1. < Depression & Anxiety

What IS the point? Adult kids don't seem to care.

Posted by nousername @nousername, Dec 25, 2021

Adult kids don’t care to see us. Don’t even bother to text. We’ve been nothing but generous and helpful. I built my life around them. Big mistake. Don’t talk about God or faith. I don’t know a single person who could deal with my life. What’s the point in trying to feel better? Yes, I know it could be way worse.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Parus | @parus | Dec 30, 2021
In reply to @colleenyoung "Parus, I'm so glad that you refer back to the "Why bother?" discussion you started. Allow..." + (show)
@colleenyoung

Parus, I'm so glad that you refer back to the "Why bother?" discussion you started. Allow me to insert the link to it here:
- "WHY BOTHER?" What can we do when we are stuck? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/why-bother-what-can-we-do-when-we-are-stuck/

I especially like your question in that discussion asking for ways to get unstuck. You asked:
"...maybe some can share how we get out of a rut to help ourselves. We all get stuck stuck at times. Curious as to what others do when stuck in that thought mode of 'Why Bother?'"

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@colleenyoung Hello there!! Thanks for verifying. Whew...I can still remember. Wishing you a good New Year. Appreciate all you do. Not here as much as I would like to be. Still stop by though.

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1 reply
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Dec 30, 2021
In reply to @parus "@colleenyoung Hello there!! Thanks for verifying. Whew...I can still remember. Wishing you a good New Year...." + (show)
@parus

@colleenyoung Hello there!! Thanks for verifying. Whew...I can still remember. Wishing you a good New Year. Appreciate all you do. Not here as much as I would like to be. Still stop by though.

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@parus I am glad you stopped by! You're so right. When we are at that precipice, our thoughts are clouded up and it seems we can only see one solution. Often, sitting back and allow deep breathing, allow ourselves to unwind somehow, to see from another's view, may help us. Reach out. If we have experienced the sadness of suicide in family or friends, reflect on how it made us feel. Would we want that for someone else?

@colleenyoung Thank you for finding that link.
Ginger

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anonymous-260206 | @anonymous260206 | Dec 30, 2021

I attempted suicide many times; obviously did not succeed. Yesterday, I realized that I did it out of anger, that at times I wanted to punish myself and other times my mother. Today I wish she were still here so that I could ask for her forgiveness; I have forgiven myself, yes, I am worthy of living, and when times are tough I ask for help and do not wish to punish myself by attempting suicide.

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Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Dec 30, 2021
In reply to @anonymous260206 "I attempted suicide many times; obviously did not succeed. Yesterday, I realized that I did it..." + (show)
@anonymous260206

I attempted suicide many times; obviously did not succeed. Yesterday, I realized that I did it out of anger, that at times I wanted to punish myself and other times my mother. Today I wish she were still here so that I could ask for her forgiveness; I have forgiven myself, yes, I am worthy of living, and when times are tough I ask for help and do not wish to punish myself by attempting suicide.

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@nannette2022 I wonder if writing a letter to your mother would have the same effect? It is the turning of the year, and an opportunity to start a new path if we care to. We never know where that help may come from when we ask for it. Having our senses open to seeing/hearing/understanding the aid being offered can be difficult, but we need to get out of our own way, don't you think?
Ginger

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1 reply
anonymous-260206 | @anonymous260206 | Dec 30, 2021
In reply to @gingerw "@nannette2022 I wonder if writing a letter to your mother would have the same effect? It..." + (show)
@gingerw

@nannette2022 I wonder if writing a letter to your mother would have the same effect? It is the turning of the year, and an opportunity to start a new path if we care to. We never know where that help may come from when we ask for it. Having our senses open to seeing/hearing/understanding the aid being offered can be difficult, but we need to get out of our own way, don't you think?
Ginger

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Ginger, my mother is dead. I do not know if it is the new year coming, or finding out that I may have diabetes, almost died of high blood pressure (220/140) and realizing that I did not want to die really. But Ginger I feel so lonely, in my neighborhood everyone has a family, those who do not have a family, are successful, so people want to be with them. I have been nasty, arrogant, and I am French -- No one else is French here in the circle where I live. I wish I could do it over, I wish people would forgive me when I ask to be forgiven, but the answer is always "I am not interested in talking with you, you should have thought about it before..." So this group is what I am hanging on to. Honestly, there is no one else.

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Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Dec 31, 2021
In reply to @anonymous260206 "Ginger, my mother is dead. I do not know if it is the new year coming,..." + (show)
@anonymous260206

Ginger, my mother is dead. I do not know if it is the new year coming, or finding out that I may have diabetes, almost died of high blood pressure (220/140) and realizing that I did not want to die really. But Ginger I feel so lonely, in my neighborhood everyone has a family, those who do not have a family, are successful, so people want to be with them. I have been nasty, arrogant, and I am French -- No one else is French here in the circle where I live. I wish I could do it over, I wish people would forgive me when I ask to be forgiven, but the answer is always "I am not interested in talking with you, you should have thought about it before..." So this group is what I am hanging on to. Honestly, there is no one else.

