Need help! Depression and anxiety

Posted by pirateking @pirateking, Jul 22, 2016

I don't know where else to go without going to a hospital. I've always had issues with depression and anxiety. It is tough to deal with, but I have a grasp of what it is at least. I've been taking 10MG of Lexapro and 1-1.5 MG of Klonopin to treat it. My psych doctor died in January and I started with a new doctor that upped my Lexapro to 20MG and put me on Buspar for anxiety.

She then decided to take me off the Klonpin. She had me go from 1-1.5 to only .5 a day a month ago and then cut me off. My anxity was already starting to increase that month, and a few days after I stopped the klonopin I faced massive panic attacks among a ton of other issues. It took some begging for help until she eventually put me on .5MG of Atavan but I don't think it is working.

My current symptoms are this horrible brain fog that is impairing my basic functions. I forget things easily, I can't concentrate. It feels like I've literally got dumber. I am clumsier. I keep almost walking into poles and today I almost got run over by a bus. I'm beyond irritable. I almost attacked a man on an elevator because of his breathing, and I've never had such violent thoughts before. I've had brief sucidical thoughts that I had to talk myself out of because I rationally know I don't want to do that.

When I stretch my neck it hurts. It feels like my neck or back is violently ripping in two. I'm having out of body experinces. I am sitting at work and suddenly I am not sure if I am dreaming or not

I also have headaches, I'm pacing constantly. I am having muscle spasims, twitching, my hands tremble.

This is terrifying. I've never felt like this in my entire life and I don't know what is going on. Is it the Buspar? The Atavan? The lack of Klonopin and should I go to the hosptial? My doctor isn't around on the weekends. Any help will be appericated.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@IndianaScott

I don't want to argue here, but I believe it is not the government who got us into the opioid drug mess we are in but the doctors who listened, were namby pamby at first, and went lockstep with big pharma's lies about those drugs. The government is now trying to control the barn door after far too many horses have gotten out.

Just my two cents plain,

Jump to this post

I can miss a few pills also but just try and completely wean yourself off from any Benzo and you're going to have a hell of a time getting off from them. Go to Benzos.org it's an eye opener.

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@IndianaScott

I don't want to argue here, but I believe it is not the government who got us into the opioid drug mess we are in but the doctors who listened, were namby pamby at first, and went lockstep with big pharma's lies about those drugs. The government is now trying to control the barn door after far too many horses have gotten out.

Just my two cents plain,

Jump to this post

Oh wow ... I'll have to look at that. I know withdrawal is awful, but I guess I was under the illusion that it was if you were on higher doses.
Thanks for the info.
Abby

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@nene58

Have had to deal with being depressed since I was young. Have had to deal with it on my own also. Parents did not believe in helping with therapy, Meds. Has been hard to get thru it at times on my own. Ended up in the psych ward a few times, tried to kill myself. On Meds and in therapy again now. When will it ever end? Just want to feel normal for once. I am so tired of therapy and have been trying to get my therapist so mad at me that will will tell me that she can no longer see me. Pushing my family away, pushing everyone as far away from me as possible. Work is becoming so hard to get up to go to. I feel so lost right now and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

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I already take 450mg of Wellbutrin, which, I think, is the maximum. I haven't discussed TMS with a doctor yet, and I'd be willing to do ECT if I could get it closer to home. I don't know if I meet the criteria now, as depression has stabilized. Neuropathy is my current primary issue, and the longer the pain continues and worsens, the more it effects my depression level.

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@jimhd

To the moderators: is there a group here at connect for those who have survived a suicide attempt?

Jump to this post

I finally started a discussion a few minutes ago.

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@IndianaScott

I don't want to argue here, but I believe it is not the government who got us into the opioid drug mess we are in but the doctors who listened, were namby pamby at first, and went lockstep with big pharma's lies about those drugs. The government is now trying to control the barn door after far too many horses have gotten out.

Just my two cents plain,

Jump to this post

Yes and as somebody else mentioned only wean yourself off from drugs with your doctor's help. I've been on meds. for so many years that I'm an expert at weaning myself off from them. I weaned myself off Zoloft which I'd only been on for about a month. When I told my doctor she got very upset and asked me why did I need her. Anyway she dropped me as a patient!

Have an awesome day folks!

