~ Whining again: Mistake when I moved here ~

Posted by .harp player @amberpep, May 18, 2019

I’m sorry I’m whining again, so I’ll apologize right out. No one seems to answer so I think this venting is just more for me. I hate this place ….. I am so sorry I moved to VA. I should have stayed in MD where I was happy, had my own condo, and pleasant environment and people around me ….. here, nothing at all like it. I made a big mistake when I moved here. I hate the thought of living here for the duration.
abby

Good morning @amberpep . I’m so sorry the move hasn’t worked out as you wanted. What have you done to get involved in your community? Maybe try to get involved with those groups that help seniors who also feel alone and isolated. I looked at one this morning that has volunteers doing weekly, small grocery trips for seniors.
You know, I moved 16 times in my married life and sometimes I just hated where I was. But, I was stuck until we moved again. 🥴. I always tried to find at least one thing that would get me out. One person, one activity. Then I began to slowly meet others and things improved. I really hope you’ll look around. I know it’s hard, but it’s doable and worth it. You can always whine to us!

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@becsbuddy

Good morning @amberpep . I’m so sorry the move hasn’t worked out as you wanted. What have you done to get involved in your community? Maybe try to get involved with those groups that help seniors who also feel alone and isolated. I looked at one this morning that has volunteers doing weekly, small grocery trips for seniors.
You know, I moved 16 times in my married life and sometimes I just hated where I was. But, I was stuck until we moved again. 🥴. I always tried to find at least one thing that would get me out. One person, one activity. Then I began to slowly meet others and things improved. I really hope you’ll look around. I know it’s hard, but it’s doable and worth it. You can always whine to us!

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Good thoughts, @becsbuddy!

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@amberpep There must be at least one positive thing in your new environment. You get to see your grandchildren more than you would have staying in Maryland, correct? So that is a positive. Can you build on that? Can you volunteer at their school or get somehow involved with a group that you find interesting? Almost any town has people who need some help or assistance. Or groups that gather together for similar hobbies and such. Please take time to look for these groups. Something that will help make a difference not only in their life but in yours. I know from experience that needing to feel needed is critical. Just remember that you come first and your mental well-being has to be paramount so that you don't get too involved.
Ginger

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There are those times we need to persevere and settle for what we have and not what we want. Not an easy task.

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Point well taken, @parus.
"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

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@parus

There are those times we need to persevere and settle for what we have and not what we want. Not an easy task.

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@parus. I really like your statement! We also need to accept what we have and then do our best! Thank you!

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I like that quote by MLK. I have gotten involved in a new start-up Western Ortho. Church, which will hopefully lead to friendships as it did when I was in MD. I also am going to a group called Transitions, for people who have been in therapy but who need a bit more help getting acclimated and making the necessary changes. It's amazing when you're in a group of hurting people how quickly and openly you bond. I've only been there 2x and I already feel safe. That won't go on forever, but for now, it's good. Re. my grandkids, I really don't see them too often. I didn't know them when they were in their early formative years, and now that they're 14 and 9, they're very close to my X – who only lives 20 min. away ….. THAT I didn't realize until I got here. I thought he was much farther away. So, I've decided to only go to Christmas, my grandkids birthdays, and that's it. He's always there, and as such, just takes over ….. he's just "Mr. Wonderful" ….. being a narcissist. When I see him I have the urge to tell him "what for" or smack his head. But, I won't …. I just stay away from him. I'm still contemplating reopening the alimony portion of our divorce and have that evaluated.
abby

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Hi @amberpep

The new church start-up as well as the Transitions group sounds just ideal for you. Church and support groups have always helped me to see beyond myself and my disappointments and have helped me put it all in perspective. I hope that it does the same for you.

It sounds like you've set some good boundaries with the time you have set to see "Mr. Wonderful." Good for you. I know it isn't easy.

