1. < Depression & Anxiety

Turned 54 yesterday and seriously struggling in a sexless marriage

Posted by bknight189 @bknight189, Mar 9 6:35pm

I love my wife and I'm positive she still lives me. She's made minimal efforts to do anything about the issue although we have talked about it. She's 3 years older post menopause and I'm familiar with all the issues with that. It just seems to me when she knew it was an issue she should have addressed it right away. I've been patient and we've been intimate less than 5 times in 8 years or so. What's worse is she doesn't just have a reduced labido, she has absolutely no interest at all in doing anything or even doing for me. She, in perfect timing ended up having knee surgery a month ago and is still recovering from that. She made an appt with the Dr for the end of the month but it's another missed opportunity for my birthday, her birthday, mother's day and even our 23rd anniversary all coming up by the end of May. I was medically retired from an extremely dangerous job where I was badly hurt but have pushed through all of it and still want to have physical contact with her. It was one of the stress relievers that was still available to me because physical activity ( running/lifting ) or hanging out with friends is out. I lost most of my friends when I was forced to retire early. It's one of those circle things, you're in or you're out. I got nothing and I don't think I'm asking for that much but I won't cause her pain no matter what. I'm spiraling and she is there but also kinda isn't. I think she's not going to prioritize this and I don't want to flush 25 years of being with her down the drain.

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tervin | @tervin1985 | Apr 30 5:40pm
In reply to @bboon44 "Female here, age 69. I really lost my sex drive a few years ago. I could..." + (show)
@bboon44

Female here, age 69. I really lost my sex drive a few years ago. I could almost tell to the day when my estrogen levels dropped. I had sex with my husband, and it was suddenly so dry and painful. It was like someone scrubbed my insides with a Brillo pad and then lit it on fire! It hurt to walk for a few days. I felt bad for my husband, and eventually got things figured out. First, I had to deal with low estrogen, so got on a patch and then some estradiol cream to thicken the vaginal lining back up. At the same time, I was trying to treat osteoporosis after suddenly fracturing my spine (not a good place mentally or physically to be).

The back healed, I got on injections for the bone health and as a last bit, got put on testosterone cream, which would help bones and give a boost to the libido.
The testosterone cream has made me feel like a horny 18 y/o boy! It's astonishing, and I love it. I want to have sex all the time. My husband had to actually turn me down a few times, and I guess it's my karma for doing that to him before I got this treated.. I seriously think my dose is too high, because my preoccupation with sex now is pretty intense. I just had a blood level drawn and will halve the amount of cream I am using. It's seriously crazy.
I always liked sex as a younger woman, but of course, you had to be "a nice girl," and not run around or you'd get called a slut. But now, I wouldn't even care about that. When I start thinking about going to some dive bar and propositioning strange guys, it's time to cut back on the dose. Holy Moly!

Hormones!!! Just shows that we all have that animal brain inside that can come out with the right hormones.

So get your lady friend or wife on some testosterone. I can't be the only one to be affected this way. Just be ready to get chased around the house.

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Is the testosterone cream part of a hormone replacement therapy or just for libido?

REPLY
bboon44 | @bboon44 | Apr 30 9:35pm

It is for libido and for bone health. I had a fracture from osteoporosis in Jan 2023. Between the testosterone and shots, my bones are now just osteopenic, and not osteoporotic.

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