What do you do when someone is in denial about their hearing loss?

Posted by mari @mari, Jan 16, 2020

I was reading on here about BFF and mates Refusing to get tested when their hearing is really bad – their frustration. Where are those posts?

No they have not – so same problems. Why can't SUBJECT LINE B CHANGED? to: Your interaction with Others that are in Denial?

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@mari

No they have not – so same problems. Why can't SUBJECT LINE B CHANGED? to: Your interaction with Others that are in Denial?

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Great suggestion, @mari. I changed the title of this discussion to "What do you do when someone is in denial about their hearing loss?"

I'm sorry that your friend remains in denial about their hearing loss. Members gave great suggestions in this discussion. Did you try any of them?

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@colleenyoung

Hi @mari, I couldn't find those posts either, but this is a great topic to get started. Do you have a friend or partner who you suspect has hearing loss, but they refuse to get tested?

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My dad was in denial about his hearing loss for about 20 years, most of it after I had left home for college. The burden of living with a hard-of-hearing family member fell disproportionately on my mom, who was left at home alone with him. She grew increasingly bitter about it over the years–not because of his disability but his refusal to do anything about it. They would get into screaming arguments about it. His stubborn denial took a huge toll on their marriage. Years and years later, he finally got hearing aids, but by then he couldn't adjust to them and seldom wore them.

So if you are looking for symptoms of hearing loss, don't just consider the person's frequent mistakes about what is going on around them, and their missing of social cues, but check out the state of their relationships with family and friends (probably dangerously frayed), and their growing social isolation. In my family, hearing loss was a hideous disability.

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@ner

My dad was in denial about his hearing loss for about 20 years, most of it after I had left home for college. The burden of living with a hard-of-hearing family member fell disproportionately on my mom, who was left at home alone with him. She grew increasingly bitter about it over the years–not because of his disability but his refusal to do anything about it. They would get into screaming arguments about it. His stubborn denial took a huge toll on their marriage. Years and years later, he finally got hearing aids, but by then he couldn't adjust to them and seldom wore them.

So if you are looking for symptoms of hearing loss, don't just consider the person's frequent mistakes about what is going on around them, and their missing of social cues, but check out the state of their relationships with family and friends (probably dangerously frayed), and their growing social isolation. In my family, hearing loss was a hideous disability.

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In hindsight, this was a contributing factor in my parent's divorce after 29 years of marriage. Dad had hearing loss and didn't hear Mom, she thought he was just ignoring her. (More to it of course). Divorced, he got HA, remarried and lived a long life with HA. Now I have HA and better understand my Dad. He blamed it on WWII artillery, but since my brother and I both have hearing loss, it must be congenital.

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