Lonely and Just want to talk with virtual friends here

Posted by EllAmster @ellamster, Jun 6, 2022

Due to 'life' I never had the opportunity to make friends. I hardly ever went out, am single, and feel desperately lonely. I can take care of myself and always have but have learned my caring skills weren't particularly good. They kept me alive but I have not lived.
No holidays, trips, bar, no beach or forest, nothing. And no friends to go out with or to simply have a chat.
I still work and I think my clients would be perplexed. They know me as a sunny and mischievous teacher who pulls their legs so they learn more, and trick them into doing things wrong to help understand it all even better. Little do they know. I am very alone and lonely. Being alone is not that big of a biggie: I know how to do that. But the loneliness is hollowing me out.
I wondered about making friends. I never had friends, I feel very awkward about friendship. I miss the person I am with clients in my daily life. I really would like someone to chat with. It would be so nice to even fall in love. To feel I am being loved. I never had that. It's so strange to realise so many are loved; is it normal to be loved, to find someone who loves you? Or is it the golden shine of being lucky and blessed enough to find this?

It would do me a lot of good to find people to chat with. Video for instance would be nice to get to know people. To chat, have a virtual cup of tea, or a real one of course! And to not be too ashamed of myself to hide behind the smiles and fun but to open up and maybe one day even be accepted.

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I am incredibly lonely also. I spend almost every day entirely by myself except for my four dogs. And a husband who is mostly never here and when he is watches TV. I really given up on that relationship and accepted that. But all the same it would be wonderful to talk to or chat with you anytime.

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@siackma

I am incredibly lonely also. I spend almost every day entirely by myself except for my four dogs. And a husband who is mostly never here and when he is watches TV. I really given up on that relationship and accepted that. But all the same it would be wonderful to talk to or chat with you anytime.

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Hello and happy Thursday!
It’s 5AM and I got up early to take my prednisone. I’m going back to bed now. If you want to chat, I will be happy to chat with you later! 😴

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@siackma

I am incredibly lonely also. I spend almost every day entirely by myself except for my four dogs. And a husband who is mostly never here and when he is watches TV. I really given up on that relationship and accepted that. But all the same it would be wonderful to talk to or chat with you anytime.

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Oh, that reminds me of my own relationship. He was in his room all the time when he was home and I had to knock on his door if I had to talk to him. He would sigh loudly and even growl if I did. I usually only knocked if someone called him because he didn't want a phone in his room, I tended to it. It felt lonely and then I got used to it, after which I was glad to not have interaction with him because he was a loose cannon to say the least. I too had my animals. I love them more 😻

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@ellamster
I felt close to tears reading your story. I have been close to where you are, and I finally found my answer. It was church and the fantastic women I've met there have loved on me so. My husband and I were looking for a new church and found one with a lot going on. In my case, I was uncomfortable with the young women with babies but I did give another, older perspective in our group studies. This church also had an "Over 50" group of women where I fit perfectly! We created a group called "FAB" (Fantastic Over 50) and meet in the church's open area every other month. I felt like the only person there who hadn't studied the Bible all my life, but no, I wasn't. We are all learning. We have Meal Trains for anyone who is sick and meet offsite at different homes, sometimes with a bottle of wine to talk about whatever anyone wants/needs. I worked with all men for many years in construction. When it was time to go home or just go for a drink after work it was with the guys. I didn't have women friends to sit with, celebrate a promotion or cry with about the difficult or the happy occasions. I recommend church/synagogue or a support group in your area. Check out the groups. Talk to the Pastor or person in charge of Adult Ministries. You never know, you might find more than just an earthly friend!

