Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Volunteer Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question “Why?” At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn’t really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don’t speak these people’s language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn’t tell a joke, and you never “got” any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn’t appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

@gingerw, I sleep under a heavy comforter during all the seasons. if I could, I would have an eighty pound dog to weigh my legs down. ( I have restless legs ad well) Pressure makes me feel better. Period.

In the nineties, we sandwiched a little Spectrumite between two bean bags, while one of us actually leaned on the topmost beanbag. This was done at the kiddos request and permission from the parents. The school system psychologist was in complete acceptance with this method. Primitive, but back then we did not have pressure vests.

More to come
Mamacita Jane .

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@mamacita

@gingerw, I sleep under a heavy comforter during all the seasons. if I could, I would have an eighty pound dog to weigh my legs down. ( I have restless legs ad well) Pressure makes me feel better. Period.

In the nineties, we sandwiched a little Spectrumite between two bean bags, while one of us actually leaned on the topmost beanbag. This was done at the kiddos request and permission from the parents. The school system psychologist was in complete acceptance with this method. Primitive, but back then we did not have pressure vests.

More to come
Mamacita Jane .

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@mamacita I have a nice spread on the bed right now, and "coccoon" myself in it each night, like a burrito! When my cat gets up here, I know she will lay across my legs, and for that I am grateful.
Ginger

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The Gold Standard concerning the value of pressure on the nervous system is Templle Grandin. She invented the "Squeeze Machine" for use in the cattle industry

Just as infants are calmed and soothed by being swaddled, so do we feel soothed and comforted by steady, direct, overall pressure to our bodies. This is true for Neurotypicals as well as Neurodivergent individuals.

You can find this information easily on the internet. But there is a link that I can attach that speaks in her own words of the value of this type of protocol.

If you find it first and post it, you get a gold star from the teacher!

My days are filled with school, appointments, and trying to get my poor Hubby back on his feet. I will try to post as often as I can, here, and in the other sites on Mayo Clinic Connect.

Take care, loves. Talk to you soon…..
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita Good morning to you, and hoping things are settling "down to a low roar" in your household. I had the honor of meeting Dr. Grandin in 1999, and felt like here was someone who finally "got me".
Here is an in-depth article from 1992 that she wrote https://www.grandin.com/inc/squeeze.html, and may contain the quote you are looking for. Personally the whole article was worth a read!
Ginger

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@mamacita

The Gold Standard concerning the value of pressure on the nervous system is Templle Grandin. She invented the "Squeeze Machine" for use in the cattle industry

Just as infants are calmed and soothed by being swaddled, so do we feel soothed and comforted by steady, direct, overall pressure to our bodies. This is true for Neurotypicals as well as Neurodivergent individuals.

You can find this information easily on the internet. But there is a link that I can attach that speaks in her own words of the value of this type of protocol.

If you find it first and post it, you get a gold star from the teacher!

My days are filled with school, appointments, and trying to get my poor Hubby back on his feet. I will try to post as often as I can, here, and in the other sites on Mayo Clinic Connect.

Take care, loves. Talk to you soon…..
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita, Thanks for reminding us about Temple Grandin. I just posted a remembrance on my FB page last week or so. There is also a movie that is quite memorable. I was living in Hawaii at the time and used to see the Boeing 747 airplanes being loaded with many pallets of 6 – 8 cattle in each. I knew they were from the Parker Ranch near Kamuela on the Big Island. And I knew that they came over on barges to Oahu. What I didn't grasp was that they were being flown to New Mexico to the slaughter facility. Mixed emotions with this one. Be healthy and content. Chris

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Thanks everyone for the good responses. @ginger W, how wonderful it must have been to actually meet Temple Grandin. When I read her book, " Thinking In Pictures " I felt like someone finally understood me. Until that time I thought everyone thought in pictures. Until reading her book, I thought I was a big mistake.

I always knew something was not right. But I could never figure it out. I blamed myself. It was a long process to discovery. So many years of anxiety, not realizing the link between off the charts hearing and my irritability. Sensitivity to sounds made life almost unbearable at times.

That's why I advocate for the little ones who have gone through so many of the same circumstances as I dealt with.

Talk with you soon,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita

Thanks everyone for the good responses. @ginger W, how wonderful it must have been to actually meet Temple Grandin. When I read her book, " Thinking In Pictures " I felt like someone finally understood me. Until that time I thought everyone thought in pictures. Until reading her book, I thought I was a big mistake.