REPLY

Hi all! I have been following this discussion with interest. My wife was on a cocktail of medications during her entire 14 year journey with her brain cancer, which was accompanied by chronic pain, sky-high anxiety, and a multitude of other symptoms. Drugs came and went in that regimen, Dosages went up and down. Combinations were attempted, used, and often discarded. With each person and their metabolism being unique it's not always perfect, especially at first. Plus I learned it can take quite awhile for some drugs to achieve a therapeutic level in the blood stream. One of our sacrosanct rules was that we would never alter a dose of her medication without first talking with her doctors and nurses. Perhaps some of this was due to the complexity of her multiple drugs, perhaps some of it was due to her anxiety, but most definitely the vast majority was because we knew the doctors, as a team, were far more knowledgeable on her drugs, their interactions, etc. than we could ever hope to be. If we thought a dosage could be, or needed to be, adjusted we always asked first. Plus if we felt one of her docs was out of the loop or over their head, we queried all her other doctors and nurses for their opinions. We never, ever acted alone or as our own doctors. Plus we can study what we can about our drugs, but still, at least in my case, I know I am not an RN, NP, MD, or PharmD and I don't have access to the same volume of information they do.

Someone mentioned pain pumps and I have to say I do not believe there is one chance in a hundred million billion anyone will ever give out pain pumps for basic home use. I saw them in action in many hospital settings over the years and they needed constant monitoring, incessant maintenance, adjustments, and at times were prone to failures of a variety or types.

As to the new regulations regarding opioids, the abuse numbers of just prescription opioids is astounding, affecting every corner of America, and not always the areas where you might think. It is truly an epidemic in our country and has led far too many onto a life of desperation and loss. No matter who we view as at fault, it is out of control so there are many avenues being pursued to attempt to get a handle on this. And it is not just deaths, but the gigantic increases in ER visits for Rx overdoses, family traumas, costs to our society in general, etc.

Whether we might view it as right or wrong, actions are being taken at points in the stream where chokeholds and reviews can be applied. Yes, they are a PITA at times. I know it was a real hassle when it changed so I could only get my wife's opioid Rx's when she was down to one day's dose, but I understood why. That was actually one of the nicest benefits of home hospice that her Rx's were delivered to us. Also Fentanyl is do dang powerful it is highly sought after for a lot of wrong reasons. Even when my wife was in home hospice I had to carefully account for each patch, pill, and dose and how I disposed of the used patches, oral syringes, etc. was dictated and very specific. There have been cases in our county of people sorting through hospital trash to find used Fentanyl patches to be licked! I was also instructed to be sure to remove every single piece of identifying information before I discarded any pill bottle, pharmacy bag, or bag tag into the garbage stream.

It is a different world out there now and Dr. Welby left the building a long time ago. Yes, much of this affects those of us dealing with chronic pain, but it unfortunately is our new reality.

Just my two cents plain.

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@IndianaScott

I don't want to argue here, but I believe it is not the government who got us into the opioid drug mess we are in but the doctors who listened, were namby pamby at first, and went lockstep with big pharma's lies about those drugs. The government is now trying to control the barn door after far too many horses have gotten out.

Just my two cents plain,

Jump to this post

OMG.......I recently weaned myself off of Zoloft (15yrs) and my doctor was very rude to me and told me I was the most difficult patient she has had to work with in doing so. I will never go back to her. I was beyond upset!

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@jimhd

To the moderators: is there a group here at connect for those who have survived a suicide attempt?

Jump to this post

Jim,
Thank you for starting this important discussion. It is my hope that members here feel safe and welcome to share about their struggles with suicide.

@overwhelmed, you can find Jim's new group here.

- I survived suicide attempts http://mayocl.in/2dw4ZJv

REPLY
@IndianaScott

I don't want to argue here, but I believe it is not the government who got us into the opioid drug mess we are in but the doctors who listened, were namby pamby at first, and went lockstep with big pharma's lies about those drugs. The government is now trying to control the barn door after far too many horses have gotten out.