Here is a new MLK quote for you, I hope you like it: "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

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@hopeful33250

Hi @amberpep

The new church start-up as well as the Transitions group sounds just ideal for you. Church and support groups have always helped me to see beyond myself and my disappointments and have helped me put it all in perspective. I hope that it does the same for you.

It sounds like you've set some good boundaries with the time you have set to see "Mr. Wonderful." Good for you. I know it isn't easy.

Here is a new MLK quote for you, I hope you like it: "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

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@hopeful33250 Hi Teresa, I really like those MLK quotes! Are you getting them from a book?……Karen

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@karen00 No, not a book. However, there are books of inspirational quotes, probably your library might have a book like that.

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@hopeful33250

@karen00 No, not a book. However, there are books of inspirational quotes, probably your library might have a book like that.

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I've been to the "Transitions" group twice now, and I can already tell that, even though nothing has changed for me around here, it is definitely going to help me see things in a more positive way and learn to appreciate my new home turf. After all, I am right at the bottom of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and I know a lot of folks would love that. I do to, sort of, but I trust that this Transitions group is really going to help me learn to have a different way of looking at things. I thank God for that.
I still am debating whether or not to reopen the alimony portion of our divorce. If he had not been so nasty when I asked him for help, just one time, I probably wouldn't be thinking this way. But the way he spoke to me set off all kinds of alarms. I don't want to mess up our family, but at the same time I don't think he should be allowed to get away with that type of attitude toward me. After all, I am the mother of his 3, healthy, well-adjusted kids.
abby

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@amberpep

I've been to the "Transitions" group twice now, and I can already tell that, even though nothing has changed for me around here, it is definitely going to help me see things in a more positive way and learn to appreciate my new home turf. After all, I am right at the bottom of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and I know a lot of folks would love that. I do to, sort of, but I trust that this Transitions group is really going to help me learn to have a different way of looking at things. I thank God for that.
I still am debating whether or not to reopen the alimony portion of our divorce. If he had not been so nasty when I asked him for help, just one time, I probably wouldn't be thinking this way. But the way he spoke to me set off all kinds of alarms. I don't want to mess up our family, but at the same time I don't think he should be allowed to get away with that type of attitude toward me. After all, I am the mother of his 3, healthy, well-adjusted kids.
abby

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@amberpep Yeppers, you certainly are transitioning, and the group is so appropriately named for you! I am sure you will make the correct decision regarding the alimony issue. After all, you need to watch out for yourself first. If you hurt the feelings of your ex, so be it.
Ginger

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@amberpep

I've been to the "Transitions" group twice now, and I can already tell that, even though nothing has changed for me around here, it is definitely going to help me see things in a more positive way and learn to appreciate my new home turf. After all, I am right at the bottom of the Blue Ridge Mountains, and I know a lot of folks would love that. I do to, sort of, but I trust that this Transitions group is really going to help me learn to have a different way of looking at things. I thank God for that.
I still am debating whether or not to reopen the alimony portion of our divorce. If he had not been so nasty when I asked him for help, just one time, I probably wouldn't be thinking this way. But the way he spoke to me set off all kinds of alarms. I don't want to mess up our family, but at the same time I don't think he should be allowed to get away with that type of attitude toward me. After all, I am the mother of his 3, healthy, well-adjusted kids.
abby

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@amberpep. I’m so happy to hear that the Transitions group is working for you! Yea! And good luck working with your ex

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@amberpep Good news. Hope this group continues to be helpful to you.

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@hopeful33250

Hi @amberpep

The new church start-up as well as the Transitions group sounds just ideal for you. Church and support groups have always helped me to see beyond myself and my disappointments and have helped me put it all in perspective. I hope that it does the same for you.

It sounds like you've set some good boundaries with the time you have set to see "Mr. Wonderful." Good for you. I know it isn't easy.

Here is a new MLK quote for you, I hope you like it: "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

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I really like that quote by MLK Teresa …. I'm going to write that down …. it's a keeper.
abby

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