1. < Just Want to Talk

Lonely and Just want to talk with virtual friends here

Posted by EllAmster @ellamster, Jun 6, 2022

Due to 'life' I never had the opportunity to make friends. I hardly ever went out, am single, and feel desperately lonely. I can take care of myself and always have but have learned my caring skills weren't particularly good. They kept me alive but I have not lived.
No holidays, trips, bar, no beach or forest, nothing. And no friends to go out with or to simply have a chat.
I still work and I think my clients would be perplexed. They know me as a sunny and mischievous teacher who pulls their legs so they learn more, and trick them into doing things wrong to help understand it all even better. Little do they know. I am very alone and lonely. Being alone is not that big of a biggie: I know how to do that. But the loneliness is hollowing me out.
I wondered about making friends. I never had friends, I feel very awkward about friendship. I miss the person I am with clients in my daily life. I really would like someone to chat with. It would be so nice to even fall in love. To feel I am being loved. I never had that. It's so strange to realise so many are loved; is it normal to be loved, to find someone who loves you? Or is it the golden shine of being lucky and blessed enough to find this?

It would do me a lot of good to find people to chat with. Video for instance would be nice to get to know people. To chat, have a virtual cup of tea, or a real one of course! And to not be too ashamed of myself to hide behind the smiles and fun but to open up and maybe one day even be accepted.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

EllAmster | @ellamster | Oct 14, 2022
In reply to @patbrennan "@ellamster I felt close to tears reading your story. I have been close to where you..." + (show)
@patbrennan

@ellamster
I felt close to tears reading your story. I have been close to where you are, and I finally found my answer. It was church and the fantastic women I've met there have loved on me so. My husband and I were looking for a new church and found one with a lot going on. In my case, I was uncomfortable with the young women with babies but I did give another, older perspective in our group studies. This church also had an "Over 50" group of women where I fit perfectly! We created a group called "FAB" (Fantastic Over 50) and meet in the church's open area every other month. I felt like the only person there who hadn't studied the Bible all my life, but no, I wasn't. We are all learning. We have Meal Trains for anyone who is sick and meet offsite at different homes, sometimes with a bottle of wine to talk about whatever anyone wants/needs. I worked with all men for many years in construction. When it was time to go home or just go for a drink after work it was with the guys. I didn't have women friends to sit with, celebrate a promotion or cry with about the difficult or the happy occasions. I recommend church/synagogue or a support group in your area. Check out the groups. Talk to the Pastor or person in charge of Adult Ministries. You never know, you might find more than just an earthly friend!

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It's really all about feeling loved, being loved, and to have the feeling that one's life matters ❤️

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2 replies
EllAmster | @ellamster | Oct 14, 2022
In reply to @siackma "I haven't gotten used to the loneliness yet. I have three kids that they are all..." + (show)
@siackma

I haven't gotten used to the loneliness yet. I have three kids that they are all busy with their own life. I do talk to the oldest one and my four-year-old grandson. They don't really have a lot of time for me. I am 66 years old. Sometimes I feel like I'm 86. I hear being isolated makes you a little strange in my head. It's a good thing I got my doggies.😊

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I am not used to it either. I have no partner and no children. I would have lived both and I did love the bad one until he killed my love. I then had the cats, four of them, and lost three. The fourth one didn't leave their sides as they were dying, I have pictures of that. And he takes care of me, always wanting to help with his entire heart ♥️

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1 reply
siackma | @siackma | Oct 14, 2022
In reply to @ellamster "I am not used to it either. I have no partner and no children. I would..." + (show)
@ellamster

I am not used to it either. I have no partner and no children. I would have lived both and I did love the bad one until he killed my love. I then had the cats, four of them, and lost three. The fourth one didn't leave their sides as they were dying, I have pictures of that. And he takes care of me, always wanting to help with his entire heart ♥️

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I'm sorry that he killed your love. I know how that feels also. I hope I can become as Brave as you seem to be. Hugs for you.

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marjou | @marjou | Oct 14, 2022
In reply to @ellamster "It's really all about feeling loved, being loved, and to have the feeling that one's life..." + (show)
@ellamster

It's really all about feeling loved, being loved, and to have the feeling that one's life matters ❤️

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@ellamster Agree

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feliciaus | @feliciaus | Oct 14, 2022
In reply to @IndianaScott "Hello, @siackma When I lost my wife loneliness was, and at times continues to be, a..." + (show)
@IndianaScott

Hello, @siackma When I lost my wife loneliness was, and at times continues to be, a challenge.

While not for everyone, I decided to begin a "To Do" list of things I hadn't been able to do while caregiving, put off, etc. Most are small, but they vary in size and importance. A few examples were to see the home our son moved to in another state, write a letter to a friend of old who I'd fallen out of touch with, touch up the wall and baseboard nicks from the wheelchair, discover a new author, et.

Then I made the pledge to myself that I'd never check one off the list without adding a new one to the bottom. Not only did I get a bunch of things done, but I found I got a lot of happiness and satisfaction from completing each one, it fought my feelings of loneliness, and gave me a sense of accomplishment. It also put me in charge of my happiness that has stood me well.

Just an idea that worked for me.
Strength, Courage, & Peace

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@IndianaScott Great examples to motivate others. Thank you, Sir!

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feliciaus | @feliciaus | Oct 14, 2022
In reply to @ellamster "It's really all about feeling loved, being loved, and to have the feeling that one's life..." + (show)
@ellamster

It's really all about feeling loved, being loved, and to have the feeling that one's life matters ❤️

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Where do I find emojis? Thank you.

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1 reply
Mentor
Helen, Volunteer Mentor | @naturegirl5 | Oct 15, 2022
In reply to @feliciaus "Where do I find emojis? Thank you." + (show)
@feliciaus

Where do I find emojis? Thank you.

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@feliciaus I am tagging @johnbishop as he may know how to help.

Are you using an IPad? A smartphone? Or a laptop with Windows? It will help to know what device you are using.

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1 reply
Mentor
John, Volunteer Mentor | @johnbishop | Oct 15, 2022
In reply to @naturegirl5 "@feliciaus I am tagging @johnbishop as he may know how to help. Are you using an..." + (show)
@naturegirl5

@feliciaus I am tagging @johnbishop as he may know how to help.

Are you using an IPad? A smartphone? Or a laptop with Windows? It will help to know what device you are using.

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Hi Helen, In case anyone else is curious on emojis - I think the right click menu may depend on being on a Windows 11 desktop computer using U.S. language set but not sure. Here's the info I posted in another discussion on the question:

During text entry, hold down the Windows logo key and then press the period key. The emoji keyboard will appear. — https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/windows-keyboard-tips-and-tricks-588e0b72-0fff-6d3f-aeee-6e5116097942

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1 reply
Mentor
Helen, Volunteer Mentor | @naturegirl5 | Oct 15, 2022
In reply to @johnbishop "Hi Helen, In case anyone else is curious on emojis - I think the right click..." + (show)
@johnbishop

Hi Helen, In case anyone else is curious on emojis - I think the right click menu may depend on being on a Windows 11 desktop computer using U.S. language set but not sure. Here's the info I posted in another discussion on the question:

During text entry, hold down the Windows logo key and then press the period key. The emoji keyboard will appear. — https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/windows-keyboard-tips-and-tricks-588e0b72-0fff-6d3f-aeee-6e5116097942

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Thank you, John. That link will help too.

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blazeinatl | @blazeinatl | Oct 19, 2022

I feel the same. I'm open to a cyber friendship.
Blaze in atl.

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