Just my two cents plain,

Jump to this post

I have had many doctor experiences in my life time some I liked some I did not. As a child I had to go with the doctor that my parents picked. When I turned 18 I took control. I decided about what treatments I would take and the doctor had to talk to me directly even if my parents were there. 60 years later I still have surgeries and medication treatments. But before I do anything the doctor better convince me that the treatment he or she is prescribing is right for me if it is not than this doctor much change is treatment or give me options. It is not right at anytime for a doctor to mistreat you for any reason. You are the patient and a person. As am I if a doctor makes me feel comfortable and can assure me that they are looking for my best interest. Than I will be open for discussions. But I make the final decision. When I look for a doctor. I look for practices that have more than one doctor. So that if I choose to change my doctor I can and more importantly if I need to see a doctor without going to an emergency room I can. So far it works for me. I have gone to ER and allowed my doctor to admit me.. But again if I find out that the treatment was not necessary than it's time to find a new doctor. I know for some people this is tough to do, but maybe with a friend or family and your desire to change you can make the change. My thought is always if it feels right it is or if it feels wrong it is. At least for you. And you are the most important person in this situation. Be strong!

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@IndianaScott

Hi all! I have been following this discussion with interest. My wife was on a cocktail of medications during her entire 14 year journey with her brain cancer, which was accompanied by chronic pain, sky-high anxiety, and a multitude of other symptoms. Drugs came and went in that regimen, Dosages went up and down. Combinations were attempted, used, and often discarded. With each person and their metabolism being unique it's not always perfect, especially at first. Plus I learned it can take quite awhile for some drugs to achieve a therapeutic level in the blood stream. One of our sacrosanct rules was that we would never alter a dose of her medication without first talking with her doctors and nurses. Perhaps some of this was due to the complexity of her multiple drugs, perhaps some of it was due to her anxiety, but most definitely the vast majority was because we knew the doctors, as a team, were far more knowledgeable on her drugs, their interactions, etc. than we could ever hope to be. If we thought a dosage could be, or needed to be, adjusted we always asked first. Plus if we felt one of her docs was out of the loop or over their head, we queried all her other doctors and nurses for their opinions. We never, ever acted alone or as our own doctors. Plus we can study what we can about our drugs, but still, at least in my case, I know I am not an RN, NP, MD, or PharmD and I don't have access to the same volume of information they do.

Someone mentioned pain pumps and I have to say I do not believe there is one chance in a hundred million billion anyone will ever give out pain pumps for basic home use. I saw them in action in many hospital settings over the years and they needed constant monitoring, incessant maintenance, adjustments, and at times were prone to failures of a variety or types.

As to the new regulations regarding opioids, the abuse numbers of just prescription opioids is astounding, affecting every corner of America, and not always the areas where you might think. It is truly an epidemic in our country and has led far too many onto a life of desperation and loss. No matter who we view as at fault, it is out of control so there are many avenues being pursued to attempt to get a handle on this. And it is not just deaths, but the gigantic increases in ER visits for Rx overdoses, family traumas, costs to our society in general, etc.

Whether we might view it as right or wrong, actions are being taken at points in the stream where chokeholds and reviews can be applied. Yes, they are a PITA at times. I know it was a real hassle when it changed so I could only get my wife's opioid Rx's when she was down to one day's dose, but I understood why. That was actually one of the nicest benefits of home hospice that her Rx's were delivered to us. Also Fentanyl is do dang powerful it is highly sought after for a lot of wrong reasons. Even when my wife was in home hospice I had to carefully account for each patch, pill, and dose and how I disposed of the used patches, oral syringes, etc. was dictated and very specific. There have been cases in our county of people sorting through hospital trash to find used Fentanyl patches to be licked! I was also instructed to be sure to remove every single piece of identifying information before I discarded any pill bottle, pharmacy bag, or bag tag into the garbage stream.

It is a different world out there now and Dr. Welby left the building a long time ago. Yes, much of this affects those of us dealing with chronic pain, but it unfortunately is our new reality.

Just my two cents plain.

Jump to this post

I've been taking Morphine sulfate for a few years, and was up to 90mg daily. I weaned off it, with the pain specialist's instructions, but after being off for 3 weeks, I was in too much pain, so I started back on the morphine sulfate, per doctor's instructions. My pcp screwed up the last prescription, and wrote it for 1per day instead of 2, so now I'm sitting in the clinic, waiting for someone to figure it out. My pcp isn't in today. I only have 2 days worth of pills left, so I hope they'll be able to get me going.

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