My partner and I have been together for 12 years, having met when we were both in our early fifties, so we weren’t kids when our relationship started.
Before PC, I was an athlete and, while I still ice skate and cycle, I know I’ll never be the athlete I once was which means I lost a major part of my identity. She’s also an athlete and she’s having trouble accepting that I can’t perform as well as I did when I was healthy - she believes I am just being willful. Because I couldn’t perform in the bedroom, she became furious and locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn’t talk to me. During a hiking trip in Santa Fe, she hiked way ahead of me, leaving me alone on the mountain trail - she was frustrated that I couldn’t hike like I once did.
So we saw a therapist, which helped and, during the session, I admitted I had been conversing with my female training partner on the bike racing team about my partner’s behavior. My partner knew I trained with a woman but she never met her because she doesn’t race. Now, I am not romantically engaged with the other woman, who is my age and divorced, but, the idea that there MIGHT be another woman was enough to change my partner’s behavior. She’s more accepting now that I actually DO have limitations I didn’t have prior to PC and being in a state of denial was stressing the relationship.
We’re continuing the therapy and life together is getting better.
And living with an heiress isn’t as much fun as one might think.