Reading or intuiting what others say

Posted by stuckonu @stuckonu, Oct 31, 2019

My grandmother used to say that often:” show me your friends and I’ll tell you…”
Every bodies reality is their own truth; another saying that seems to mean different things to different people.
Recently I was in season with my newest therapist. She had a spiral notebook between her leg and the arm of the chair. She reached for it often and was anxiously writing things down. At one point she asked me if I knew what she was writing down and I replied:” probably “ so she asked me what I thought she was writing down and I told her the most likely she was writing down things that I was saying otherwise she was writing down comments or thoughts based on things I was saying. She said “ both “ I nodded affirmatively and she asked me if that happened often. I replied:” it depends on my audience “ That seemed to surprise her some.
I mentioned what my grandmother told me and how I realized that reality and truth were often used interchangeably and that a lot of our language was used unilaterally meaning that many people think or assume that others know what they mean. So if there’s a thread of truth to that thought how can we know what everyone means? It’s easy to be confused which means we are often lost in our own world of wondering what a persons means by what they say?
If I’m “ON” then I can read my audience but depending on many things I’m just as lost as the next guy so here I am with you because someone read me and thinks you can figure me out.
“ I really like it that you’re taking notes “ and we both laughed at the same time. That made me feel good and it looked like it made here feel good.

Liked by johnhans

Hi, @stuckonu – if I understand correctly, you are talking about people thinking or assuming that others know what they mean.

You made some key statements and asked a pertinent question on this topic:
– "A lot of our language was used unilaterally meaning that many people think or assume that others know what they mean. So if there’s a thread of truth to that thought, how can we know what everyone means?"

– "It’s easy to be confused, which means we are often lost in our own world of wondering what a person means by what they say?"

My husband, who is an engineer and has something of the generally expected personality traits, strongly discourages me from speaking in a non-straightforward manner (too much diplomatic, political speak) so that he can understand what I mean. He also discourages me from reading into what others say or do (e.g., wondering why someone used those words, why they've not emailed me back yet). He thinks that just causes trouble that is not needed. I've come to see that is very often true. I have honestly tried much harder to communicate more clearly, and I think it has paid off in my relationships, from work to personal.

What are your thoughts on whether it's a good idea to try and read or intuit what others mean by what they say or do?

REPLY
Please login or register to post a reply.