1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

itchyd | @itchyd | May 18 6:26am
In reply to @shirleyrawlins "THE THREE SYMPTOMS OF LAZINESS: #1" + (show)
@shirleyrawlins

THE THREE SYMPTOMS OF LAZINESS:
#1

Jump to this post

There are only three kinds of people in this world:

Those who can count and those who can't.

REPLY
captboat | @captboat | May 18 6:29am
In reply to @verol65 "Read in another group. What did one toilet say to the other??? You looked flushed!!!" + (show)
@verol65

Read in another group.
What did one toilet say to the other??? You looked flushed!!!

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@verol65
What did one casket say to the other, “is that you coffin”?

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kamama94 | @kamama94 | May 18 9:14am
In reply to @jakedduck1 "Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Long
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.

The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity".

The Angel thanks Dolly and asks Her Majesty the same question.

The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, and drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.

The Angel says, "ok, your Majesty, you may go in".

Dolly is outraged and asked,"What was that all about, I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees into a toilet and she gets in! Would you explain that to me"?

"Sorry Dolly, says the Angel, but even in Heaven A Royal Flush Beats a Pair No Matter How Big They Are"

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Hilarious!

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itchyd | @itchyd | May 18 9:58am
In reply to @shirleyrawlins "THE THREE SYMPTOMS OF LAZINESS: #1" + (show)
@shirleyrawlins

THE THREE SYMPTOMS OF LAZINESS:
#1

Jump to this post

Shirley, you must be joking!

REPLY
itchyd | @itchyd | May 18 10:05am
In reply to @captboat "@verol65 What did one casket say to the other, “is that you coffin”?" + (show)
@captboat

@verol65
What did one casket say to the other, “is that you coffin”?

Jump to this post

When Van Helsing impaled Count Dracula, he had to make sure that he got him right in the heart and didn't just hit him in the sternum.

He was playing high stakes poker.

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itchyd | @itchyd | May 18 12:43pm
In reply to @captboat "@verol65 What did one casket say to the other, “is that you coffin”?" + (show)
@captboat

@verol65
What did one casket say to the other, “is that you coffin”?

Jump to this post

When Maia, Tut's wet nurse, died, the chief mummifier was tasked with presenting the pharaoh with a list of everything that would be accompanying her into the afterlife: her dishes, articles of clothing and other mundane items, as well as her pets.

The mummifier reluctantly handed Tut the list and, when asked if it was complete and accurate, sheepishly proclaimed, "Your Majesty, Im pretty darn sure that all Tees are crossed and Eyes dotted, accepting a missing cat or two."

Tut then crassly responded, "My dear subject, I don't know WHAT you're interring by that comment!"

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itchyd | @itchyd | May 18 12:56pm
In reply to @rosemarya "Scott, I don't know if this has been shared recently, but I can't resist sharing it..." + (show)
@rosemarya

Scott, I don't know if this has been shared recently, but I can't resist sharing it now.
This was posted on a sign that I saw while driving the backroads:

I have a horse.
His name is Mayo.
Mayo neighs!

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I heard that's true only whinny feels like it.

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itchyd | @itchyd | May 18 1:04pm

I was planning on opening a restaurant. But, I decided not to because my accountant told me that the industry was dine out.

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kamama94 | @kamama94 | May 18 1:18pm

I love the phrase, "Bear with me" because it could mean either "Please be patient" or "The heist at the zoo was a success."

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kamama94 | @kamama94 | May 18 1:21pm

A man in a shoe shop tried on a shoe and told the assistant, "It's too tight."

The assistant said, "Try putting it on with the tongue out."

The man replied, "Doethn't work, it'th thtill too tight."

REPLY
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