Sexless Marriage (when one partner is ill)

You may be right. But here are the pros:
1) Masturbating is something new and exciting to a teenager, but as an adult, it will most likely make them feel sad and lonely because it does not fulfill the basic human need to be acknowledged as a sexual creature, ideally by someone of the sex they are attracted to.
No one knows or cares that one did it because they generally hide from other people to do it. How sad is that?

2) If person 1 has someone at home that arouses them and person 2 has the same dynamic at home, then the bond is not physical attraction.
It is more of an empathetic bond between two people
who identify with one another.
In theory, there would be no “other woman” or “another man” involvement to complicate what the individuals have at home.

My idea would probably not go over well with many people in our current society.
If society could get over itself
and not paint people as perverts or deviants who are just striving to have fulfillment in there lives before their body’s start to fail them.

I guess I should mention that I have had two counselors. One was a Church pastor. They helped. I do follow the advice to appreciate all the loving things she does.
We are still together at 30 years. We both do the best we can to be good to each other.

Yes and no. Let's just say that your "solution" is just a stop gap measure that does not really address the issue. What you suggest could turn into a relationship that might rip your marriage to pieces. Your wife deserves more than that.

You didn’t indicate why your significant other was not having sex? Did you guys try counseling together? You appear to be still in love with her and I wonder have you and she discussed the topic of sex?
My wife has vaginal atrophy which is common in women as they age. We have found other ways to satisfy our joint pleasures. We have set date nights 3x week and yes we schedule it.

@gjohnny0 - There's a lot to unpack here and , above, you've read many suggestions regarding counseling and such. Have you discussed your "novel" solution with your spouse? How do you plan to make a decision on your strategy going forward?

I suggest that leaving the entire matter hanging...or continuing to search for an opinion on a forum like Mayo Connect that acknowledges your novel solution as effective/acceptable - is NOT the best strategy.

You can stay with your wife and CHOOSE to be content. Happiness is a fleeting thing, dependent upon our circumstances. Joy is an even-handed state of being that is not dependent upon your current state of being. The Apostle Paul said that he had learned to be content in whatever circumstances he found himself in (he was in a Roman prison at the time of his writing). Is it easy staying? No. Is it the right thing? Yes..

Thanks for your thoughtful advice. I will probably weigh the pros and cons until I am too exhausted to do anything and then go to sleep 🙂

Man it is so hard for me to give short answers to people’s questions. The answer I guess is probably the same as most married couples: it’s a touchy subject that we both avoid until some point that forces it to the fore front.

I don’t mean that. I am kind of curious now about the time my wife made an appointment for a counselor for the both of us. We went once and I wonder why we never went back a second time. I am going to ask her next time we talk what made her make that appointment and how come when I asked when the next one was she said she just could not find the time right now.
I followed through with my own therapist appointments and they kind of helped me.

Try counseling it truly works! You and your wife need to change the way you think about sex. Their are many sex therapists out there if you look.