The Chat Room: A place to talk about this and that

Posted by John, Volunteer Mentor @johnbishop, Oct 3 4:32pm

Have you discovered mutual likes or common points of interest with other members while talking about the medical stuff? Sometimes these discoveries take us off topic.

Welcome to The Chat Room.
This is a place to talk about this and that over the backyard fence so to speak. To invite a fellow member or members to the chat room, simply mention their @username. They will get an email to join the conversation here.

Who will you invite to chat?

@sunnyflower @jesfactsmon, welcome to the Chat Room. We were talking in another discussion about how easily discussions can go off topic. It's great to connect and talk about all manner of things. But it's also important to respect the topic of the discussion thread. To know the topic, simply take not of the subject line of the email. That will guide you.

Will you kick start the chat room?

REPLY
@colleenyoung

@sunnyflower @jesfactsmon, welcome to the Chat Room. We were talking in another discussion about how easily discussions can go off topic. It's great to connect and talk about all manner of things. But it's also important to respect the topic of the discussion thread. To know the topic, simply take not of the subject line of the email. That will guide you.

Will you kick start the chat room?

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@colleenyoung

Hi Colleen, yup, I agree, as far as not respecting the original topic of the discussion, I am definitely guilty as charged. I decided to go back and review my posts since Sept. 1st of which I counted 211. Here is where I see myself having flown off topic the most wildly:

TENS discussion – 4 or 5 posts – pep talk to several people about dealing with unsympathetic close friends/family – John came in at one point and tried to reel this discussion back in; it didn't seem to work

Shingrix discussion – 6 posts about my wife's breast cancer treatment – this was REALLY off topic, and I must say that I actually felt a little uncomfortable at the time this happened.

CIDP discussion – got a lot into God and religion; I can see that one was particularly off topic and I WAS a participant

There are quite a few other places where I posted a single response to another person about something that they mentioned that was not on topic. I don't think you view this as a problem also do you? In most cases I was simply responding to someone else's comment. But maybe you would like people to self monitor in these cases as well and try not to respond to the person? Looking for guidance here.

I admit I do have a tendency to spin off onto ideas that are sometimes not relevant to the current topic, as evidenced above. I can tell you, now that I am more fully aware of this, I will definitely try to reel myself in a little better, as well as see if I can make better use of the private messaging option. I am glad you are pointing this out (again). I hope this is the last time you will need to, at least to me anyway.

Best to you, Hank

REPLY

Excellent idea, @johnbishop. However, after reading the response from @colleenyoung, I'm not sure how this would work. Like @jesfactsmon wrote, it is easy to pick up on a comment from a poster and elaborate on that thread that may veer off topic. Sometimes, the discussions prompted by that digression leads to more information and smiles for all reading/participating. How would this group work? An example please.

REPLY

@johnbishop
Hi,
While I like the idea of a chat room I am not sure how well that will work. I had assumed the “Just want to talk” area would have taken care of that. But I agree about going off topic and have stopped reading the virtual walking threads because of that.

We are a good chatty group…bless us all. So maybe a stern/gentle
reminder to all via email , if possible, about keeping the discussions on topic and the fact that there is a Just Want To Talk area. If we are on a particular topic and responding to it but feel the need to go off topic, we can just say that we will continue the off topic discussion under Just Want To Talk or in the Chat Room. Might work…..or not lol.

FL Mary

REPLY

I shared this message with a few of you privately, but it bears posting for all.

Yes, Connect is all about connections. When someone mentions something not necessarily related to the topic, you want to offer support, empathy, information, or simply say "Yeah, me too." If someone talks about something you're interested in, how can you not respond? Yes, please respond, but be mindful of the topic and bring the conversation back to the original topic. Here's a scenario that explains some reasons why going off-topic has negative consequences for the community.

Member starts a discussion, for example about TENS for neuropathy. The information exchange is great, several members respond with tips and experiences. Dozens of members follow along. Hundreds of people read now and later. That's the benefit of Connect. The information stays online for future info seekers. About 25 or so comments into the discussion, three, four or five members start to talk about their pets and other things not related to TENS. This results in several unfortunate consequences:
– members unsubscribe from the Neuropathy group
– members write to me to say that this is no longer relevant to them
– members complain that they get too many emails unrelated to their condition
– members feel excluded that they are not part of the inner circle
– moderators and mentors can no longer link new members to this discussion because it's lost it's impact and relevancy

Thus a tangent involving 3-5 members results in losing 5-15 members each time it happens and devalues the discussion as a resource/archive for info seekers. Naturally, these consequences are not visible to you, which is why I wanted to share them with you.

What Can You Do?
You can help. Here are some suggestions:
– Be aware of the title and topic of the discussion to which you are replying.
– When you wish to respond to something unrelated to the topic, keep it brief and return to the topic.
– Ask them to join you in a relevant discussion related to the tangent.

