What do you do when someone is in denial about their hearing loss?

In response to the posts about the "stigma" of wearing aids: First, think back to what people had to wear during the 40s and 50s: my dad was profoundly deaf and wore a 1"x3"x4" aid in a harness in the center of his chest before the "radical" new aids in clunky eyeglass bows came into being. We learned to speak to his chest! Not only did he have a huge lump on his chest, but a very visible cord coming out of his collar up to the one ear that the aid worked with. Everyone in the room could hear the frequent feedback squeals, too! He had to be careful...couldn't wear the popular nylon dress shirts of the day as they rubbed against the aid enough to make it impossible for him to hear at all.

Also, I was terribly near-sighted all my life, almost legally blind, until I had cataract surgery. Being visually impaired to that extent is also very isolating and a problem, especially after Meniere's removed useful hearing from one side during my 40s. Near blindness is also a social problem as well as a problem seeing what's around you. Following cataract surgery, I initially had, believe it or not, 20/20 vision. It has deteriorated slightly, but I'm still legal to drive without glasses. Every morning, I wake up, look out my window and see leaves on trees and am soooo grateful! I still wear glasses all day, because the astigmatism resulting from severe near-sightedness (i.e., my eyeballs are misshapen because I didn't spend the additional $2,000 per eye to have that corrected) makes walking without glasses lead to having a full-blown Meniere's crisis, which, although it's a great way to lose weight, is not anything I want to experience again. And, of course, I also have presbyopia, because I'm older than dirt, so need glasses to read or do close work.

Due to having gone bilateral with Meniere's last May 24, I've found it virtually impossible recently to understand, even though I can hear sound with the aid in what used to be my hearing ear. Meniere's adds recruitment (sharp sounds actually are painful) and distortion (you can hear that someone's speaking, but it's just a rumble of noise without any discernible words), plus it fluctuates from hour to hour. Some days I can hear at least every other word spoken and piece together what I see and hear, but most of the time I cannot understand, even when attempting to "get" what the person right in front of me is saying. This makes is additionally difficult, as people can't understand why I heard them enough to get at least the main points yesterday but can't get a clue today. I've worn an aid in my "good" ear for a couple of years as age-related deafness made it increasingly difficult to hear, but now I've had lots of days where wearing it only increases the godawful bad noise...on top of different tinnitus in both ears.

I made an appt. with my gal at Costco, had to wait three weeks, but, WOW! Yesterday is the start of a new life for me! A quick test determined that I had lost, ahem, 20 decibels from a year ago. She gave me a temporary new, stronger mic in the new ear piece that still feels "too big" but does a better job of delivering sound. She has ordered a whole new earpiece and will call me as soon as it arrives--all at zero cost to me, even though it's MY problem, not the aid's problem. We talked about the possibility of a CI for my long-useless ear and how I would probably qualify for one now (failed to qualify six months ago by understanding 55% of simple sentences in a sound booth). On the hour-plus drive home, I was able to listen to a discussion program on the radio for the first time in months, plus, as I got closer to home and had to change stations, could actually hear and understand music for the first time in almost a year!!!! I hope that this will make it possible for me to actually hear during small group meetings as I'm active in three different organizations. EXCITING! I left with a provisional appt. for Sunday in case everything's too loud, but, several hours later, I'm one happy camper. The new earpiece may be too much for the rare good days, but I'll worry about that when when happens.

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Wow Joyce! You are truly an inspiration to those who have hearing difficulties!I think that individuals need to continue doing whatever it takes to make sure they try every possible means to keep hearing! Speaking of organizations I to belong to 3 different ones...two of them I am the secretary! I told both of these boards that my hearing comprehension was roughly 50% and that the minutes of the meetings would be 2 pages instead of 4 they all shrugged their shoulders and said that's fine!!!! Of course no one else wanted to do it! LOL! Have a nice day and keep up the effort!
Scott

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She is not avoiding helping herself, it just looks that way. Let her know you love her and that you see how scary her world has become for her. She is afraid and the world isn't making sense anymore. I hope she is in a safe situation with loving caregivers who can take the time to coax her into taking the meds and using the HAs. You're such an amazing daughter, you care so deeply. Breathe through the hard moments, celebrate the decent moments and take good care of yourself.

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I posted on Jan. 16, re BFF - The subject matter has shifted - yet the Subject on my emails from u - still say my same topic - I open mail. And no one is posting about BFF Reluctance/ refusal to get hearing test. Why can't SUBJECT LINE B CHANGED?

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No they have not - so same problems. Why can't SUBJECT LINE B CHANGED? to: Your interaction with Others that are in Denial?

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Hi @mari, I couldn't find those posts either, but this is a great topic to get started. Do you have a friend or partner who you suspect has hearing loss, but they refuse to get tested?

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My dad was in denial about his hearing loss for about 20 years, most of it after I had left home for college. The burden of living with a hard-of-hearing family member fell disproportionately on my mom, who was left at home alone with him. She grew increasingly bitter about it over the years--not because of his disability but his refusal to do anything about it. They would get into screaming arguments about it. His stubborn denial took a huge toll on their marriage. Years and years later, he finally got hearing aids, but by then he couldn't adjust to them and seldom wore them.

So if you are looking for symptoms of hearing loss, don't just consider the person's frequent mistakes about what is going on around them, and their missing of social cues, but check out the state of their relationships with family and friends (probably dangerously frayed), and their growing social isolation. In my family, hearing loss was a hideous disability.

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