Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

Posted by sally12345 @sally12345, Sep 13, 2023

Hi, I'm almost 64.. I'm feeling old and useless. My strength isn't good anymore. Like it used to be mainly side effects of meds. My health is poor with cvsd. Osteoporosis, poor circulation, hearing , eyesight, you name it's going. I always took care of myself. Now I've gotten older and everything's wrong, my grandkids don't a want me around and they are little still. No friends to talk with or do things with. Why is it we spend our lifetime taking care of family. Loving friends to end up , old and tired. Useless.

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Yes dear. I know how you feel. I am 66 and have some of the same feelings. I don't struggle with the physical problems yo have fortunately but the isolation, low self esteem and loneliness are unbearable at times.

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Hang in there.
I know its tough.
I grew up with my whole family in the same town.
Now my whole family is gone...Leaving me as the only one still in the town we all grew up in.
I have had health issues and still have some and am learning some things i cant do anymore.
Calling and texting my family members really helps me out.
So does this forum.

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@sally12345 It can really be upsetting when we realize our physical capacity is not what it used to be. So, we have to change up our outlook, and revel in what we can do. Gosh, I would never want to accomplish what I did 20 years ago! Ten years ago, yes. But my goals have had to change and be modified.

It's important to stay engaged with ourselves, and others. Find a few people who may share your same hobbies, or outlook. Perhaps a faith community. Can you translate your work career in to a volunteer situation? Ever wanted to try something but didn't feel ready? Now might be the time to do that attempt.
Ginger

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@wendyinbelize

Yes dear. I know how you feel. I am 66 and have some of the same feelings. I don't struggle with the physical problems yo have fortunately but the isolation, low self esteem and loneliness are unbearable at times.

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It is so hard, when our bodies don't meet up to our expectations. Our minds as well. One day I was youthful and it seems the next. I'm assigning things over to my son. Home, property etc. My CVSD is chronic , I can tell my mind is going downward. Of course stress makes it worse . It's always on my mind of what's to come.

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I woke up after fifteen years of unnecessary medication to find I am sixty years old. Divorced, estranged from my children, broke, on disability, have two fractured vertebrae, three herniated disc and spinal stenosis all brought on by a weight lifting accident in prison (yes prison) during a short visit from a medication initiated manic episode, to find out I was miss-diagnosed and I don’t need any of the medication I’ve been taking for fifteen years, the withdrawal is difficult and time consuming.

To top it off I’m an inch and a half shorter and still forty pounds over weight and I think I’m forty five. Oh and I don’t sleep.

What helps is diet and vigorous exercise. I’ve lost twenty five pounds and I am the strongest I have ever been and I played ice hockey for thirty years. I got with my doctor, found out what I should and should not eat (hint sugar had to go) and what exercises I could do. For me I lift weights and walk or ride a bike.

I figure to borrow from Red “it was time to get busy living or get busy dying”

Good luck! I know it’s hard.

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How do WE tell ourselves: Hey, I STILL LOVE YOU!
I Ask this every moment when:
I sit if I am with the right posture. And if my posture has been neglected and Therefore has become 'not-right' then isn't the question: WHY and when did I begin to Neglect my Own Body?
But Wait! Our bodies are VERY Forgiving. They know we screw up in our lives a lot so they have an open and friendly heart to Correct our mistakes. I say this as one with an eight decades old skeleton which is able to brisk-walk 40 minutes in one go; walk up 13 floors in my apartment, panting heavily thru the last five and never even bothering to care what floor I am, Because? C'mmon, having lived many decades on this earth-with-gravity, isn't EXERTION is Pleasure?
Maybe we forgot what we knew when we were 3 or 5 yr old, but really how else we wud have learnt to Stand Up if not falling endlessly on our bums but rising again? I LOVE our body-wisdom...we couldn't have made it w/o it ...even to teenage!
But where are MY Friends, U ask?
Maybe they will appear when we approach them with sincerity-in-our behavior. Like minded attract each other; birds of feather flock TOGETHER. And Yet I don't either.
That's ONE area I pine for...striving Everyday to find my flock. It did not work what I had planned for yesterday, but I hope (for Hope I can't NOT have) my plan for the next week will. After all, what's the choice? Doesn't the toddler-in-us tells us so!
March onward, My friend...with me in this hard-but-hopeful LAST effort of our life.

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Lifestyle, diet & exercise are the answers, not big pharma! Good luck to you.

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@sisyphus

How do WE tell ourselves: Hey, I STILL LOVE YOU!
I Ask this every moment when:
I sit if I am with the right posture. And if my posture has been neglected and Therefore has become 'not-right' then isn't the question: WHY and when did I begin to Neglect my Own Body?
But Wait! Our bodies are VERY Forgiving. They know we screw up in our lives a lot so they have an open and friendly heart to Correct our mistakes. I say this as one with an eight decades old skeleton which is able to brisk-walk 40 minutes in one go; walk up 13 floors in my apartment, panting heavily thru the last five and never even bothering to care what floor I am, Because? C'mmon, having lived many decades on this earth-with-gravity, isn't EXERTION is Pleasure?
Maybe we forgot what we knew when we were 3 or 5 yr old, but really how else we wud have learnt to Stand Up if not falling endlessly on our bums but rising again? I LOVE our body-wisdom...we couldn't have made it w/o it ...even to teenage!
But where are MY Friends, U ask?
Maybe they will appear when we approach them with sincerity-in-our behavior. Like minded attract each other; birds of feather flock TOGETHER. And Yet I don't either.
That's ONE area I pine for...striving Everyday to find my flock. It did not work what I had planned for yesterday, but I hope (for Hope I can't NOT have) my plan for the next week will. After all, what's the choice? Doesn't the toddler-in-us tells us so!
March onward, My friend...with me in this hard-but-hopeful LAST effort of our life.

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So well said! You are an example for those of us following behind.
I’m 73 and actually had always felt pretty “young” lol for my age until Long Covid knocked me on my keister! The last sixteen months have been very hard for me, and wondering if I’ll ever regain even a part of the active life I had before. One thing this has done for me is increase my empathy for anybody going through a tough time. I do believe things can get better. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Reach out to others when they don’t reach out to you. What’s the saying? “Old age is not for sissies!”
True.

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Very well said..I have always taken care of !myself walking at least 35 miles a week. Eating healthy, staying active. No meds. One bend in the road and here I am. And you are..wondering what next is going to go wrong. Now I am on meds. And thinking these are my golden years ,,,mind are more like rusted tin.

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A friend of mine gave me a book along time ago entitled, "Gettin' Old Ain't for Wimps". I laughed at the tie. I'm not laughing so much at 75. I have had chronic peropheral pain since I fell skiing back in 2016. I've some good years and some not so good years since. You got your bad stuff rather young. Look at it this way, at least all this didn
t befall you when you were 30 or 40. Find a support group. Find a good church to get involved in. My grandkids live not so close, so I see them once or twice a year. Don't let circumstnaces rule your life. You can't control them. Try to imagine your life if you were even worse off. My faith helps keep me going.

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