I always knew something was not right. But I could never figure it out. I blamed myself. It was a long process to discovery. So many years of anxiety, not realizing the link between off the charts hearing and my irritability. Sensitivity to sounds made life almost unbearable at times.

That's why I advocate for the little ones who have gone through so many of the same circumstances as I dealt with.

Talk with you soon,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita Yes, like you, I always thought in pictures, and figured everyone did. I also found that the response from animals was unlike anything else, since they were excited that someone was "like them".
Ginger

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@artscaping

@mamacita, Thanks for reminding us about Temple Grandin. I just posted a remembrance on my FB page last week or so. There is also a movie that is quite memorable. I was living in Hawaii at the time and used to see the Boeing 747 airplanes being loaded with many pallets of 6 – 8 cattle in each. I knew they were from the Parker Ranch near Kamuela on the Big Island. And I knew that they came over on barges to Oahu. What I didn't grasp was that they were being flown to New Mexico to the slaughter facility. Mixed emotions with this one. Be healthy and content. Chris

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@Chris Trout, I could so easily become a vegetarian. I am not fond of using animals for nourishment. Guess I would have made a terrible excuse for a Native American back hundreds of years ago. I'd be like, "Nah, y'all go on and devour Bambi' s poor Mama, I'll just be over here foraging for nuts, betries, and a few wild greens."

I believe that the way I feel about animals would have reflected poorly on me as a pioneer woman as well. The Old Man would come home to our two room cabin proud of his slew of fish dangling over his shoulder. He'd tell me to skin 'em, debone those suckers, and fry 'em up in an iron skillet.

Somehow I just don't think he would think too highly of my request for corn pone and greens for dinner. Being vegetarian seems pretty easy to be a choice for a lot of folks who see animals as partners for life. I mean, come on, what about that dog trained by a retired psychologist. He understands and follows through perfectly with almost 2000 words of sign language. And therapy/support dogs. They go to school with the children who need them every day. Their pictures are even in the school yearbook. Some are even allowed to stay in the hospital with their companions.

All I am saying is that I do feel a strong connection with our previous and present furry friends. They may not communicate in so many words, audibly, but they certainly speak volumes from their hearts. And if Stuman ever decides to go vegetarian , it won't be the end of the world for this girl who has an oil painted portrait of our long time family member, Franklin, the beautiful Sheltie who went over the rainbow bridge

Until then, we'll be cooking that big ol' turkey for Thanksgiving day. Which brings up a whole nuther discussion, best kept for later.

In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving and/or Indigenous Peoples Day! Love and peace to you all!

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Although I agree with much of that, I believe animals speak more clearly than humans. They speak with actions, and they don’t lie. They have no ego, no hidden agenda and they don’t expect you to read between the lines. I find it is much easier to communicate with animals who don’t speak English, than to try and navigate the deceptive world of humans. Because I cannot read what the human really thinks, only what they say, I prefer to spend more energy with the animals who live only in this moment. I do spend time with humans and I love helping where I can, but I always retreat the to the animal world, especially if I have spent long hours in meetings.

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@auntieoakley

Although I agree with much of that, I believe animals speak more clearly than humans. They speak with actions, and they don’t lie. They have no ego, no hidden agenda and they don’t expect you to read between the lines. I find it is much easier to communicate with animals who don’t speak English, than to try and navigate the deceptive world of humans. Because I cannot read what the human really thinks, only what they say, I prefer to spend more energy with the animals who live only in this moment. I do spend time with humans and I love helping where I can, but I always retreat the to the animal world, especially if I have spent long hours in meetings.

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@auntieoakley , ahh, yes….You understood what I was trying to say. Animals are not typically deceitful. If you are hurt in any way at all, your furry friend will stay right by your side. Your furry baby does not judge. He practices mindfulness way better than we humans do. We can learn a lot from them.
Love and light
Mamacita Jane

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@ethanmcconkey , @gingerw , @rosemarya, and the rest of our crew, Happy Turkey Day in advance!

I celebrated 45 years of marriage today with my boyfriend of 48 years. I was totally smitten with him from the first day I laid eyes on him. He was 16 and I was 17. He just might be on the Spectrum. I have my opinions about that. If you knew how he was back then, and how I was, you would realize what a miracle it was that we found each other.

