trouble. My husband continues to tell me to take it slow. Let us know how it works out.

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Someone please tell me what CRPS is, and what it does to the body, how it's treated, etc? Thanks much,
Abby

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@susanlorrie

Hang in there. I don't know what your pain level has been but I take a similar amount of a morphine equivalent. I think your comment about weaning off 90mg but then going back on because of the pain is an enlightenment for me. I do have to wean down per doctors instructions to adhere to guidelines, but I don't have to wean all of it. I really want to, but I don't want to get myself it trouble. My husband continues to tell me to take it slow. Let us know how it works out.

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Amber - CRPS stands for complex regional pain syndrome. "Complex regional pain syndrome is an uncommon form of chronic pain that usually affects an arm or a leg. Complex regional pain syndrome typically develops after an injury, surgery, stroke or heart attack, but the pain is out of proportion to the severity of the initial injury." You can read more about CRPS here: http://mayocl.in/1zQNp2b

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