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Hello @nannette2022

I am glad that you are here, too! Connect is a great way to write what you feel.

Since you understand how it feels to be alone, I wish you a "hopeful" 2022 so that you find a way to give someone else encouraging words.

Connect is a great place to start giving encouraging words!

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Parus | @parus | Dec 31, 2021
In reply to @anonymous260206 "Ginger, my mother is dead. I do not know if it is the new year coming,..." + (show)
@anonymous260206

Ginger, my mother is dead. I do not know if it is the new year coming, or finding out that I may have diabetes, almost died of high blood pressure (220/140) and realizing that I did not want to die really. But Ginger I feel so lonely, in my neighborhood everyone has a family, those who do not have a family, are successful, so people want to be with them. I have been nasty, arrogant, and I am French -- No one else is French here in the circle where I live. I wish I could do it over, I wish people would forgive me when I ask to be forgiven, but the answer is always "I am not interested in talking with you, you should have thought about it before..." So this group is what I am hanging on to. Honestly, there is no one else.

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@nannette2022 A supportive place to hang on. Loneliness can feel so desperate and rejected.

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Zuzu | @eczarniecki | Jan 7, 2022

Hello. I know what it feels like to be alone. I don’t know how old you are but that may not matter. I am 71. Do you have a hobby? I find it enormously helpful because when I am happy with what I do it gives me a spiritual lift. That can’t help with the loneliness. The family I have nearby has written me off because they have imagined meanness on my part. It would be laughable except that it is painful to be alone. But the truth is that they’re growing up in my family at large with the grief we have all experienced has had a isolating affect on them. They want to shield them selves from any possible disappointment from others. Their wealth also insulates them since they have many opportunities to travel and purchase things for themselves. Whatever the reason is that you cannot find friends where you are planted consider a hobby and also join groups like meet up. There are lots of groups and they all follow certain interests which can help too. If you have relatives that you like or can’t even tolerate you might consider moving closer to them especially if you are older. I have found it is very scary to suddenly get very sick and not have anyone who would help you. Finally if you believe in a higher power or God discussions with that person I think we’re good. After all we can only do so much and we can’t cover all our needs.

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3 replies
Zuzu | @eczarniecki | Jan 7, 2022
In reply to @eczarniecki "Hello. I know what it feels like to be alone. I don’t know how old you..." + (show)
@eczarniecki

Hello. I know what it feels like to be alone. I don’t know how old you are but that may not matter. I am 71. Do you have a hobby? I find it enormously helpful because when I am happy with what I do it gives me a spiritual lift. That can’t help with the loneliness. The family I have nearby has written me off because they have imagined meanness on my part. It would be laughable except that it is painful to be alone. But the truth is that they’re growing up in my family at large with the grief we have all experienced has had a isolating affect on them. They want to shield them selves from any possible disappointment from others. Their wealth also insulates them since they have many opportunities to travel and purchase things for themselves. Whatever the reason is that you cannot find friends where you are planted consider a hobby and also join groups like meet up. There are lots of groups and they all follow certain interests which can help too. If you have relatives that you like or can’t even tolerate you might consider moving closer to them especially if you are older. I have found it is very scary to suddenly get very sick and not have anyone who would help you. Finally if you believe in a higher power or God discussions with that person I think we’re good. After all we can only do so much and we can’t cover all our needs.

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This is easy again. After posting and then reading my comment I see many errors. I translate my comments for speed but can help often comes out as can’t help. Sorry. I hope you will read the message as encouraging.

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Jan 7, 2022
In reply to @eczarniecki "Hello. I know what it feels like to be alone. I don’t know how old you..." + (show)
@eczarniecki

Hello. I know what it feels like to be alone. I don’t know how old you are but that may not matter. I am 71. Do you have a hobby? I find it enormously helpful because when I am happy with what I do it gives me a spiritual lift. That can’t help with the loneliness. The family I have nearby has written me off because they have imagined meanness on my part. It would be laughable except that it is painful to be alone. But the truth is that they’re growing up in my family at large with the grief we have all experienced has had a isolating affect on them. They want to shield them selves from any possible disappointment from others. Their wealth also insulates them since they have many opportunities to travel and purchase things for themselves. Whatever the reason is that you cannot find friends where you are planted consider a hobby and also join groups like meet up. There are lots of groups and they all follow certain interests which can help too. If you have relatives that you like or can’t even tolerate you might consider moving closer to them especially if you are older. I have found it is very scary to suddenly get very sick and not have anyone who would help you. Finally if you believe in a higher power or God discussions with that person I think we’re good. After all we can only do so much and we can’t cover all our needs.

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@eczarniecki Your thoughts came through clearly, thank you. And thank you for telling us about what has worked for you. We each have our own experiences, and it is good to share what has been helpful, because we get to see just how many options we have!

What hobbies do you participate in, that lets you connect with others?
Ginger

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