Both shy, introverted, totally convinced that neither one of us would ever get married. But he made me laugh. He was brilliant. He was a devoted person of faith. He was easy on the eyes, too, which was kind of nice. Most of our dates revolved around church activities , hiking in the mountains, playing and singing around the piano with friends. Simple things. Just typical life, back in the early seventies.

We loved going to the library together, of all things! I was convinced he was the "one" and I did my research. I even took a French class at the university where his mother was a professor. I wanted to know what I was getting into. I learned some French to add to the two years I had in high school. And I discovered that Dr. Peterson was a unique, brilliant, fascinating woman. She and I got along famously.

Fast forward to 2019. Our new washer and dryer combo was delivered today, two hours later than anticipated. There were issues that had to be addressed, which I won't go into, so as not to bore you any further. Let's just say we are very grateful to be together, with all of the things that a couple endures. It's still worth it.

I am thankful for my gift of this wonderful man, who stood by me through all the years that I was unaware of being on the Spectrum. Autism is not a death sentence. One can find friends, family, love, and acceptance, all the while dealing with the consequences of living in a Neurotypical world. If it can happen to me, there is hope for everyone And it's great if you are happy being single. Not everyone needs or wants a live in companion seven days a week. It is extremely important that we all learn to love and accept ourselves. To enjoy our own company. I do. I need my space.

As I write this, my 66 year old hubby is watching Flash on Netfix. I needed some down time so I am in the living room, anticipating another holiday tomorrow with a small family group. So many memories cloud my mind, as they have done all day long. Some bittersweet

Gotta go for now. The buzzer went off and I must baste the turkey. I hope that you all have the best day tomorrow, and that you make some memories for yourself. If it's just you and a glass of cider as you watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade, that's a start. Take care of you.You are enough.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane y

REPLY
@mamacita

@ethanmcconkey , @gingerw , @rosemarya, and the rest of our crew, Happy Turkey Day in advance!

I celebrated 45 years of marriage today with my boyfriend of 48 years. I was totally smitten with him from the first day I laid eyes on him. He was 16 and I was 17. He just might be on the Spectrum. I have my opinions about that. If you knew how he was back then, and how I was, you would realize what a miracle it was that we found each other.

Both shy, introverted, totally convinced that neither one of us would ever get married. But he made me laugh. He was brilliant. He was a devoted person of faith. He was easy on the eyes, too, which was kind of nice. Most of our dates revolved around church activities , hiking in the mountains, playing and singing around the piano with friends. Simple things. Just typical life, back in the early seventies.

We loved going to the library together, of all things! I was convinced he was the "one" and I did my research. I even took a French class at the university where his mother was a professor. I wanted to know what I was getting into. I learned some French to add to the two years I had in high school. And I discovered that Dr. Peterson was a unique, brilliant, fascinating woman. She and I got along famously.

Fast forward to 2019. Our new washer and dryer combo was delivered today, two hours later than anticipated. There were issues that had to be addressed, which I won't go into, so as not to bore you any further. Let's just say we are very grateful to be together, with all of the things that a couple endures. It's still worth it.

I am thankful for my gift of this wonderful man, who stood by me through all the years that I was unaware of being on the Spectrum. Autism is not a death sentence. One can find friends, family, love, and acceptance, all the while dealing with the consequences of living in a Neurotypical world. If it can happen to me, there is hope for everyone And it's great if you are happy being single. Not everyone needs or wants a live in companion seven days a week. It is extremely important that we all learn to love and accept ourselves. To enjoy our own company. I do. I need my space.

As I write this, my 66 year old hubby is watching Flash on Netfix. I needed some down time so I am in the living room, anticipating another holiday tomorrow with a small family group. So many memories cloud my mind, as they have done all day long. Some bittersweet

Gotta go for now. The buzzer went off and I must baste the turkey. I hope that you all have the best day tomorrow, and that you make some memories for yourself. If it's just you and a glass of cider as you watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade, that's a start. Take care of you.You are enough.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane y

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@mamacita
Happy Anniversary and what a lovely post, Jane! I just love the story of how you "researched" your husband's family by taking his mother's class. You've always been very resourceful in taking care of yourself and being sure you are safe. That is so important. I hope your turkey is wonderful and that you and your memories bring you much joy, you deserve it!