Here are some phrases that can help
@username, faith is an integral part of my life too. Will you join me in this discussion?
– How Spirituality Can Help Stress https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-spirituality-can-help-stress/

@username, you're an artist too? That's great. There are quite a few of us artists here on Connect. Join us in this discussion
– Art for healing https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/art-for-healing/

@username, join me in The Chat Room where we can continue to talk about … https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/the-chat-room-a-place-to-talk-about-this-and-that/

I think you get the picture. I hope this helps explain the unseen consequences and look forward to enlisting your help.
Colleen

REPLY
@imallears

@johnbishop
Hi,
While I like the idea of a chat room I am not sure how well that will work. I had assumed the “Just want to talk” area would have taken care of that. But I agree about going off topic and have stopped reading the virtual walking threads because of that.

We are a good chatty group…bless us all. So maybe a stern/gentle
reminder to all via email , if possible, about keeping the discussions on topic and the fact that there is a Just Want To Talk area. If we are on a particular topic and responding to it but feel the need to go off topic, we can just say that we will continue the off topic discussion under Just Want To Talk or in the Chat Room. Might work…..or not lol.

FL Mary

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@imallears I hope this idea of the chat room takes off and is successful. While you mention using the "Just Want To Talk" group, if you read the header on that you will find that it talks about General Health ideas and questions. I think the original focus of that was to get someone started on their topic and then guide them over to specific discussions. The concept of a chatroom leads more towards around-the-table/over-the-fence type talking. That is, the weather or children / grandchildren or the general things not dealing necessarily with health. I believe there is space for all of us in this forum of Mayo Connect, and it has really been a godsend for me the last few years!

Going outside to haul rocks, now!
Ginger

REPLY

@gingerw
No, I didn’t read the header about General Health…my bad. I am assuming politics are off limits in the chat room…as it should be.
You go haul those rocks superwomen. Just don’t want to see a Chat room thread about you juggling rocks in the air or “what not to do when hauling rocks.” I’m pulling up or moving old plants because my son in law is on a landscaping binge. It’s almost that time of year in Florida but still too humid and we were teased with some gorgeous fall like days last week. Thought it might be the turning point….sigh.

Muggy Fl Mary

REPLY
@imallears

@gingerw
No, I didn’t read the header about General Health…my bad. I am assuming politics are off limits in the chat room…as it should be.
You go haul those rocks superwomen. Just don’t want to see a Chat room thread about you juggling rocks in the air or “what not to do when hauling rocks.” I’m pulling up or moving old plants because my son in law is on a landscaping binge. It’s almost that time of year in Florida but still too humid and we were teased with some gorgeous fall like days last week. Thought it might be the turning point….sigh.

Muggy Fl Mary

Jump to this post

@imallears Yep, the guidelines are still the same here as in any other group. Respectful, mindful, no politics.

Ha! ha! no juggling of any sort from me – never mastered that except in doing several things things at once, like so many of us can. As far as what not to do. On a level haul I don't have much to keep me from moving what is comfortable, weight-wise. Right now I am hauling from our north-side downslope. There is a 45 degree slope for about 150'. So, the amount of weight of a load on the wheeled sled has to be reduced for me to push it up the hill. Picture a modern-day Sisyphus-style push. This makes for more trips, but today I moved perhaps 300 pounds. We expect rain Fri or Sat, so there is a lot to do if I can get most of those moved before then. I get easily distracted looking at some of the prettier rocks ;))

Have fun moving or pulling up plants. I get so ecstatic that a plant has lived I hate to pull them!
Ginger

REPLY

@gingerw
Hi,

I may have missed the reason that you were hauling so many rocks. Why does that have to be done? Not volunteering mind you.

FL Mary

REPLY
@imallears

@gingerw
Hi,

I may have missed the reason that you were hauling so many rocks. Why does that have to be done? Not volunteering mind you.

FL Mary

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Hi,
Hauling rocks is nothing.
Yesterday washed my floors, vacuumed, AND placed, more flagstone and red river rock in area Gardner dug up because HE let too many weeds grow.Have just 2 flagstone left to place, would you like to come and place them for me?
Now waiting for my furniture to come back. Been 2 years since Wolsey canyon fire and I miss my furniture. Wondering what kind of shape it’s in?
Funcountess

REPLY
@imallears

@gingerw
Hi,

I may have missed the reason that you were hauling so many rocks. Why does that have to be done? Not volunteering mind you.

FL Mary

Jump to this post

@imallears Nothing has to be done! My husband wanted the basketball size rocks from south and east side property lines gone, to make it easier to mow, so I created a pile in the middle of the lawn. Then he wanted the rocks pulled from side of driveway to replace with red brick. So I almost have that pulled out. Laid weed barrier down and rocking in between chain link fence and sidewalk along with building two raised beds in same area. That's where the rocks from north slope are being placed now.

It gives me satisfaction to see this project in my mind translating into 3D in front of me! Yes I keep the house clean and orderly but I need to be outside and working on a project. I have physical limitations so this is something I can do.

