Sudden "Spell", Impaction, Blue Lips and Vitals plummeting

This stage of life is so difficult to witness. Everybody is different but at some point she will stop eating then stop taking fluids. A person can live without food for a while but cannot survive without fluids. I saw this with my mother who passed at age 102. She had dysphagia which is difficulty swallowing and choked a lot when trying to eat. She eventually just gave up eating. Then her body started to shut down. After about a week she slipped into a coma and passed away. I am so sorry that you are going through this with your Mom. You and your Mom are in my prayers.

PS - I don't want Mom to pass, I just want her to be pain-free and feeling good. I do not regret one moment of helping her or caring for her. It's just emotional.

@ocdogmom Thanks. I'm glad you could be there for your Mom, what a long life she had! My mom is getting dysphagia now as well. Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it.

I am so sorry to hear the pain you are going through…
It’s obvious how much you love your mom— but you have been there — and you still are! that tells her how you feel. A mom senses her child's love, i believe- even during times like these. it is a roller coaster of emotions that take place at this point in- and im very sad you both are going through it— peace will come— sending many hugs your way.

Dear @tracidw ,

I am so very sorry to hear of your mother's suffering. I accompanied my mother through her last weeks of life from cancer. I am wondering about your hospice service. It was my impression that you could count on them to keep your loved one pain-free. That is definitely not happening for your mother. Are they trying to balance pain relief with some other objective? Do they think that you have set a different guideline for her care? Have you ant they talked clearly about what the objective is for her care at this time?

I don't know, of course, what your mother documented about end of life wishes. At this point I assume that you are in charge of her medical decisions. It sounds like you want her to have a peaceful, pain free death; you also do not want her life prolonged. That is what my mother wanted and she got both of those things through carefully administered morphine. There may be other ways.

A dear friend chose to take no more food or water. He did this to end his illness in the hospital with full pain management.

Please talk to the hospice provider and, if necessary change that provider. I am haunted by the less than peaceful death of one of our dogs, There is no way I want the kind of suffering you and she are going through when one of my relatives dies. Please update us. We are thinking of you!

@rebeccagrover Thanks for the reply. It was helpful to read.

@memoriestomoments Thanks. Yes, hospice is doing all they can and just ordered a new med for the stomach issues. I guess I want her to never experience any pain at all. It's more of the entire situation, seeing Mom fading before me. Overall, she's weak and I'm probably more distressed than she is at this point.

One thing I was made aware of a couple days ago is that I need to ask for her PRN pain meds when I'm there if she's in pain. Hospice nurse said she can't increase pain meds if it looks like she's not taking the prns, but how can Mom ask for them if she can't verbalize it at times? I'm going back today and will talk to the director and will call hospice nurse again. At times, I don't process information right away. I should have asked when she told me but I didn't think of it.

Thanks again for the support, it sure helps being able to share and encourage each other.