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@hopeful33250

@mamacita
Happy Anniversary and what a lovely post, Jane! I just love the story of how you "researched" your husband's family by taking his mother's class. You've always been very resourceful in taking care of yourself and being sure you are safe. That is so important. I hope your turkey is wonderful and that you and your memories bring you much joy, you deserve it!

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@teresa, Volunteer Mentor, the turkey and dressing, and green bean casserole turned out perfectly. We only had one dessert, since we are all watching our calories. And it was no sugar added cheese cake. Yum.

We used my Mother-in-law's French plates, think they are called "Faiance." Not too sure about the spelling. If she was still with us, there would have been crudites, deviled eggs, homemade cookies and pies, and a typical French salad with home made French bread. Corn on the cob, too This year we just did the basics.

For everyone who celebrates, I hope everyone had a wonderful day.

Mamacita

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@mamacita

@ethanmcconkey , @gingerw , @rosemarya, and the rest of our crew, Happy Turkey Day in advance!

I celebrated 45 years of marriage today with my boyfriend of 48 years. I was totally smitten with him from the first day I laid eyes on him. He was 16 and I was 17. He just might be on the Spectrum. I have my opinions about that. If you knew how he was back then, and how I was, you would realize what a miracle it was that we found each other.

Both shy, introverted, totally convinced that neither one of us would ever get married. But he made me laugh. He was brilliant. He was a devoted person of faith. He was easy on the eyes, too, which was kind of nice. Most of our dates revolved around church activities , hiking in the mountains, playing and singing around the piano with friends. Simple things. Just typical life, back in the early seventies.

We loved going to the library together, of all things! I was convinced he was the "one" and I did my research. I even took a French class at the university where his mother was a professor. I wanted to know what I was getting into. I learned some French to add to the two years I had in high school. And I discovered that Dr. Peterson was a unique, brilliant, fascinating woman. She and I got along famously.

Fast forward to 2019. Our new washer and dryer combo was delivered today, two hours later than anticipated. There were issues that had to be addressed, which I won't go into, so as not to bore you any further. Let's just say we are very grateful to be together, with all of the things that a couple endures. It's still worth it.

I am thankful for my gift of this wonderful man, who stood by me through all the years that I was unaware of being on the Spectrum. Autism is not a death sentence. One can find friends, family, love, and acceptance, all the while dealing with the consequences of living in a Neurotypical world. If it can happen to me, there is hope for everyone And it's great if you are happy being single. Not everyone needs or wants a live in companion seven days a week. It is extremely important that we all learn to love and accept ourselves. To enjoy our own company. I do. I need my space.

As I write this, my 66 year old hubby is watching Flash on Netfix. I needed some down time so I am in the living room, anticipating another holiday tomorrow with a small family group. So many memories cloud my mind, as they have done all day long. Some bittersweet

Gotta go for now. The buzzer went off and I must baste the turkey. I hope that you all have the best day tomorrow, and that you make some memories for yourself. If it's just you and a glass of cider as you watch the Thanksgiving Day Parade, that's a start. Take care of you.You are enough.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane y

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@mamacita Hi Jane! I have recently learned that my boyfriend/husband of 23 yrs is also on the autism spectrum. I really wish he had told me this all those years ago. Our lives would have gone much smoother had I known. I have been reading about it and now have so much more patience with him. His obsession with numbers and facts all makes sense to me now. His black & white logic makes sense to me now. His fear of change used to drive me nuts. Now that I know, I speak to him in more direct terms and that has helped a lot. He gets less agitated that way. He now has some kind of dementia creeping up. We suspect it could arterial dementia. He is displaying the same signs as his mother who had that. We are downsizing and trying to simplify our lives in order to handle things easier. Jane, the things you post are invaluable to many, including me. I hope the upcoming holidays go smoothly for you. Hugs!

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@windwalker , wow!!!!
You make me smile!
I am so happy to hear that you and your precious hubby have made adjustments to your lifestyle. That you understand him so much better in the light of Autism.

Autism is a gift. To many, it is a struggle, trying to find resources and accommodations to help an Autie survive in an increasingly loud. Demanding society.

I wish you well in this next portion of your life. It is refreshing to hear that you, too, are downsizing and simplifying, in order to smoothly transition into this next phase of your life.

I pray many blessings for you and your family as you go forward with confidence. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely, kind thoughts with me.

Hugs and love,
Jane

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