You're welcome to help haul rocks anytime you want ;))
Ginger

REPLY
@gingerw

@imallears Nothing has to be done! My husband wanted the basketball size rocks from south and east side property lines gone, to make it easier to mow, so I created a pile in the middle of the lawn. Then he wanted the rocks pulled from side of driveway to replace with red brick. So I almost have that pulled out. Laid weed barrier down and rocking in between chain link fence and sidewalk along with building two raised beds in same area. That's where the rocks from north slope are being placed now.

It gives me satisfaction to see this project in my mind translating into 3D in front of me! Yes I keep the house clean and orderly but I need to be outside and working on a project. I have physical limitations so this is something I can do.

You're welcome to help haul rocks anytime you want ;))
Ginger

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@funcountess and @gingerw
Hello,

Would love to come help you if you could think of a way for me to get there without flying. You would not want to haul anything in this humidity. Our Octobers used to be nice in the past with the possibility of wearing jeans, boots and sweaters looming over the horizon. My boots still have no wear and tear on them. Now I am sweating when I come back from my daily 2.5 walk and I try to start before 7. It was already 80 Muggo degrees at 6:30. No leaves turning here..no sound of their crunch under your feet. We all get very nostalgic for Long Island this time of year. You can’t even leave a real pumpkin outside for too long on some Halloween’s. Sigh…what an awful climate…..I WANT MY 4 SEASONS !

FL Mary

REPLY
@imallears

@funcountess and @gingerw
Hello,

Would love to come help you if you could think of a way for me to get there without flying. You would not want to haul anything in this humidity. Our Octobers used to be nice in the past with the possibility of wearing jeans, boots and sweaters looming over the horizon. My boots still have no wear and tear on them. Now I am sweating when I come back from my daily 2.5 walk and I try to start before 7. It was already 80 Muggo degrees at 6:30. No leaves turning here..no sound of their crunch under your feet. We all get very nostalgic for Long Island this time of year. You can’t even leave a real pumpkin outside for too long on some Halloween’s. Sigh…what an awful climate…..I WANT MY 4 SEASONS !

FL Mary

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Hi Mary,
You want more humidity in the form of tears?
Furniture came back,and let’s just say, my upholstered pieces smell like fire and mold.
Today will order new furniture.
The trash hauler will pick up my stuff after I destroy it. By destroy I mean cut up material, so nobody takes it for themselves to use.
Mess after mess, after mess.
If you could see my living room you would run to the hills.
I put the last 2 pieces of flagstone down, since you were not going to fly out.
At my age I do t know where I get the energy???
Funcountess

REPLY
@gingerw

@imallears Yep, the guidelines are still the same here as in any other group. Respectful, mindful, no politics.

Ha! ha! no juggling of any sort from me – never mastered that except in doing several things things at once, like so many of us can. As far as what not to do. On a level haul I don't have much to keep me from moving what is comfortable, weight-wise. Right now I am hauling from our north-side downslope. There is a 45 degree slope for about 150'. So, the amount of weight of a load on the wheeled sled has to be reduced for me to push it up the hill. Picture a modern-day Sisyphus-style push. This makes for more trips, but today I moved perhaps 300 pounds. We expect rain Fri or Sat, so there is a lot to do if I can get most of those moved before then. I get easily distracted looking at some of the prettier rocks ;))

Have fun moving or pulling up plants. I get so ecstatic that a plant has lived I hate to pull them!
Ginger

Jump to this post

Hey there Ginger, @gingerw. I Ioved reading about your sensitive feelings, aka, love, for rocks. Jay feels the same way about the stones. I am a tree lover. I have been despondent for days when one of my favorites came crashing down in a wind storm. I even challenge the family sometimes when they bring in firewood to make sure they didn't steal it from my blue cedar. What fun! Nice to meet up with you in the Chat Room. This is great……we can get to know and share with folks who like the same things we do….not just have the same medical challenges we do. It is always engaging to learn about likes and even dislikes. Have a happy day. Chris

REPLY
@funcountess

Hi Mary,
You want more humidity in the form of tears?
Furniture came back,and let’s just say, my upholstered pieces smell like fire and mold.
Today will order new furniture.
The trash hauler will pick up my stuff after I destroy it. By destroy I mean cut up material, so nobody takes it for themselves to use.
Mess after mess, after mess.
If you could see my living room you would run to the hills.
I put the last 2 pieces of flagstone down, since you were not going to fly out.
At my age I do t know where I get the energy???
Funcountess

Jump to this post

@funcountess
Your energy comes from your mind lady
I suspect that's why they call you fun countess.
Mold and fire smells in upholstery will never go away.
I could still smell basement smells from some things that were stored there when we moved from NY. I think it took a good 10 yrs for some items to smell normal again.

But what fun…new furniture.
Hardly anything makes me run for the Hills anymore
I love a challenge, like you seem to and think we would have made good neighbors.

FL Mary

REPLY
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