Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Can you choose an apartment or condo complex with common areas and activities? My friend pondered this decision for 10 years and finally made the move, but needed to be sure there were others nearby to chat with, maybe play a card game or work a puzzle.

I know how you feel. Our decision has not been made yet, but basically it comes down to a choice.

Move near our family where they will help us with needs. We love them very much and they make us happy. We would build on to their home, but be independent. We also have long-term care insurance, which could include help at home or assisted living.

The negatives are cold weather, getting in a car for all of our activities, etc.

Where we are now is warm and all the activities can be gotten to by Bicycle, golf cart or car. All level ground.

Opinions, please. I know there is no magic ball.

Regardless of how much money I may have I have lived a minimalist lifestyle for many years and it frees up so much time; time that I spend on the things that really matter to me. I own few possessions but the ones that I do have are of high quality and they give me so much more happiness than rooms full of "stuff", much of which I rarely or never use. The best part? When I need something I just buy it!

And what if you plan to move to live near or with your kids but separately, and they decide they don´t want that much closeness? You cannot predict how things will be in the future. Be very cautious in moving to be near someone because their feelings can change, even after you move.
Been there, done that. One year later I moved back to where I came from.

I forgot to mention that I still work full time. So, less time to fill. And, I will still be working after the move.
My husband is retired and good at occupying himself.
I can’t live in a condo as I have dogs and cats and plan to be a beekeeper.
I’m not worried about being lonely or changing my mind about living near kids — or them changing their minds - I’m worried about falling on ice.

We are 91 and are snowbirds and in good health. During the summer we live about an hour sea from our daughter. During the winter we are on the Gulf coast, warm and toasty.
We want to be near our kids for emotional support when we have health issues. Our son has come down when needed. Our daughter has family issues but wants us to come nearer to her.
As you may guesss we are grateful for this plethora of blessings. But we are conflicted as to what to do.

Have been thinking about that too: To move closer to my kids or stay where I am (Am a pretty healthy 84 year old female).
Pretty much decided to stay. Will be in my home, that has been remodeled for older people, as long as I can drive, then think I will move to an independent or dependent living facility here in town.
My grown kids don’t get along, but I will suggest for them to promise me to visit every month, taking turns. They live a 4 hour drive away, are busy with work and pets.
There are positives and negatives of course. Even made myself a list of likes and dislikes in both places, for example: I really like their area, but don’t like their drama.
Have many more positives here, my friends, my church, my doctors, etc.
So far so good.
As I said before, am praying to be able to make the right decisions whenever it becomes necessary. 🙏

Every day I think about my decision that is coming. My husband has had Alzheimer’s for 10 years and now I have been diagnosed at age 82.

My thinking this morning is true. Put my house up for sale and move in to an assisted living place nearby, and we have long-term care insurance that will pay for it. Seems like a no-brainer all of a sudden .opinions?

Applaud you for making your decision, but you probably know that even though you are doing the right thing, it will not be easy.
Sometimes we just have to grit our teeth and go on with it.
I have watched a demented neighbor being moved to a location where I know she wouldn’t want to go, because she waited too long, wanting to stay in her own home.
So I too want to be able to make my own decisions while I can, and not be at the mercy of my kids or those government organizations.
Am glad you have longtime care benefits, that’s a real blessing. I certainly wish you well!

I agree - my dear friend just ..."So I too want to be able to make my own decisions while I can, and not be at the mercy of my kids or those government organizations..."
She is happy with her decision, and just spent her first Thanksgiving and Christmas with her kids in 12 years - but she's not looking forward to the next 4 months of cold - but she chose an apartment in a small town she likes (her kids would have moved her to their city) where she has access to other artists, the library, her old doctor...and no city traffic.
But I miss her so much - we visited every day, painted together, had adventures big and small and laughed a lot - we have plans to visit her in the Spring and she loves to come to our town because we always find new things for her to see and do.