Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Thanks for telling about your prostate cancer and the fact that you're doing well, having had quite a lot of treatment, in the ~10 years since your diagnosis. Yes, I know science is making great strides in prostate cancer therapies, which is very encouraging. Sure hope you continue to do well!

Yes, I sure don't want to completely give up gardening. But only two flower gardens, that I can take good care of, would better suit me at this point in my life. If we move into a co-op, I plan to planter-garden on our deck, We're excited about the co-op we hope to live in because it is in a very vibrant community with two of the best colleges in the state, and all the good that comes with this. We have some good friends who live there, it's within a good driving range of both Mayo and Minneapolis/St. Paul, where we also have a lot of good friends. We now live almost at the top of one of the bluffs outside a lovely community on the Mississippi River. We've certainly thought of staying, and may do so. But we're actually really looking forward to this new small town that has so much to offer.

My wife and I, both in our mid 70s have spent the past 50 yrs living up and down the CA coastline. Me, because I was an early pro surfer back in the 1960s, eventually having fun as my life's work and my wife became an LCSW, with a license and credentials only good in the state of CA. She currently works exclusively from home, but literally can work on-line from anywhere in the world. Rental prices / cost of living in CA has gotten to the point where we can't get out of here soon enough. We have lived abroad in the past, but that was when the US Dollar was a powerful currency. We've been looking around the country for co-op living, but don't have the cash to buy in or don't care for the location. Our current "decision" is to pack up our necessary stuff (we're already living minimalist lives) and head out to the Research Triangle (Raleigh, Durham, or Chapel Hill) in N. Carolina. It has a good VA Hospital for me and it's a young growing area with lots to do. If possible, I can buy a small home using the G.I. Bill or just continue renting. Our current rent on the beach in CA in over $4 K / month, but with Medicare, a couple of retirement pensions, royalties from several surfing-related inventions, and an upgrade to my veteran's disability--Agent Orange exposure in VN and toxic drinking water while in the Marines at Camp LeJeune, we should be doing pretty well even with my Parkinson's Disease. For now, it seems as if we'll head out to N.C., get a short term rental or air-b-and b, and check our the individual communities in and around the Triangle. Not much of a plan, but that's all we have for now; except maybe to move back to S. America. We wanted to move to Portugal, but it's gotten far too expensive to gain residency. We both speak Portuguese and Spanish and Portugal has a similar climate to that of CA--at least in the Algarve region. The mountain area near Porto is affordable, but my body doesn't do well in cooler weather. Our lease is up in November, but I need to know about my Veterans Evaluation status prior to moving--and once again needing to start the process from the beginning. Anybody else in the same boat?

Thanks! I have hope that I will live to be almost 101 in good condition like my mother in law did. She fell down carrying the garbage out when she was 93 and broke her hip. It was healed 6 months later. She was living alone until then. After that she went to live with her daughter and was still gambling at Lake Tahoe at 96!

They didn't have anything but upright chairs. A kind person who takes people around in airports gave me a light weight wheel chair to use as a walker. The lounge closed for the night. Starbucks was a big help too!

Rose, you sound like you figured it all out. I think you'll do well where ever you decide to go. Me, I would get a small place near a good hospital. My husband is 73 and I'm 72 , we live outside NYC, but there is always something that needs a doctor's attention and why not have the best. I have a small front & back yard and pay someone to care for it. It's just too much work and I don't enjoy doing it any more. I would just as soon move into a little condo with no yard at all but hubby likes the privacy of a detached house. We downsized years ago when the boys moved out and now have a small place that is easy to clean. Well that's it for me Rose, wish you all the best.

I really enjoyed reading about your very interesting life! Jim, my husband, and I first travelled to Ecuador in 2001 and fell in love with it. We returned three other times, most recently getting back just before shortly before COVID hit. We Air-BnB'd time in the beautiful city of Cuenca, met some wonderful expats and we intended to move there. But COVID sure changed things. And now with Jim's prostate cancer. our dream of living in Ecuador likely won't become our reality. And what felt like such a safe and welcoming country has become one with significantly more crime, which is very sad. I hope that the Research Triangle will be a good fit for you guys and that your health will not hinder you too much! All the Best to You!

Oh, it sounds like your priorities and moves have worked out very well for you! Glad you have someone to care for your yard. (Wishing we could find that person here!) And, yes, I wish we had decluttered and downsized some years ago -- though we do appreciate where we live right now. But it seems that making a move is what needs to happen. We're not sure about the "when" yet. But I'm trusting we'll know when the time is right and that plans will fall into place. How exciting it must be to live near NYC. The co-op we hope to join is near Minneapolis/St. Paul, which also has much to offer (at a considerably smaller scale, of course). Wishing you and your husband well!

rosewg: Cuenca, wonderful memories of Cuenca. I was there about 1990, stayed in a pension and took Spanish for Foreigners at the University of Cuenca. Three hours of individual class/day. It was almost more Spanish class than I could handle. I walked all over the city on both sides of the river. That is something I could not do now. Wishing you well in your life's journey.

It’s easier to downsize when a person does not get emotional about belongings.
I’ve given so much to charity in the past 2 years, for me it’s less upkeep.
I have the mind set that someone else can use my stuff.
I believe a lot of emotion was how we were raised.