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Spouse becoming less supportive?

Posted by bluegill @bluegill, 5 days ago

Has this happened to others? I'm entering my 6th year of survival (Gleason 10, radiation twice, 5th year of Lupron), and I've recently retired. I seek "alternative" methods of relief, but nothing too extreme: sound baths, meditation, plant-based diet, making music with new friends. She doesn't like some of my new friends and activities, and she is prohibiting me from some of these activities, especially singing with women. My testosterone was 12 the last time it was checked, and I haven't had an erection in 6 years. I feel no attraction to either sex and/or gender.

I just want some peace.

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bluegill | @bluegill | 5 hours ago

I like this support group. I used to participate a lot more, when cancer was new and in my thoughts 24/7. But now I just focus on living. I may have 2 years left, or 20. Doctors won't give me a number. So, I take all my meds, follow doctors' orders, and live in the present.

What's most interesting about this post I started is that I failed to mention many relevant variables (my recent retirement, spouse still working, vacation home in another town where my new friends are, the fact that I hadn't had any friends in many years, etc. etc.), so y'all just filled in the gaps with your imaginations. Which leads to conclusions ranging from I'm a poor innocent victim to I'm a dirty rotten scoundrel.

The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

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northoftheborder | @northoftheborder | 5 hours ago
In reply to @heavyphil "@northoftheborder Watching Netflix last night and a trailer for some new series popped up; I forget..." + (show)
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@northoftheborder Watching Netflix last night and a trailer for some new series popped up; I forget what it was but there was a line spoken by the lead character: ‘What do you do when you finally realize that you married the wrong person?” It does happen, which is why the divorce rate is so freakin high (like 50%).
Many times it’s just life’s struggles that get in the way of that original bliss…but for many those ‘irreconcilable differences’ are just too big a hurdle to overcome.
How can you love another person if you’ve discovered that you don’t even like them?
Phil
Phil

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@heavyphil I think we're saying the same thing from different directions.

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northoftheborder | @northoftheborder | 5 hours ago
In reply to @bluegill "I like this support group. I used to participate a lot more, when cancer was new..." + (show)
Profile picture for bluegill @bluegill

I like this support group. I used to participate a lot more, when cancer was new and in my thoughts 24/7. But now I just focus on living. I may have 2 years left, or 20. Doctors won't give me a number. So, I take all my meds, follow doctors' orders, and live in the present.

What's most interesting about this post I started is that I failed to mention many relevant variables (my recent retirement, spouse still working, vacation home in another town where my new friends are, the fact that I hadn't had any friends in many years, etc. etc.), so y'all just filled in the gaps with your imaginations. Which leads to conclusions ranging from I'm a poor innocent victim to I'm a dirty rotten scoundrel.

The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

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@bluegill Neither victim nor scoundrel, I think. But from what you chose to share, it does sound like your relationship has hit a crisis point. I hope you find your way to something better, whether it's together or on separate paths. ❤️

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