Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

More than congratulations on staying at airport for 8 hours, I could not of done that, i would have found a lounge with a very large couch Dave

My wife and I, both in our mid 70s have spent the past 50 yrs living up and down the CA coastline. Me, because I was an early pro surfer back in the 1960s, eventually having fun as my life's work and my wife became an LCSW, with a license and credentials only good in the state of CA. She currently works exclusively from home, but literally can work on-line from anywhere in the world. Rental prices / cost of living in CA has gotten to the point where we can't get out of here soon enough. We have lived abroad in the past, but that was when the US Dollar was a powerful currency. We've been looking around the country for co-op living, but don't have the cash to buy in or don't care for the location. Our current "decision" is to pack up our necessary stuff (we're already living minimalist lives) and head out to the Research Triangle (Raleigh, Durham, or Chapel Hill) in N. Carolina. It has a good VA Hospital for me and it's a young growing area with lots to do. If possible, I can buy a small home using the G.I. Bill or just continue renting. Our current rent on the beach in CA in over $4 K / month, but with Medicare, a couple of retirement pensions, royalties from several surfing-related inventions, and an upgrade to my veteran's disability--Agent Orange exposure in VN and toxic drinking water while in the Marines at Camp LeJeune, we should be doing pretty well even with my Parkinson's Disease. For now, it seems as if we'll head out to N.C., get a short term rental or air-b-and b, and check our the individual communities in and around the Triangle. Not much of a plan, but that's all we have for now; except maybe to move back to S. America. We wanted to move to Portugal, but it's gotten far too expensive to gain residency. We both speak Portuguese and Spanish and Portugal has a similar climate to that of CA--at least in the Algarve region. The mountain area near Porto is affordable, but my body doesn't do well in cooler weather. Our lease is up in November, but I need to know about my Veterans Evaluation status prior to moving--and once again needing to start the process from the beginning. Anybody else in the same boat?

Rose, you sound like you figured it all out. I think you'll do well where ever you decide to go. Me, I would get a small place near a good hospital. My husband is 73 and I'm 72 , we live outside NYC, but there is always something that needs a doctor's attention and why not have the best. I have a small front & back yard and pay someone to care for it. It's just too much work and I don't enjoy doing it any more. I would just as soon move into a little condo with no yard at all but hubby likes the privacy of a detached house. We downsized years ago when the boys moved out and now have a small place that is easy to clean. Well that's it for me Rose, wish you all the best.

I really enjoyed reading about your very interesting life! Jim, my husband, and I first travelled to Ecuador in 2001 and fell in love with it. We returned three other times, most recently getting back just before shortly before COVID hit. We Air-BnB'd time in the beautiful city of Cuenca, met some wonderful expats and we intended to move there. But COVID sure changed things. And now with Jim's prostate cancer. our dream of living in Ecuador likely won't become our reality. And what felt like such a safe and welcoming country has become one with significantly more crime, which is very sad. I hope that the Research Triangle will be a good fit for you guys and that your health will not hinder you too much! All the Best to You!

Yes, for many downsizing is highly emotional often at times to their own detriment. Please do downsize AND declutter NOW, when you are still able to walk and lift light boxes. As a former realtor I have seen sad situation(s) when the garage is filled to the brink with boxes of "stuff" as the wife is hovering, looking completely distressed trying to sort out what to keep, as her spouse looks at her from the side with both his hands on a walker, completely unable to help her. Give to friends, family whatever you can, keep your photos, special keepsakes, etc., and donate or trash the rest.

I decluttered in a major way years ago, in early 50s after both kids moved out..and continue to declutter every year. I also, have seen the nightmare of junk and emotions, and heavy lifting, that loved ones have to deal with after the passing of a relative, who never decluttered or downsized...the mortgage, or rent, and expenses, etc. is a major nightmare that I lived for my own mother too. I won't do that to my own adult kids..they have a job, limited vacation, etc.

A good realtor is trained to help with these emotions AND they can help you find senior housing, rentals for seniors, etc...even if you are a renter. In the end, no one will care about our material earthly belongings at all, not us as we die, or our loved ones likely either..

@tinamaria1 - Really, really helpful! As I've been recovering from a procedure about 45 days ago I've been wandering around our house, ready to walk around with a "bag" of some sort, with my fiance next to me, and donate + trash + recycle + gift + consignment throughout our 3-story + full basement home.

I've hired an organizer, which I've used 3 times before in my life. As I now live in an area where there are no Professional Organizers, I've been lucky so far to reach out to an organizing business and find an organizer who will drive the extra distance (at the hourly compensation fee for travel above 45 minutes, each way) - but if it gets the job done, it'll be worth it - though I know it can accumulate again!

Also, there are highly reputable certified Professional Organizers that specialize in senior downsizing, and, if it works for you in your situation, can advise, coach and delegate virtually (through Zoom sessions). I did this last year, and it was very helpful emotionally and did get a key area of my home cleared and back to its intended use. Glad to share the link if anyone is interested.

Anyway, need all the encouragement, as I know how it has gone for me, but as I've just faced what I hope is a temporary medical encumbrance, if I'm smart, I'll keep this in the forefront as I recover and get onto the business of "less is more", especially as we get "more" in years!!

Thank you.

You made difficult BUT very wise decisions! You will be SO grateful in the future, when it gets harder and harder to take on the emotional and physical demands of downsizing. You are using what I call the black trash bag technique. Take one big HUGE trash bag and fill it up daily with trash, stuff that's meaningless. Keep doing it daily until all unnecessary junk is removed from your home. If you only do one bag a day, then one won't get easily overwhelmed.
Wishing you the best.