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@jjwest

Hi Sandy. I live in Austin,TX> I am now living with my son and his famiy, I don't drive anymore and am home in my room most of the time, I have options, but they always involve someone to take me, so I don't ask. I wish we lived close, I would love to get to know you
peace&love....JJ I am 79 female

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Hi JJ!
Your note to Sandy sounded very nice and thoughtful. You must be a nice person! I found your comment about not driving very interesting. I'm almost the same way. I'm 76 and don't drive anymore than I have to and I'm not sure why. Part of it is because my 81 year old husband is a wonderful driver and does all the driving. He loves it! I used to love driving but now it makes me nervous. We live in Edmonds WA which is 15 miles north of Seattle. We have Seattle's bad traffic and now, the crime is creeping in too. I think it's the bad traffic that bothers me the most about driving. What made you quit driving? I don't want to take the bus because they let the homeless who are mostly drug addicts ride free! In fact, even the taxi's aren't safe. The drivers are often high on marijuana which is legal in Washington State or on something else that is not legal but the authorities act like it is and ignore the usage of it! We finally found a limousine service that was reputable and safe to use as a taxi when we needed it; mainly for medical appointments when my husband couldn't drive to them. I will keep driving but it is a challenge. However, when I do drive I enjoy it! Does that make sense?
I would be interested in your comments.
Have a nice day!
PML

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@ellamster

Oh, that reminds me of my own relationship. He was in his room all the time when he was home and I had to knock on his door if I had to talk to him. He would sigh loudly and even growl if I did. I usually only knocked if someone called him because he didn't want a phone in his room, I tended to it. It felt lonely and then I got used to it, after which I was glad to not have interaction with him because he was a loose cannon to say the least. I too had my animals. I love them more 😻

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I haven't gotten used to the loneliness yet. I have three kids that they are all busy with their own life. I do talk to the oldest one and my four-year-old grandson. They don't really have a lot of time for me. I am 66 years old. Sometimes I feel like I'm 86. I hear being isolated makes you a little strange in my head. It's a good thing I got my doggies.😊

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@siackma

I am incredibly lonely also. I spend almost every day entirely by myself except for my four dogs. And a husband who is mostly never here and when he is watches TV. I really given up on that relationship and accepted that. But all the same it would be wonderful to talk to or chat with you anytime.

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@siackma
Anytime you want to chat…you can Private Message me. I will message you now. 🌻

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@siackma

I haven't gotten used to the loneliness yet. I have three kids that they are all busy with their own life. I do talk to the oldest one and my four-year-old grandson. They don't really have a lot of time for me. I am 66 years old. Sometimes I feel like I'm 86. I hear being isolated makes you a little strange in my head. It's a good thing I got my doggies.😊

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Hello, @siackma When I lost my wife loneliness was, and at times continues to be, a challenge.

While not for everyone, I decided to begin a "To Do" list of things I hadn't been able to do while caregiving, put off, etc. Most are small, but they vary in size and importance. A few examples were to see the home our son moved to in another state, write a letter to a friend of old who I'd fallen out of touch with, touch up the wall and baseboard nicks from the wheelchair, discover a new author, et.

Then I made the pledge to myself that I'd never check one off the list without adding a new one to the bottom. Not only did I get a bunch of things done, but I found I got a lot of happiness and satisfaction from completing each one, it fought my feelings of loneliness, and gave me a sense of accomplishment. It also put me in charge of my happiness that has stood me well.

Just an idea that worked for me.
Strength, Courage, & Peace

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@IndianaScott

Hello, @siackma When I lost my wife loneliness was, and at times continues to be, a challenge.

While not for everyone, I decided to begin a "To Do" list of things I hadn't been able to do while caregiving, put off, etc. Most are small, but they vary in size and importance. A few examples were to see the home our son moved to in another state, write a letter to a friend of old who I'd fallen out of touch with, touch up the wall and baseboard nicks from the wheelchair, discover a new author, et.

Then I made the pledge to myself that I'd never check one off the list without adding a new one to the bottom. Not only did I get a bunch of things done, but I found I got a lot of happiness and satisfaction from completing each one, it fought my feelings of loneliness, and gave me a sense of accomplishment. It also put me in charge of my happiness that has stood me well.

Just an idea that worked for me.
Strength, Courage, & Peace

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Thank you. That gives me hope. : )

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